In My Dreams - Bill Kaulitz Story

65. Award show

We arrived at the award show, where excitement filled the air. The red carpet was laid out, and we were surrounded by flashing cameras and eager fans hoping to catch a glimpse of their favorite artists. I stepped onto the red carpet with the other members of Tokio Hotel, smiling, waving, and posing for photos. I was accustomed to this routine, and my face displayed a perfect smile, hiding any inner pain. As we reached the interviews after the red carpet, we were greeted by the interviewer, a charming woman with a broad smile. She asked us some standard questions about our presence at the award show, our work on our music, and our fans. The atmosphere was light and cheerful. We provided our rehearsed answers. I could handle this routine on autopilot, except when an interviewer asked a question that momentarily threw me off balance. She displayed a magazine with a photo of Elise and me, looking so in love. My heart broke again at the sight of that photo.
I swallowed my emotions and replied, "Elise and I have since parted ways. I haven't found the right one yet, but who knows, maybe I'll meet her tonight here at the award show." My response felt like a heavy burden on my shoulders, and I hoped no one would notice the pain in my eyes.
The interviewer seemed momentarily surprised and taken aback by my answer. Her mouth fell open, but she quickly recovered and laughed at my remark. "Well, that sounds like an interesting night ahead, Bill. We wish you good luck in your quest for true love."
I smiled back, and meanwhile, she continued with her questions. I provided the expected answers, but internally, I felt the pain of losing Elise, trying to keep my emotions in check.
Once in the auditorium, we were led to our seats. As we sat at our table in the auditorium, I noticed my bandmates looking at me with concerned glances. They knew how much Elise meant to me and how difficult this was for me. A venue staff member came by to explain what was expected of us and where we should go if we were to win an award. Champagne glasses were carefully placed on our table, and I decided to drown my emotions in the sparkling bubbles.
It was after that first glass of champagne, while the award show was in full swing, that my thoughts suddenly drifted to the other Elise, that cunning woman who had trapped me to become famous herself. A feeling of deep disgust overwhelmed me. How could she do this to me? My head filled with memories of the warnings from the others. They had always been right: no one should ever have her. Yet, I had fallen for her like a fool. As if the betrayal with my own brother wasn't bad enough, I now had in black and white on paper that she had never truly loved me.
I was disgusted by the thought that she had deceived me, not only with my brother but also by feigning her feelings. It felt like a stab in the back, and I could barely comprehend how someone could be so ruthless. How could she manipulate me so heartlessly? As the champagne flowed smoothly, my inner anger grew. I sincerely hoped I would never have to see her again. Her betrayal had left an indelible wound in my heart, and I could hardly imagine how I would ever overcome this.
Suddenly, I heard the words, "And the winner for the best album is... TOKIO HOTEL!" in the background. The cameras turned to us, and I did my best to appear excited. We stood up, made our way to the stage, and accepted the award. I smiled, raised the award in the air, thanked the audience, and everyone who had supported us, looking probably as if I were ecstatic.
After the award ceremony, we were called to perform a song, fortunately a pre-recorded playback show, so I didn't have to worry about vocal quality. "Monsoon" echoed through the speakers, and we took our moment on stage before returning to our seats. We won two more awards, but honestly, I couldn't care less. My head was already elsewhere, and the champagne flowed abundantly.
My head spun from the champagne, and I just wanted the night to be over. Finally, the show concluded, and the venue was transformed for the afterparty. It was time to party.

Georg and Tom were immediately on the dance floor, their bodies moving to the rhythm of the music. I, on the other hand, remained seated with Gustav. He moved closer to me, concern evident on his face.
"Bill, is everything okay with you?" Gustav asked, looking at me. A sarcastic smile appeared on my face as I picked up my glass of alcohol.
"Fantastic," I giggled. Without hesitation, I brought the glass to my lips and downed it in one gulp. I felt the alcohol slowly take effect as I relaxed more and more. At that moment, I didn't care anymore about what happened to me.
Suddenly, I couldn't contain my frustration any longer. I blurted out, "Elise is just a bitch," clearly referring to the Elise from this world. Gustav looked somewhat shocked, not knowing how to respond to this emotional outburst.
"Another drink, Georg?" I asked without much thought. Gustav corrected me gently, "Bill, it's Gustav."
I suddenly stood up from my chair, but my coordination was far from perfect. With a loud crash, my chair hit the ground. "Oops," I mumbled as I stumbled towards the bar.