The Runaway Professor

16. Exams

Upon sitting down in my assigned seat, I clenched my fists waiting until the stinging set in and urged me to focus on it only.

Papers were passed out and I tried my best to follow the instructions delivered by Professor Collin, yet his attempts to empower us got lost in his stutters in the end. Fingers cooled down, I shifted in my seat hoping to shake off my raging anxiety. It was of no use. Wrists brought up to my nose, I inhaled the perfume which lured a sneeze from my lips.

It was not even half an hour later that I was finally focused enough on the tasks in front of me, after the professor announced we could start. It was one of the longer exams, yet an easier one if creative and philosophical. Collin was a younger professor, though he was a softy for spiritual and free thinking. It was a good thing I knew how to approach his exams. Taking sips of my energy drink here and there I restricted myself, hence I hated leaving for the restrooms in exams. It could help to clear the head, though it could do the opposite and throw you into a spiral of reality.

Leaving the thick, heated up air within the hall, I swallowed. The relief did not set in. On my way home it did not return to me and neither did it when sitting down in my living room. As if on fire my body was on high speed, whilst simultaneously being unbelievably exhausted. My chest heaved as if heavy weights were attached to it and my back curved in.

Not even the noise of the traffic outside reached my ears today. I haven't really been home around noon, on a Monday.

Stomach churning the little bubbles within stung my middle. Sighing softly I remained in my position, leaned back on the couch.

My Thursday looked similar. I sat in the exam, though my eyes were already heavy. The only reminder I focused on was to push through. There was no way I'd fail this. I could not. Head cloudy with unwanted thoughts, I placed my exam in the basket on Cate's desk. Upon exiting the building, I allowed the cool autumn air to embrace my exposed skin. Cheeks, nose, ears and hands welcomed the newly gained hug of temperature.

Car honking earned my head to spin around, locking eyes with Natalie in her dark blue Toyota. "Hey sexy, need a ride home?"

Not saying a word, I took a seat inside the warmth. Eyeing me carefully, she took off, my body being pressed into the seat. Her hand found my cold thigh.

Relationships were a curious thing. Every kind of them, romantic, platonic and everything in-between. The vibration of my phone earned my insides to churn in protest upon reading the message. The other side of relationships was on the other side of the screen. An involuntarily assigned relationship. Family.

***

"Sorry, I really really am sorry! I'll make it up to you. Coffee's on me next time." Paige sighed and I could clearly see the frown on her forehead through the phone, even though I was nowhere near her.

Slumped down on my couch I closed my eyes and shook my head, knowing she did not see. "It's okay, I got enough pictures. I won't say no to free coffee though."

"You never have enough pictures," she said, giggling and sort of dismissing my reply. Artists right?

Walking back and forth in and out of my kitchen I did not seem to find any food suddenly appearing in my fridge. Slumping down in-between pillows, papers and popcorn crumbles on my couch, my body tensed instead of calming.

I'd been scrolling through TikTok for hours now, not relaxing one bit. My body must think it was still sitting in the exam, pushing through.

The deadlines moved closer minute by minute, whilst I did not seem to get anything done. University and my private life made sure of it. The pile only ever grew and grew.