Never Ends ; Sequel to Never Ending Love

Chapter 16

*RACHELS POV*

I was on my phone scrolling through Twitter and looking at my feed. I kept on seeing comments that made me feel insecure like:

'she's to ugly to date Cameron'

'she's to ugly and gross to be in Magcon'

'she doesn't deserve to be by the boys. she deserves to be by a trash can'

'she can't sing to save her life'

'maybe quit your dreams because you suck'

First, I'm not even with Cameron. Second, none of them even know me personally. That's when I got up and went to go around and explore. I told Amy, our manager that I didn't feel well so she gave me a day off to relax, but I still had to go and support the boys. And it's true, I didn't feel good at all. Cameron was confusing me in the worst way possible. I felt like I was gonna puke and I was burning up.

I ran to the nearest bathroom and everything I had in me came out. It was probably just a bug. Once I'm done, I rinse out my mouth and plop 2 pieces of mint gum in my mouth. I wash my hands and walk out of the bathroom.

I start to explore a bit, getting stopped by some fans of course. I've been thinking a lot and I hope Cameron chooses me. He needs to realize Andrea is wrong. If only he could see that. If only he could see what I see. Look into my eyes, and you will see that Andrea doesn't say who she think she is. If only he could realize that. Everything Cameron and I had, could come down to in end. And I'm scared to think that could be the best for the both of us. It's a scary thing. I mean, do I really love Cameron? Like really. I don't think I even know what love is. All I know, love is a powerful thing. It conquers everything. Good or bad.

I make my way down a hallway and I see Andrea and Cameron. They aren't doing anything, just talking. I decided I should sneak up on them. I crouched down a chair, along the hallway and peeked my eyes to see what was going on.

"Hey, baby! Surprise!" Andrea yells.

I roll my eyes as they continue to speak.

"Andrea, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in California?" Cameron asks.

"I finished early and I thought I would come down and surprise you." She says.

"You didn't have to come." Cameron said.

"But I did." She says, grabbing his hand.

Cameron grabs Andrea's face and kisses her with so much passion. They deepen the kiss more and I'm standing there frozen. It made me feel sick even more since I puked not even 10 minutes ago. A few tears slipped down. I guess he chooses Andrea. I get up from the chair and run. Luckily, they didn't see me because they were to into the kiss.

I'm done.

I'm leaving.

I run to the side of the stage and I see Shawn. I catch my breathe before I speak or do anything.

"Shawn, I'm leaving."

"What? Why??" He says.

I put my hands in my hair.

"I'm tired, Shawn." I say. "I'm just done."

"When are you leaving?" He asks.

"Right now. I got a cab to take me to the hotel to get my things. My flight leaves tonight. Please don't tell Cameron." I say.

He pulls me into a hug as I put tears stains on his shirt. I chuckle as his shirt is all wet.

"I'll see you soon, okay?" I say.

He nods.

I walk off and go outside. People may think I'm running away from my problems, but I'm tired of running. That's all I do is run. It's obvious Cameron doesn't want anything to do with me because I watched him kiss Andrea. Cameron chose who he wanted and I'm gonna have to learn and except that. It's his decision.

The cab pulls up and I slide through the door.

"Where to, miss?" The cab driver says.

"Mary Grand Hotel, please."

Soon after, I get off the cab and got to the hotel room. I unlock it and pack everything up. I turn towards the mirror and look at myself, my self esteem is a zero. Things just happen. On the desk, I see Nash's video camera. I don't hesitate to grab it. I set it up and sit on the bed as it records me. I start to cry as I speak.

"You know, life itself is so hard to me right now. I've tried so hard to make my life good as possible. I failed like I do with everything else. I'm just a big screw up." I fake a laugh and cry as I continue. "I thought I would I have a chance with him. I was wrong. Because who would wanna date a girl like me? I sure wouldn't. You are probably watching this right now and wondering why I'm making this video. Well, these are the things that have been bottled up inside me for so long and it's hard to tell you guys in person. Because pretending not to love you was the hardest thing I've ever done. To think, I will never know how far we could of gone. I will never see all the places we could have been. I will never feel your hands intertwine with mine. I will never hear your breathy 'I love you' caressing my ear. I will never taste your lips on mine. But worst of all, I will never understand why you left me. Right when things were going my way. Our way. Because it's the things we love most that destroys us in the end.. But don't worry because I'll survive. Somehow I always do. Sometimes you have to let people go because they are toxic to you. Let them go because they take and take and leave you empty. Let them go because in the ocean of life when all you're trying to do is stay afloat, they are the anchor that is drowning you. I really need to expect less from people. Because it only hurts when you start pretending it doesn't. You are like a whole freaking ocean and I am a tiny raindrop and I will never be good enough for you. After everything, all you have is yourself. It's so freaking twisted, you know. This whole 'love' thing. Like really? You fall in love and you literally fall. You crash to the ground and I swear to god all your bones break. You're shattered but you don't notice because you got this beautiful boy loving you and you think nothing else matters. But then he leaves and you suddenly feel it. You feel everything. And you are crying your eyes out, praying for another shot with him. You try to hold your bones together but his old t-shirts don't work as a cast, wrapping them around your chest won't fix the craters in your ribs. Nothing stops the aching. After you left, it was so hard. Being secretly in love with you was like being part of a solar system, because you're the sun and technically I could literally be any planet since they all revolve around you anyway, but for now I'll just say I'm probably like Pluto or something, because you always seem so far away and on those odd days when you seem closer, I start to get into my own space and it's like I don't even exist anymore. I just never could grip why it always seems like I'm spinning in circles around you, shifting and tilting and rotating all out of orbit trying to connect the stars and either seal or our fate or find the fault... But now I think its adding up. Maybe I'm Pluto and you're really the 3 planets down from the sun, because you are so down to Earth, and we're from two separate worlds. Or, maybe I'm more like the moon-and you're the sun-and our fate is sealed in our make, forever yearning, separate but one. What I'm trying to say, I'm done with trying. I'm just done completely. I can't try anymore. Goodbye, Cameron."

Once I click the button to stop the recording, I cry so hard. I set the camera down on the bed so they can notice it clearly. I grab my suitcase and wipe my tears as I plaster a fake smile into the mirror. I've been really good at that lately. I grab my suitcase and walk to the door. I turn the knob and walk out of it. I take one last glimpse in the room before I leave.

Be careful who you think you can trust these days, the devil was once an angel.