Into the Deep End

The First Breath

Summary of last chapter: Hyunjin and Felix both broke down. Felix wrote deep end as an effort to clear his mind. Felix attempted suicide, Changbin found him. Hyunjin, Changbin and Chan left to take Felix to the hospital. Minho stayed home to watch over the other members.

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Hyunjin and Changbin raced to the car, Hyunjin taking the driver's seat while Changbin sat in the back with Felix on his lap, he was gently stroking the younger's hair trying to comfort Felix but mostly trying to comfort himself. Chan jumped in the passenger's seat and they rushed off.

Hyunjin started to panic behind the wheel. "Shit... shit.. SHIT!" Hyunjin beat his hand against the steering wheel.

"Hyunjin... you couldn't have known. He was our ray of sunshine, don't blame yourself for not knowing what he didn't show." Chan tried to comfort Hyunjin but he broke out in bigger sobs.

"You don't get it! I FUCKING KNEW! I knew he had a history of harming himself.. I SAW THE BLOOD ON HIS SLEEVE AND I DIDN'T FUCKING HELP HIM!" Hyunjin started  hyperventilating.

"Pull over..."

"We can't waste any time!"

"FUCKING PULL OVER HYUNJIN! IF YOU PASS OUT BEHIND THE WHEEL THERE WILL BE NO BODY SAVE!!" Changbin's voice was anxious filled with rage. Hyunjin did as he was asked and pulled over.

"Get out, switch places with me. I'll drive. Take some deep breaths dude."

Hyunjin struggled to get himself together enough to switch spots with Changbin and sat in the back seat. He cupped his hands around his love's lifeless body, only sign of life being the faint rising and falling of his chest. The sight made Hyunjin's breathing more erratic.

"Hey.. HEY! LOOK AT ME!" Chan yelled facing back at him in the back seat. 

"Breathe with me dude! IN 2. 3. 4. OUT 2. 3. 4." They continued the cycle for a couple of rounds until Hyunjin's breathing finally calmed down.

They reached the hospital and Changbin got out of the car. Taking Felix back in his arms and rushing him in, a group of nurses came up to them and took Felix away. Hyunjin and Chan followed closely behind.

"Excuse me, we need to get some more information about the man you brought in." The front desk associate called out.

"I'll handle this..." Chan walked up to her giving a gentle smile toward the others. Hyunjin collapsed on the floor, his sobs became more strained and forceful.

Changbin grabbed him and raised him up to sit on the waiting room seat.

"Why would you keep something like that from us...." Changbin spoke out softly, not looking at Hyunjin and keeping his eyes glued on the floor.

"H-he begged me not to and he had been handling it." Hyunjin trailed his voice off and squeezed his fists so hard that he broke skin.

Changbin placed his hand on Hyunjin's, recognizing the torment he was placing on himself.

Hyunjin pulled his hand away.

"I don't deserve the kindness. I was the only one that could have helped him and I didn't do anything.... how will I live with myself if he...."

"Hey. Don't think like that. He is going to be fine. Come here" Changbin held Hyunjin close to him as he sobbed into his chest.

Meanwhile at the dorms the others started waking up. I.N was the first one out. He saw Minho sleeping at the table and like a menace decided to sneak up on him. He leaned in really close to Minho's ear.

"Wake up!" He yelled. Minho shot his head up and clutched his chest.

"Jesus Jeongin! What the hell did you do that for?!" He glared at I.N who was clutching his stomach laughing.

When Minho got his heart rate back down he remembered the events of the following morning.

"Can you wake up the others please? I need to let you guys know what's going on." Minho's serious face concerned I.N but he did what he was told and woke up Seungmin and Han.

"Minho... what's going on. Where are the others..?" They all took their place at the table and Minho inhaled deeply, preparing for the news he was going to tell the guys.

"Listen, I don't want you guys to panic but Chan, Changbin, and Hyunjin had to take Felix to the hospital early this morning." Minho was grateful he had time to process so that he could keep it together for the younger guys. Their faces were shocked.

"W-what happened?!" Han was the first to break the silence.

"It seems that he... took a bottle of pills.." Minho sighed. He didn't want it to come out this way but the other members had a right to know what was going on. "Changbin found him when he passed out. He was still breathing but they took him to the hospital."

Tears escaped the eyes of everybody.

"What...?" Seungmin spoke up this time. Everyone stayed quiet for a while, just letting it process. Han stood up and sprinted to the door.

"Where are you-""to the hospital. My best friend is there I can't just sit around here and wait." Han interupted Minho.

"Are you coming or what?!" The other members got up and headed out the door. Not even bothering to change out of their pajamas.

The others quickly made it to the hospital and spotted Chan, who had his arm around Changbin and Hyunjin who was passed out on Changbin's lap.

"Hey.. any updates?" Minho spoke up.

"Shhh, he was finally able to fall asleep. He was really having a rough time so it's best he sleeps through the wait." Chan whispered, pointing to the sleeping Hyunjin on Changbin's lap.

Minho and the others nodded.

"They took him as soon as we got here. It has been a couple hours and we haven't heard anything yet..." just as soon as Chan finished his sentence a doctor came into the waiting room.

"Family of Lee Felix?" He called out. Changbin wanted to get up but Chan stopped him. "Let him sleep, I'll find out whats going on" Changbin nodded and gently stroked Hyunjin's hair.

"We are." Chan walked up to the doctor and motioned over to the others to identify the group.

"Felix is stable. You guys are lucky you brought him in when you did, his breathing was very low when he came in. We had to pump his stomach and he hasn't woken up yet but you guys can go in. Just keep it to 3 at a time please." Chan finally released his breath hearing that Felix would make it.

He turned and walked back toward the others, their faces riddled with fear.

"Felix is ok, we got to him in time. He said 3 of us can visit at a time..." he tapped Changbin and signaled him to wake up Hyunjin.

Changbin gently shook Hyunjin to wake him up. He slowly opened his eyes and groaned. Once he realized where he was he sat up.

"Felix?!"

"He's gonna be ok" Chan placed his hand on his shoulder. Hyunjin couldn't stop the tears and dropped his head in his hands.

"Come on, they said we could see him. He is still unconscious but they said he should wake up in about an hour." Chan looked to Minho who nodded at him.

"Let's go get some coffee and some snacks guys. I know we are all tired and want to be here when he wakes up." Minho grabbed Han's hand and signaled for the others to come with.

Chan, Changbin, and Hyunjin walked to Felix's room. He looked so peaceful laying there, little did they know this had been the most rest Felix had had in weeks.

Hyunjin came over to Felix's bedside and grabbed his hand.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you" he said while pressing his forehead to his hand intertwined with Felix's. Chan came over and rubbed Hyunjin's back.

The 3 boys sat by his side and waited for the angel to wake up.