More Than a Teacher - Ashton Irwin

38

*TW - abuse, SH

I can't see their faces but I know by their presence exactly who they are. Their presence is one that I will never forget. It's simply unforgettable after being plastered in my mind for years. The anxiety and pain they have caused and proceeded to give me is never going to be erased.

Things are intensely vivid.

He's hurting me. Badly.

I'm broken. My body is shattered. My leg is bruised and limp, the skin of my arm isn't even attached and I can't see out of my left eye as warm red blood trickles from down my face. Like something from a horror movie.

I'm breathing so hard that I feel like my lungs will blow out and deflate. I struggle for oxygen, my throat clamped tightly by his cold rough hand with pressure that has my vision fading black.

"D-dad," I whimper. "Let me go." My lip quivering as my one working eye tears up.

He's had enough this time. He's determined to end me this time.

Wake up, wake up. I say to myself.

But I can't wake up.

She holds my wrist out, flipping it so that the underside is facing up. My eyes exhaustedly look to the side where my mother holds a single blade.

"N-no," I choke out, shaking my head as my tears mix with the blood on my face.

"Should've done this a long time ago Ava," She seethes, bringing the razor blade closer to my pale skin. "You don't deserve happiness. Y'left us, y'stopped paying the bills, we had nothing to eat and you made us lose the fucking house!"

I flinch at her harsh tone. Horrible guilt washes over my body after finally doing something for myself, for taking care of myself. I feel guilty for saving myself. I deserve this pain. I really do. No matter what I seem to do, it's never right. I can't do anything right.

"Worthless. Do you know what that word means babygirl?" His gruff voice makes me nauseous and I would do anything for him to never call me that pet name again.

I nod at him, hissing as my so called mother runs the blade against my wrist, slicing my already scarred skin. I cry out in sheer pain. How could someone's mother ever do this to their child? How?

"Just some more scars to add to that impressive collection you've got." My father smirks as I choke out a sob.

The sharp sting repeats against my wrist and I just accept it. I accept the pain I feel and honestly, it makes me feel less guilty with every cut she creates. My dad's hand hits me across the face, his knuckles making imprints against my cheek as saliva falls from my mouth.

"End it, please." I plead, my whole body numb with so much pain and I just want it to all go away.

Through the blur of my vision, I see something in the distance as I glance over his shoulder. There's two distorted figures in the dark distance. My body uses all the energy left to scream out and get their attention. It's like they were in a totally different world though. My words aren't even heard by them.

Instead my father shoves me further into the wall and I feel something crack in my shoulder.

The two people in the distance seem as if they are in an altercation. It's not physical but it appears as if they're shouting at each other like they have all this built up anger. They are both men. Both awfully familiar men as my vision clears to be able to recognise them.

"You should cut yourself Ava. You deserve it." Her words echo in my mind as my attention remains on the two men.

One man I recognise to be Mr Neil Parker and the other man I recognise nearly makes me collapse to the floor.