In My Dreams - Bill Kaulitz Story

71. Bas

POV Elise

"Stop, Bill. Stop saying you love me, because your actions prove the opposite. For the outside world, we're broken up; let's act like it, Bill. I want you to leave and leave me alone."
I turn around, my gaze fixed on the mirror, trying to ignore the echo of Bill's words. His voice sounds dull in my head, and a cold shiver runs down my spine. I hear Bill say something else, but I don't react anymore. My emotions form a chaotic mess inside me, a mixture of sadness, anger, and disappointment. The mirror reflects a broken version of myself. My eyes, red from crying, are full of pain, and my hands tremble as I try to touch up my makeup, a futile attempt to hide from the outside world how torn apart I am inside.

The sound of the door closing echoes in the room. My eyes stare at the empty space where Bill stood just moments ago. The words he just spoke cut deep into my soul. My hands tremble, but I keep them tightly on my lap to maintain the appearance of control. The tears I shed earlier seemed to leave a salty imprint on my cheeks now. My eyes were red and tired, but I refused to allow myself to cry even more. I couldn't afford it. A moment later, the door opened again, and I hesitated to look at who was coming in. Afraid of a moment of weakness where I might give in to the urge to forgive Bill. Because despite everything, I wanted nothing more than to return to his arms, the place where I thought I belonged.
Two strong arms wrapped around me, and the scent of Bas's familiar aftershave filled my nose. He asked gently, "Are you okay?" His voice trembled almost imperceptibly, as if he was afraid of breaking me further. I nodded softly, unable to find my voice. My heart pounded in my chest, a constant reminder of the chaos unfolding within me. Bas slowly let me go and looked at me with concern. "Elise, I just saw Bill in the hallway. He kept his head down. Haven't you talked it out yet?" My heart skipped a beat at the mention of Bill's name. "No, Bas, how does that work now? I almost opened my heart to him, and he just threw it away." Bas sighed, as if deeply contemplating what to say. "Elise, you two are really crazy about each other. I just heard from the guys that he was really drunk." I rolled my eyes. "That's not an excuse," I protested. Bas looked at me with an understanding gaze, as if he understood the burden of my broken heart. "I know love can hurt, but it's also the most beautiful thing there is. You don't have to shut yourself off from something that can be so wonderful. Bill may have been an idiot, but that doesn't mean love isn't worth it."
I sighed and let my gaze wander. Bas looked at me determinedly and turned my chair so that I had to look directly into his eyes. "Elise, I understand that you're damaged, but shutting yourself off from love is not the solution. You deserve happiness, and that doesn't mean you have to give up your heart."
"Bas, please understand that my situation is different. I can't just open my heart, knowing that I'll eventually have to return to a reality where none of this is real."
He nodded understandingly. "I know this is all strange for you, Elise, but maybe that's why you underestimate the magic of love. It can change your world, even if it's not yours."
I looked at him, my thoughts a jumble of emotions. Bas's words struck a chord, but I wasn't ready to admit it. "Maybe, Bas, but I can't take the risk. I can't wait to wake up at home and realize that all of this was just a dream."
He nodded understandingly. "Okay, Elise. I'll respect your choice. But remember that love sometimes appears at the most unexpected moments, even when you're not looking for it." I smiled weakly, grateful for his support. "Thank you, Bas. Let's focus on tonight's performance now. Maybe music offers a temporary escape from this emotional chaos." He nodded again and stood up.

After the successful performance, I returned to the dressing room with Bas. The adrenaline from the stage performance slowly faded, and I felt fatigue and emotional exhaustion setting in. A warm shower seemed to be exactly what I needed to sort out my thoughts and pull myself together. "I think I'll shower here," I announced. We were leaving for the next destination tonight. "The showers in our tour bus are way too small." Bas nodded understandingly. "Okay, I'll shower in our tour bus. See you there!" With a wink, he left the dressing room, leaving me alone with my thoughts.
As I prepared for a refreshing shower, I let the warm water flow. The sound of the spraying streams filled the bathroom, creating a soothing atmosphere. As I reached for the shampoo from my bag, my eyes caught Bas's pack of cigarettes casually lying on the table. A small smile appeared on my face; Bas would surely be back soon to retrieve his cigarettes. I decided to return to the bathroom and began to undress slowly. While standing naked in front of the mirror, I felt the warmth of the water spreading through the room. A moment of silence descended as I looked at my own reflection in the mirror. I ran my hand under the flowing water, feeling the perfect temperature. I was just about to step into the shower when I heard the door of the dressing room open. Quickly, I wrapped a towel around my body and stepped out of the bathroom. "Can't you live without these?" I said with a smile, but it froze on my face when I saw who was really in the dressing room.