More Than a Teacher - Ashton Irwin

58

I stand at the door watching Ash sleep. The only time he gets up is to use the bathroom but other then that he hasn't stepped foot out of Calum's room.

In the last twenty four hours I've built a tiny bit of courage to allow Calum's bedroom door to be left open. I've realized Ashton is no threat. The only person he's a threat to is himself.

He has been asleep from the moment he got home. He hasn't moved from bed for any other reason and even Calum had to poke him a few times to make sure he was still alive. Any noise, cough, groan or snore that came from the room, Calum shot up straight away to go check on him. Cal has tried to get him to eat and shower but Ash would only grunt and roll over.

It's not healthy at all and if he stays like this for any longer we might be up for a trip to the hospital after Skye said she wasn't able to make a trip up from Melbourne just yet. She sounded so heartbroken hearing that her brother is struggling and that she's not able to miss her exams and assignments to see him.

I really need her. We've never personally met before but I'm so drawn to her because of her comforting and loving nature. I feel like we'd make good friends.

Although I originally thought bringing Skye here would help Ash out, I feel like he'd only become irritated and annoyed that I'd brought her into it. He's probably quite embarrassed too. I can't imagine feeling too happy and proud after relapsing. He's probably ashamed and I'm sure when he comes to his senses he'll be beating himself up about it. I just have to try my best to be there for him. I guess that's all I can do at this point. I can't force him to do anything, the ball is in his court and it's up to him to pull himself out of this hole.

But before all that, We have to be able to openly speak to each other like we used to, or even start by saying a few words. We haven't spoken in almost a month and to be quite frank, I don't really know how to go about it or what to say. I don't know if I even want to say anything.

Do I apologize? Do I forget about it? Do I ask him if he's ok? Do I just leave it and wait for him to make the first move? How the fuck am I supposed to approach this?

I wish someone would just tell me what to do or even better, a life handbook with instructions to every life situation and crisis you can think of. What if I do or say the wrong thing? I'm scared of how he may react because the Ashton I saw last night isn't the Ashton I know and love.

My best and probably safest bet is to wait until he fully wakes up or gets out of the bedroom.
I'm aware he's exhausted from whatever he's been doing these past three weeks and it could take days for him to move but I'm willing to wait if it saves me trouble.

Man, I wasn't even out on the town and I'm exhausted.

Unfortunately the relief of having him safe at home also brings some unwanted yet predictable surprises. He hasn't said anything to Cal and I so it's been up to us to try and connect the dots and work out what he's been doing. Earlier today Calum told me he had found pills in Ashtons pocket along with some cigarettes as he went to wash his clothes. Although we expected it, it still felt like a punch to the gut.

What was even worse was the fact he was missing for three weeks and what was found was probably only a couple of days worth, leaving Calum and I doubtful that those tiny pills and cigarettes are all he's had. I mean the state he was in when he got dragged inside, he'd have to be mixing a range of drugs.

It's a bit disheartening and sad that this is where it's ended up. I wish I told him about the messages earlier because it's not worth this pain I've put him through. For all I know I could have just ruined the rest of his life. He may not ever be able to sober up again or what if he never comes out of his drugged up state? I've heard people can become permanently brain damaged.