In My Dreams - Bill Kaulitz Story

45. Seducing or resisting?

While I was on my way to styling and makeup with the assistant, he apologized once again for the unexpected intrusion into my dressing room. I reassured him, saying, "Don't worry, it's okay. It was just a bit... poorly timed."
The assistant nodded gratefully for my understanding, and we continued our way to the makeup room. As the makeup artist and stylist worked on my hair and makeup, my thoughts wandered in every direction. The intimate moment with Bill in my dressing room still lingered in my mind, and I felt the excitement and temptation that accompanied it. My heart raced at the memory of his touch, the warmth of his body against mine, and the soft kiss on my neck. I still felt the tingles on my skin. The attraction between us was undeniable, and it was challenging to focus entirely on the performance.
While trying to concentrate on my reflection, I realized that I must not succumb to temptation. Yet, on one hand, there was Bill, with his enchanting brown eyes and the way he looked at me as if I were the only person in the world. I felt the temptation to lose myself in his arms. But I knew I couldn't give in to that temptation because I had to return to my world, and kissing Bill would only make it more difficult.
On the other hand, there was the realization that Bill already had a girlfriend in this reality. He seemed happy with the other Elise, and I couldn't be the one to disrupt their relationship. It would be unfair to kiss Bill while he was already committed to someone else, and I didn't want to be the one causing deeper wounds.
Yet, it remained challenging not to give in, especially because deep down, I knew I was attracted to him in a way I could hardly comprehend. But there were still so many reasons why I had to resist the temptation. Then there was also the issue of my own heart. I didn't want to expose myself again to the pain of a broken heart. It was a lesson I had learned in my own world and didn't want to repeat.
With every brushstroke and every sweep of my makeup, I tried to convince myself that I had to remain professional and restrained. I couldn't allow my desire for Bill to take over because I knew it wouldn't be fair to him, Elise, or myself.
Still, despite my determination, I couldn't get the memories of Bill out of my head, and I knew I had to stay vigilant, especially when I was around him. The stylist and makeup artist looked at me questioningly, as I was lost in thought. I smiled at them, thanked them for their work, and stood up to get ready for the performance. As I headed to the stage, I comforted myself with the thought that maintaining my own boundaries and responsibilities was the right choice. Whatever happened, I had to stay strong and keep my focus on the things that truly mattered. It was the only way to find my way back to my own world and help my mother.

The show was a great success, and Bas and I gave our all on stage. We were breathless, feeling the adrenaline still coursing through our veins as we left the stage. While walking towards the dressing rooms, we noticed crew members whispering to each other and occasionally laughing. It felt awkward, as if something was going on that we didn't understand.
Curious and a bit concerned, I turned to Bas, who was walking beside me. "Do you have any idea what's going on?" I asked him, my voice a bit tense.
Bas shrugged, a frown on his face. "Honestly, Elise, I don't. It seems like something's going on, but I don't know what."
I whispered to Bas, "Could they know that I'm not the real Elise?" Bas shook his head and said, "I haven't said anything, and I don't think Bill will either. We'll keep your secret safe."
The mysterious behavior of the crew left me feeling uneasy, and I couldn't help but wonder why they were reacting like this. Had something happened during the show that I hadn't noticed? Perhaps an unintentional mistake? Or was there something else going on that I was unaware of?
When we reached our dressing room, we saw Georg standing by the Tokio Hotel door, laughing. His cheerful mood was contagious, and I wondered if he had anything to do with the crew's mysterious behavior.
"Hey, can we join the laughter?" Bas asked with a grin, while Georg continued to burst into laughter. It was clear that something was happening that I had no knowledge of.
Then Bill came out of his dressing room, his face deadly serious. "Can you stop laughing?" Bill snapped, and Georg tried to contain his laughter. "How was your little moment with Bill in the dressing room?" Georg burst into laughter afterward.
The blush on my cheeks turned deep red, and I felt humiliated to my core. Georg seemed clearly to refer to that incident in the dressing room where the assistant had found Bill and me together. It was obvious that everyone thought something intimate was going on between us, and we had been caught.
The thought that the entire crew, and even the other band members, would think this about me and Bill filled me with shame. Tears pricked behind my eyes, and I had no idea how to handle this awkward situation.
Bas immediately noticed that something was wrong and asked with concern in his voice, "What's going on?" I gasped for breath, tried to swallow the lump in my throat, and struggled with the words to explain this without further embarrassing myself.
But before I could respond, Bill continued with a stern expression on his face. "It's not funny, guys. Stop this nonsense and get ready for the performance."
Georg replied, "Bill and Elise were fooling around when the assistant came to get her and spread the word." Bill looked annoyed at Georg and said, "Georg, enough now!" Suddenly, my manager, Paul, joined us, his face expressionless and businesslike. He looked at me and ordered, "Elise, come with me," as he turned away to go back to my dressing room. Bill looked at me with pity, but I had no choice but to obey. I followed my manager, hoping that this incident wouldn't have too many consequences for the rest of the tour.