Start Over

4

Y/n | New York

April 5th, 2019

"Aunt Y/n!" Destiny yelled as I walked through Nas's house. I chuckled and hugged my nineteen year old niece. "Hey Destiny" I told her. I moved from her embrace and dapped up Nas who was sitting in the corner watching. "Wassup baby cuz" he said to me. "Wassup old head" I said to him jokingly earning a giggle from Destiny. He pushed me and I laughed out loud.

I moved to the couch and sat on it. "So how long you staying?" He asked me. "Only for three days. I told Beau I would go visit him and Mama back home then I gotta fly back to L.A" I told him and he nodded. Destiny had left Nas and I in the living room as she went up to her room.

"How you holding up?" He asked me. I shrugged, "I don't even know man. Shit, it's been fourteen years already." I chuckled bitterly as tears welled in my eyes. I placed my hands over my eyes, hating that I was crying around him. I hated crying, it made me feel like I wasn't in control of my emotions.

I felt Nas throw his arm over my shoulder and pull me close to him. "You can cry Y/n, you ain't there no more" he told me. I shook my head and composed myself. "I just wish I could see her one more time y'know?" I said to him and he nodded, rubbing my shoulder. "Y'know, I saw Kelly the other day" I told him and paused. "She wants me to come around Mama T's house. I think they be doing something to honor her on both days" I told him. "Maybe you should. It could bring you some relief that they still celebrate her" he told me.

I groaned and stood up, "I thought about it but, what if I see her again?" I said to him in a small voice. He sighed and stood up, putting his hands on my shoulders. "Y/n, so what if you see her? You told me when y'all broke up, you held no resentment towards her. I personally don't know why because if it was Carmen and I in your situation, she would have been dead to me. But, I guess because you still love her, you forgave her and I get that. But, both of y'all lost her. Not just you or not just her. So, I do think y'all should actually talk and get some closure" he told me.

I listened to his words in slight disbelief. "Did the nigga with the failed marriage and the daughter who he's just now building a relationship with just give me advice?" I asked. He sucked his teeth and pulled me into a headlock. I laughed and easily pulled myself out of his grasp, pushing him back onto the couch.

He sat there heavily breathing, "yeah, yo fat ass gained all that dad weight and can't even hold yo own against ya lor cousin" I taunted and he waved me off, "yeah ight" he told me as he sat back up.

I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket. I pulled it out to see it was an incoming FaceTime call from Kelly. I walked towards the backyard and slid it open before stepping out and closing it back. I sat in one of the lawn chairs before answering it.

"Sup?" I asked when her face popped up on the screen. "Y/nn, I have a serious question" she told me. I raised my eyebrow in question. "So like...I may or may have not slipped to mama that we were talking and now she's demanding that you come see her. Do you know when you can come over so she doesn't kill me?" She rambled. I shook my head with a small chuckle, "well, I'm in New York visiting my cousin right now and then I'm going to go down to see my best friend back home. I won't be back in L.A until Thursday. I'll try and come the weekend if my hours at the hospital die down" I told her.

I knew Kelly's big mouth ass was going to snitch. Hell, she was the one that told Mama T when Bey was pregnant.

"After all these years, you still can't hold a cup of damn water" I told her and she rolled her eyes, "it was an accident. We were talking about Mookie and you and Bey and it slipped out. How are you holding up anyway?" She asked me with sincerity shown in her eyes. I shrugged, "just pushing through foreal. Have you um...have you talked to her?" I asked her hesitantly. She nodded, "yeah, she came over but quickly disappeared claiming she went to the studio" she told me with a sigh. I bit my lip. I hated that she was dealing with this on her own.

We talked for a bit before she needed to tend to Titan before hanging up. I laid back decided to scroll through instagram. Coincidentally, a picture of Beyoncé popped up on my feed causing me to squeeze my hand into a fist tightly to keep my feeling down.

Holy fuck. She definitely gained some mommy weight after she had Akira but she looks extra slim thick now. I'm assuming this is all that work she put it after having her second daughter. I liked the pic, no shame in my game from loving my babymomma and her amazing body.

I stood up, sliding my phone into my back pocket and went back into the house to enjoy my time with my family, deciding to use that as a distraction from thinking of the two most important people in my life.

______________
Hi lovelies 🫶🏾.
A little filler until shit starts to develop 🙃.
Don't forget, Nas is gonna be a real valuable character so don't push him into the background just yet 😅.
Enjoy n comment n all that 🤸🏾‍♀️.