Into the Deep End

Catching The Current

The following days the boys were somewhat more distant and everyone could feel tension in the room.

"Are you guys ok..?" Chan asked, looking between Hyunjin and Felix, who were still sitting next to eachother as usual but had a large gap between them and seemed to be reserved. "Do we have a little lover's quarrel on our hands" Han said teasingly but it made Hyunjin aggressive scoot his chair back and walk to the room, slamming the door behind him.

It wasn't that he was mad, he was just frustrated. Everything felt so heavy between them and he could tell that Felix was trying to avoid him. Hyunjin didn't know how to fix it.

Everyone turned to face Felix who got smaller traying to escape their glares.
"Whoah.... I was just messing with you, what's really going on..." Han's tone shifted from mocking to serious.
Felix just shook his head, not wanting to expose them to the others. "I'll go talk to him." He said as he slowly pushed his chair back and walked toward the room, knocking on the door. "Leave me alone." He heard through the door. "It's Felix.... come on, let me in" he responded in a low tinged with sadness.

After a couple of seconds Hyunjin cracked the door open for Felix to enter and laid back down on his bed. Felix walked over and sat on the edge of it, hesitating before sitting down. This caught Hyunjin's attention making him more frustrated.

"See this is what I mean! It's different" Hyunjin sighed. Felix noticed the hesitation and scooted closer to him. "I'm sorry..." He started, unsure of how to proceed further. But deep down he knew they had to address it, it was becoming something larger than just the 2 of them and was affecting their group and their work.
Felix took a deep breath and looked at the floor.

"I feel different. When I am close to you now I get nervous, I feel like I am constantly treading the line between self control and losing it..." his voice was still low and hesitant he had to take a break to calm his nerves.

Hearing the words Hyunjin sat up on his bed with a surprised look. "Losing control over what...?" Hyunjin asked, haf knowing the answer to the question but not wanting to assume. The silence caused his heart to race. With one more deep breath Felix shakily continued.

"Losing control of my desire to kiss you" Felix dropped his head further down, laying it in his hands, terrified of the response that Hyunjin would give him.

"Is that what has been bothering you? How can I help you? Because I can't go on like this." Felix nodded and shrugged his shoulders. Hyunjin placed his hand on his back.

"Don't be scared... let go. Right now. Let go of the self-control and then we can see how to take it." Hyunjin stated clearly, standing up in front of Felix and pulling him up too.

"We can't be distant forever, and I don't want to be. So just let go of everything and relax.. you are too deep in your thoughts again." Hyunjin stated, staying firm in his position close to Felix.

Felix looked up at him and could feel his heart racing, his stomach was in knots. He cupped Hyunjins face and finally looked him in the eyes.. wanting to get permission. Hyunjin blinked slowly and very softly nodded  his head. Felix stood on his toes and pressed their lips together.
They pulled away just enough to catch a breath and recover. Letting it sink in. This time Hyunjin broke the silence and went back in for more. Felix let himself sink into it and wrapped his arms around Hyunjin's neck.

"You have no idea how long I have been wanting to do that again.." Hyunjin spoke softly and breathlessly. Felix let out a soft chuckle and went in for one last kiss, a more delicate one this time.

"So.... where do we go from here?" Felix asked, waiting for Hyunijin to take the lead this time.

"Honestly... I don't know.." he said shrugging his shoulders. "What I do know is that I would not mind doing that again." He said with a smirk, causing Felix to giggle. "Now its going to be a different challenge to not let myself do that around you all the time." Felix responded.