Into the Deep End

Sweet Nothings

Hyunjin woke up first the next morning. He forgot about the previous night's events until he felt the warm presence of the angel laying beside him. Hyunjin's heart just hurt. All he wanted to do was to hold Felix right and never let go. He wishes he could smother him in love until all his pain went away but he knew that he had to keep his affection in check. He knew that if he got too close he wouldn't be able to say no like he did yesterday. He was terrified that he would move too fast with Felix before he was able to heal. It was just so hard because he loved Felix so much.

He didn't want to be selfish. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice Felix woke up and was looking right at him with sleepy eyes, still filled with dreams.

"Good morning Hyun" Felix said, his voice was strained and broken from the crying. "My head is killing me and my eyes burn" he groaned after a few seconds, reality having set in.

"Good morning" he gave Felix a gentle smile and crawled over him out of the bed. Felix looked at him longingly but pressed his head into the pillow with another groan.

Not long after Hyunjin came back with some eyedrops, some ibuprofen, and a glass of water. Felix gave Hyunjin puppy eyes which caused Hyunjin to have to hold back the desire to coo over his cute face.

"You always take care of me Jinnie. Thank you" Hyunjin couldn't stop himself anymore and kissed Felix on the forehead like a baby, causing him to giggle.

"And you repay me by trying to kill me? Stop being so cute" Felix blushed at the comment but was too wrapped up in his misery to say anything about it.

"Sorry..  force of habit. Did that go too far? I don't want to make you uncomfortable..." he rubbed the back of his neck.

"N-no it's ok. I'm just always shy about compliments from you. Always have been I guess." Felix smiled to reinsure Hyunjin.

"Well take your time getting ready and go take a shower, I'm sure it will make you feel better. I can make you a smoothie if you want?" Felix feverishly nodded but quickly squinted his face, the movement making his headache worse.

"Thanks Jinnie" Felix smiled brightly and Hyunjin left the room.

"Hey is everything ok with Lix..?" Chan asked as Hyunjin walked toward the kitchen to get the ingredients ready for the smoothie.

"He just had a rough day yesterday. He's not feeling the best this morning." Hyunjin's expression was sad, and he was sad. He really wants to be there for Felix and he would always do it in a heartbeat.

"And are you? Are you ok?" Chan followed up, looking intently at Hyunjin to catch any sign of a lie.

"Why are you asking me..? I'm fine" Hyunjin was confused by the question.

"I don't want to assume anything but it's gotta be hard man. After everything that happened I really admire you being there for him... but I don't want to forget that it has an impact on you too." Hyunjin froze with that statement. He could feel his own feelings that he had been shutting down coming to the surface.

"Don't worry about me. I need to be there for him right now." Hyunjin tried to convince Chan but he just looked at him with sympathy.

"You have been, and for that we are all super grateful. You can help Felix more than any of us can. But let us worry about and help you." With those words Hyunjin lost it. His eyes started to water and he looked down at the sink.

"He almost died Chan. I almost lost him last time I acted selfishly and worried about my feelings. He needs me to be there for him right now. I can give him that. I can worry about myself when he's ok" his voice broke while saying it and Chan immediately reacted. He stood up and grabbed Hyunjin into a hug.