Into the Deep End

Going Under

It has been a month since the threats started and life has not gotten much better for the 2. The threats had calmed down but as soon as Hyunjin and Felix tried to show more of their interactions it blew back up, with people now analyzing any interaction, or perceived interaction, that the pair had.

The staff became increasingly aware and had warned Hyunjin and Felix not to interact at all. This caused problems too because it made it obvious that something was going on. They were stuck between a rock and a hard place with 1 being interacting normally and getting threats, and the other being to avoid eachother making it stand out because they are not like that with any of the other members.

Hyunjin and Felix both received a lot of messages asking if they were ok and asking if something was wrong between them because a lot of their fans missed how they used to be. Hyunjin and Felix did too. Even when they were alone in the dorms it felt different.

Another problem that came with the staff rules and "damage control" was the pushing of interactions with other members to try and distract from the obvious tension. Changbin was the one caught in the crossfire frequently since both are shipped with him. They had once talked about the "love triangle" idea that was popping up.

The shipping became a real point of contention for the pair. It was hard to feel secure in a relationship when you can't talk about it or even show it, while also having to watch your partner be touchy with another person rumored to have feelings for them.

One of these interactions was something that the pair could not move past.

The group has a casual live scheduled with them all. This time Felix was sat next to Changbin. Lives are usually more relaxed but group ones like this had a lot of staff around.

Felix and Hyunjin had gotten into an argument the night before

Flashback:

Both tend to be really possesive and jealous, Hyunjin usually being the first to get like that (mostly due to Felix's sunshine nature and the fact that he is a social butterfly).

No clear consensus could be made and an argument broke out when Felix was questioning how he could possibly avoid touching when that is just who he is as a person. Hyunjin clapped back saying "you tend to control yourself just fine when it comes to me when we are in public. I remember the time when you struggled to control yourself around me, maybe you really should take it seriously and then you will avoid them." As soon as the words left Hyunjin's mouth he knew that he shouldn't have brought up old wounds that they thought had healed. "Wow.... ok so that is what we are going back to now? You know how much harder it was to control myself when there wasn't so much on the line? That need for self control just seems like child's play compared to the potential loss of a career, giant scandal, not to mention potential life that is at stake now! You can't keep bringing up the past to compare to Hwang!!" Felix raised his voice, getting continuously more frustrated at Hyunjin's apparent lack of understanding of how serious the situation is.

"Well sorry for placing our relationship as a priority on my list. But I guess we clearly don't see it the same way. Do whatever you want, see if I care since clearly you don't." With that Hyunjin grabbed his things from the room and walked out. Slamming the door behind him.

All Felix could do was sit on the bed hugging his knees. He hated fighting with Hyunjin and felt guilty. 'Do I really not prioritize our relationship?' He got really stuck in his head and after a lot of crying, a lot of guilt, and a throbbing headache from the thoughts and the crying, desperately trying to stop his body from releasing the pain the he would usually do. He had promised Hyunjin that he would go to him if ever felt the need to harm himself again, but right now he couldn't do that, he also could not go back on his promise that he made, knowing it would be something that would break Hyunjin's heart. He was somehow able to fall asleep out of pure exhaustion. He was barely able to get 3 hours of sleep in before his alarm woke him up.