In My Dreams - Bill Kaulitz Story

63. Sadness

David slowly picked up his phone from the nightstand and dialed Bill's number. The tension in the room was palpable, and I sat on the edge of the chair, my hands trembling.
"Yeah, Bill," I heard David say into the phone. "Please come to my room as soon as possible."
I felt a pang of panic as David hung up the phone. The room seemed to shrink as seconds crawled by. I turned my gaze to David, eyes filled with confusion and despair. My voice trembled as I asked the inevitable: "Why? Why are you doing this to Bill?"
David didn't avert his gaze from mine. His eyes burned intensely as he slowly approached me. A cold shiver ran down my spine as he came closer. He placed his hand under my chin and tilted my head up slightly, so I looked directly at him.
"Elise," he said with a commanding tone, "don't forget where you come from." His eyes pierced mine, and I couldn't help but obey. "Don't forget who I rescued from the streets while you were selling yourself."
His words cut through me like a sharp knife, and I felt defeated and humiliated. My mouth quivered as I attempted to say something, but only a hoarse whisper came out. It was as if I were trapped in a nightmare, confronted with an unimaginable truth.
David turned away and walked to the other side of the room. His voice was softer now but still penetrating: "But if you must know, Bill was a mess, desperately seeking love. As his manager, I couldn't afford to have the lead singer of my band become depressed. And then, I met you." He turned to face me again, looking intensely into my eyes. "I immediately saw your potential, your talent, your charisma, your maturity, and your beauty. I made sure you no longer had to live on the streets, and your presence made Bill happy. That was the agreement we had."
His face was now just inches from mine. "But falling in love with him wasn't part of that agreement, darling. Over the last week, I noticed you two getting too close, and it made me terribly jealous."
I stared at David, numb and disgusted. This revelation about the relationship between the Elise of this world and David made me sick. It explained why she wanted to escape from this world. This world was a nightmare, and I now understood why she wanted to leave.

A soft knock on the door sounded, and David called, "Come in." It was Bill, with a furrow on his forehead and a slight concern in his eyes. He looked from David to me and seemed to realize that something serious was happening.
"David, what's going on here?" Bill asked as he walked toward me and put his arm protectively around me.
"Bill," David began. "I've found out that your so-called girlfriend hasn't been honest with you." I squeezed Bill's hand and shook my head. David continued, "Take a look at this." He handed Bill a document, most likely the contract the other Elise had signed. Bill's eyes scanned the papers as he read, his face contorting with surprise and indignation.
"What does this mean?" he asked with a tremor in his voice.
"Yeah, Bill, apparently, Paul and Elise had an agreement for her to seduce you so that she could become more famous and sell more of her own music," David revealed. Bill stared at the words on the paper, and I could see that this news deeply affected him. "But that's not all," David continued. He pulled out a recorder and played the audio clip where I had talked to David about the contract. As the fragment played, I looked at Bill. His expression shifted from astonishment to disbelief and finally to sadness.
Then David asked, "Have you developed feelings for Bill?" I immediately answered, "No." Bill looked at me with disbelief, his eyes shining with tears, and his lips trembling as he realized the reality of the situation. It was as if his heart was breaking into a thousand pieces. The clear 'no' in the recording seemed to hurt him more than the contract the other Elise had signed.
David put the recorder back and said, "I think it's best if your relationship with Elise is over." Bill nodded, unable to find words to respond. "Okay, David," he said softly. Bill looked at me for a moment, and I couldn't bear the confusion and brokenness in his gaze. He turned his eyes away, stared at the ground, and seemed deeply lost in thought.
"Can I speak to Elise alone for a moment?" Bill asked David, and I heard the plea in his voice. David sighed and replied, "You have five minutes. Then we're heading to the award show." He left the room, gently closing the door behind him.

The room was filled with heavy tension as Bill stared deep into my eyes. His hands slowly moved to mine and held them tightly. I could feel the warmth of his touch as he asked me with a broken voice, "Elise, why weren't you honest with me? Why didn't you say anything about that contract? I thought I could trust you."
My throat felt dry, and I swallowed hard before answering, "Paul told me this after our performance in Berlin. I just didn't know how to react when I heard it... Bas said I should let it sink in." Bill looked at me with indignation. "What? You told Bas, but not me?" I burst out, "What's your problem with Bas?!"
Bill lowered his gaze as he tried to compose himself. "Elise, I love you," he whispered softly. "And I can see how Bas looks at you. I see how every man looks at you and what they want from you." His words filled the room with an intensity that made my heart skip a beat. He had just said he loved me, and it slowly sank in. I was paralyzed and couldn't find words. His hands kept holding mine as he asked me almost beggingly, "Is it true what you told David? Do you have no feelings for me?" The emotion in his voice touched me deeply.
My eyes filled with tears, and I didn't know what to say. The space between us seemed to disappear as we looked deeply into each other's eyes. Bill almost pleaded, "Please, Elise, say it's a lie." My heart pounded in my chest, and I felt the warmth of his hands, which seemed to grow warmer. I looked at him with a flood of sorrow in my eyes, but I couldn't respond. Tears streamed down my cheeks, but I couldn't make a sound.
"Okay, the fact that you can't respond says enough," Bill said with a broken look. He let go of my hands and walked to the door. At the threshold, he turned around one more time, opened his mouth to say something, but no words came out. He left the room, and the door closed with a dull thud behind him.
I sank to the floor and burst into tears. My heart screamed at Bill that I loved him too, but I just couldn't say it back. I grabbed the pen holder on the desk and slammed it against the door. "Damn it, Bill, I love you too," I whispered, knowing that my words were now too late.