Book of Diasomnia • Diasomnia x Reader

015. they're all here because of you [malleus]

"They're all here because of you", Lilia had told him with a smile on his face as the students gathered at Diasomnia for his birthday celebration, "look at how many people came to celebrate you even though we're all from different lands and have different ways of life. Isn't this school just a curious place?" Malleus had smiled at the words of the older dragon fae. Indeed, he had been looking forward to another birthday at Night Raven College, especially in his third year when he had talked to more people and experienced more of human life than ever before. He felt honored that the humans had come to celebrate him. That he didn't have to eat the cake alone this time or stare out of the window, wondering if everyone was having fun with the festivities in the village below the castle; while he had to stay inside asking himself what it would be like to join them.

Few had been brave enough to walk up directly to him and wish him a happy birthday. But they're all here because of me, Malleus reminded himself, they're here to celebrate my birthday. If he hadn't come to Night Raven College, there'd be no reason to celebrate his birthday after all.

He observed the humans from a distance; watched as they shared the cake that had been ordered specifically for the birthday celebration. It looked like it would be finished in no time. More than half of it was already gone and Malleus looked pleased. He had overheard several people commenting on how the cake was delicious and he himself found it quite enjoyable. He sat at a table near the window with his own plate in front of him. Sebek sat with him and complimented him but Malleus didn't really listen. Sebek didn't seem to notice nor mind.

Malleus saw how some of the humans took out their phone and took pictures of themselves with the other guests, celebrating and having fun together. He pulled his own phone out of his pocket only to notice it was broken again. When did that even happen this time?, he sighed. He'd have to get a new one sometime soon and find someone to explain Magicam to him, so he could be in the photos and participate in interacting with his classmates online. Malleus thought back to the Halloween week and the "Draconia challenge". That didn't count, right? He felt more like a commodity or a tourist attraction at the time. Was this what being in photos with others was supposed to feel like? Was this how all of them felt too?

They didn't seem unhappy. In fact, a lot of them seemed to have a great deal of fun at his birthday. They had hugged their friends and told each other stories of their latest and most interesting memories. The countries they had seen during their holidays and the parties they had been to recently. They also discussed their plans together for the coming weekends. Malleus smiled. It sounded like a lot of fun.

But the lingering feeling of sadness in his heart stayed. They were all here because of him and yet, as soon as they'd leave the dorm lounge, that too would come to pass. Lilia, Silver and Sebek had been the only ones on this day to hold a longer conversation with him. Most had congratulated him and then moved on to stick to their own groups that they'd share his cake with and celebrate his birthday with. And Malleus was watching. That's all he really did, were he honest with himself.

He remembered the beginning of the school year when he had told you that he quite enjoyed the solitude. Maybe he just really found his own company to be the best he had; liked to stroll through abandoned ruins and ponder the ways of the world in silence. Or maybe, if he truly listened to the voice in his heart for just a moment; instead of pushing it away in hopes to never hear from it again; he'd find that that was not the truth. That sometimes he preferred solitude because it hurt less than this. It was what he was used to and it caused him less pain than the idea of being surrounded by people and alone despite it all.

Had people really come to celebrate his birthday? Or did they simply receive the invitation and felt like celebrating something, anything?

He observed as his human guests giggled about something he didn't understand and put a party hat on one of their friends; teasing them about it. And then he looked at his little table, with his half-finished slice of cake and Sebek rambling on endlessly about how powerful and great he was. He wondered if Sebek had noticed that no one else had sat at their table for the entirety of the celebration. At least he seemed content with it...