Forever and Always

Chapter 20: Final Chapter

Calum and I couldn't sleep so we went down to the lobby so we didn't have to be quiet or hear snoring. We were on the couch wrapped in each other's arms. I look at the lobby and wonder when I'm going to tell Calum what I saw. My thoughts were interrupted when the desk manager came over, "I'm sorry, but I think you should go back to your room."

"Okay, we'll leave. Sorry." I spoke as Calum and I stood up and walked over to the doors to the outdoor pool.

"So... Why did you run off during the concert?"

"It's a longish story Calum."

"Well, lucky for us, we have time." I rolled my eyes at his comment and then look down, I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I really didn't want to cry so I pushed them back as I could, "Come on El, you know you can trust me." he said as he moved in front of me and pulled my chin up with his finger and hugged me.

"At the concert, you were talking about us. And when I looked into the crowd, I could see posters, faces and out of everything I saw three familiar faces. Those three faces... they were-" I interrupted myself saying, "I really don't want to talk about this Cal."

"Please I can't fix your wound if I don't see it... Please El." Calum said giving an example of the situation.

"The two girls... they were my sisters. Julia and Mackayla. And this little girl standing in front of them was Hannah, she was crying her eyes out."

Calum gasps and holds me tighter, "They're in your past now don't worry about them okay. They are worth nothing."

"I know, but Hannah crying, it made me breakdown. I hadn't seen her since I was 13 and now she's grown up and it looked like she was miserable. Like she didn't want to be there." I finally couldn't hold back my tears, and sobbed into Calum's shirt and I couldn't stop.

"I don't know what to say Ellie."

"THERE ISN'T ANYTHING TO DO CALUM! It was all they could do to make me break down. I can't take it anymore. They haunt me when I sleep and know they're back to make my nightmares a reality."

"El, can I be honest with you?"

"Yea." I speak quietly.

"There's nothing that could keep me from you. Your sisters can go to hell for all I care! No matter what, nothing will be able to separate you from me."

"You know, nothing except for you touring halfway around the world." I ruined the moment... damn it.

"I was trying to forget that Ellie." Calum stood up and left the pool.

I got up and went back to the hotel room, I heard Calum in the shower so I quickly wrote a note.

'I'm sorry, I can't take this anymore. I don't know when I'll see you again, or if I'll ever see you again. I'm so sorry.
-Ellie'

I left the note on the nightstand next to the lamp and left the hotel room. I walked out of the hotel and realized that I left my phone. At least I won't hear from anyone, I just need time to think. My world was at its peak, but everything got in the way. I'm weak. I can't take this anymore, I can't take my sisters, or my boyfriend.

Calum was all I really had, besides Jessie and Sarah, and newly found Blade. But, I left them all. I walked through the streets of LA with tears slowly rolling off the brim of my eyelids. So many girls past me and whispered to their best friend talking about how I'm a mess or a total wreck and need help.

I found a park and sat on the swing set. Damn I hate this feeling, I practically ran away from anything that could help me. But I have to forget that. I looked at the city, the lights, the cars passing by, and a few stars in the sky that barely twinkled compared to the city lights. I'm still in tears, what am I going to do? I have have to go back, I have to talk to someone or at least find someone.

I got up and I'm making my way back to the hotel. I'm in fear that they won't be there, or that this is all a horrible dream. I'm watching all of the cars pass by and all the people that pass by me on the sidewalk. But, nothing compares to looking at this huge hotel and the door I don't want to open.

But I have to.

I took a deep breath and opened it, I walked in and went to the floor we were on. The only thing I had with me was the key, luckily. I walked in and they were all sound asleep, the note laid exactly where I had left it. I grabbed my phone and my shoulder bag then left the room once more, this time I left the key next to the note.

I got a few feet away from the door and collapsed to my knees. What am I doing?! I picked myself up and kept walking.

I left the hotel and walked down the streets of LA once again. I crossed streets and lights. I had stopped crying, but still had the occasional sniffle. Cars passed by, one by one, until one pulled over.

•

A/N:
End of Book 1!!!
The sequel is called Forever and Never.
I really hope you liked this one. Feel free to comment, favorite, or best of all share this book with anyone! I can't tell you how much I loved writing this story.
I want you to know, that I enjoy writing this story because parts of it are intertwined with my life. My two older adopted sisters left and dropped out of school, they haunt me day and night, and I just want to forget about them Part of this story's past is my past, I just broadened it a bit by saying they took my youngest adopted sister.

I don't know if it's the same for you, but 5 Seconds of Summer has helped me with my past. That's why I love them so much, they have the ability to change my mood easily. And no matter what, if someone puts you down for liking them, keep your head held high.

I shared part of my past to show others that they aren't alone. Don't forget that I will always love. You need to stay strong, keep smiling, and I know you'll be okay.

If you don't believe me, hear it from the boys themselves and YouTube:
5 Seconds of Summer Talking About Self Harm
Maybe you don't self harm, but the end part isn't just for self harmers.

If you ever need to talk to anyone, just talk to me, my Instagram is:
Baylie.Rose14
Feel free to DM me, I don't always respond right away, but I will try my best to be there for you.

-Baylie <3