Second Chances

Part 20

What the fuck did that mean? Kiyoi stiffened, the afterglow fading quickly. What the fuck did Hira mean by he liked pain? "Hira, I don't understand." He struggled to sit up, but Hira held him firmly. In fact, he was positive the hold Hira had now, was even tighter than before! "Hira!" Oh fucking hell, why did that sound like a god damn moan?

He heard, from Hira's chest, more than his voice, the deep rumble. "Kiyoi, what do you think loving some is?" 

His heart stumbled, his breathing stilled. There was that damn side of Hira again, the one which scared him, it was deeper than the ocean. "Hira?" He felt the rise and fall of even breathing, as his arms relaxed but not tight enough for any space between their nude bodies. He shifted and stilled, as he felt Hira begin to harden. 

Already??? Fuck! Distracted, he almost missed what Hira said.

"I loved you the moment I looked into your eyes, Kiyoi. You blessed me, you see, save me from that god awful introduction at the start of our final year." His hand kept caressing his bare back. He shivered slightly, not from the cold, but from arousal. Who knew?

"I always knew it was going to be one sided, so I never saw anything else. It never even occurred to me that someone could love me, want to be with me. I'd been abandoned too often, hurt too much." Hira was only stating facts, nothing more. "I had no friends."

Kiyoi closed his eyes against the tears that formed. He knew how that felt, too well. Surrounded by acquaintances, always used, then dropped the moment he moved. The loneliest pretty boy in Tokyo. His nails dug into Hira's flanks, not liking to remember those times.

"I never minded being teased by those boys, or being the runner for the others, because I spent more time with YOU!" Hira paused, knowing it was time to talk. Kiyoi was his heart. "Then, you told me to keep the change, and wouldn't let anyone else outside your friend group use me. I put you on a pedestal, Kiyoi. Now, I understand."

He felt Hira drop his head on his shoulder, his hands caressing his chest, roaming freely, such a light touch, distracting from the constant rumble of his voice. "It's that damn piece of paper, you know. That A..a...s.s.s.sperger's thing. I know you know. Did you look it up?"

Kiyoi gave a slight nod. Hira sighed. "Good, then I don't have to say anything. I haven't practiced the words. I wouldn't say them right. H...h..hyper focus." English was easier than Japanese for some words, but Hira still stumbled. "I'm not a genius, that way, even if my IQ is high, I just focus, and the two things I needed were my camera and you." 

"My camera stopped people from seeing me." Why was his hand doing that? Kiyoi shivered as his hand stopped at his belly button, his index finger drawing circles, taking part of his attention away from his words. He'd heard this before, said in different words. "You were a god, but not. You were touchable and not. Still, for someone like me, completely unreachable. So I put you on a pedestal and just worshipped." His finger, drawing those small circles, dipping in and out, caused his belly to contract, and his abs to appear. 

"HIra, what are you trying to say?" Kiyoi shifted, and now he knew for sure. Hira was hard as stone. His member, with it's wet tip, rubbed against his thigh. He suppressed his moan and curiosity at the same time. 

A slight shrug, which was clearly conveyed. "It's simple. I will eat all the pain, Kiyoi, so you don't have to. I will bear all the marks on my body, proudly, because you gave them to me." Now, Hira swung Kiyoi to face him. "Together, we will learn from each other, no matter how long it takes, because I love you, beautiful."

"Stop calling me beautiful!" Kiyoi punched him lightly, his face blushing. He couldn't look him in his eyes, so black they were. Now, in this position, he couldn't avoid the fact that Hira was hard again and he was staring directly at it.