Start Over

6

Just to be clear of the dates so y'all don't get confused, Akira's original birthday is March 25th, 2005. She was kidnapped April 5th, 2007. The birthday she thinks she has is April 1st, 2005. According to Kanye and Kim*

Beyoncé | Los Angeles

"Yes, Yes I'm sorry mama. I just been working so much on this Coachella performance and I needed to handle some things. I promise I'll be there this weekend" I spoke to my mother on the phone as I sat with Blue to tame her curly crown. "You better Giselle. I don't like how you ran off the other day. We do this every year to celebrate her and I wanted you to stay" she told me.

I sighed, perching my phone on my shoulder to hold it against my ear, "You know how much that date hurts me mama. No matter how long it's been. I'm even worse on her birthday so I saved y'all the misery of watching me crumble again like I do every year" I told her with slight annoyance as I accidentally brushed Blue's hair a bit rough causing her to flinch. "Sorry baba" I muttered. "I know bey. Nobody expects you to be fine with loosing your daughter for fourteen years" she told me.

I tried to hold back tears as I finished putting Blue's hair in her puff and turned her to look at me while I fixed her baby hairs. Looking at Blue's little face, she looked so much like Shawn. Much like Akira and her scary resemblance to Y/n. When Akira was born, she had Y/n's whole face with tiny aspects of me in her appearance. Much like Blue. Blue also looked like Solange as she got older which made me happy that my family's genes were still prominent.

Does Akira look more like me or like Y/n?

I still felt it in my heart that my baby was alive. I didn't know where but I just felt it. I never gave up hope that she was alive. Every year I would check in with the private investigator that I hired to see if they found any leads on her case but every year, they came up with nothing. Nonetheless, I still kept my faith that she was alive.

I shook the thoughts away and stood up, putting Blue's hair stuff back into the bin. "All done baba. Go grab your bag so we can get to rehearsals" I told my five year old. She nodded and ran off to do what I said. I placed the phone on speaker as I moved to put the bin back in the bathroom.

"I just want to see her again Mama" I told her. I heard her sigh as I walked back into my bedroom, "we all do baby. We all do. Just promise me you'll be here this weekend?" She asked. "I promise mama. I'll make sure my schedule is cleared" I told her as I put my heals on. "Okay, I love you JuJu. And tell Blue that I love her too and I'll see you soon" she told me. I slung my purse over my shoulder and smiled, "I love you too mama. And I'll tell her. See you later" I told her and hung up.

I walked downstairs to see Blue sitting in the living room playing on her IPad. I got a text from Julius telling me he was out front with our driver so I walked to the front door.

"Let's go Blue, Ju is outside" I told her. She hopped up and took my hand as we both walked out of the car. I locked my house door just as Blue ran towards the car where Julius helped her into her car seat and strapping her in. Julius did the same for me, helping me into this big ass truck and shut the door. Julius got into the passenger seat of the car as our driver began to drive to the dance studio.

***

"Thanks Ju" I told him as he helped me out the car. I turned back to get Blue from her seat and held her in my arms as Julius now escorted us into the building.

We walked through the halls of the studio and I pushed the door open, sitting Blue down on the ground and letting her run to the herd of female dancers. I walked towards Jaquel who was sitting with my production team and sat in the chair near them.

"Someone's tired" he said to me and I gave him a fake smile, "nah I'm good. I could run a marathon" I told him sarcastically.

I was in the process of rehearsing my Coachella performance. Given that the actual performance was set to begin next weekend, I still promised Mama that I would see her before everything got hectic next week.

I leaned back in my chair and sighed out as I watched everyone do the show full out. Between the band and their synchronized movements with the female and male dancers, I just knew this performance was going to be amazing. I was also the first black woman to be headlining Coachella so I just had to be my top notch extra self and give people their moneys worth.

We had been practicing for almost three hours straight when we decided to go on a lunch break. I asked my assistant Kiana to go and grab Blue and I some lunch from somewhere as everyone else dispersed.

"Oh Bey, we wanted to show you this" Armon, one of my vocal producers told me. I turned my head with a raised eyebrow, "show me what?" I asked. "This girls cover has been trending all on twitter. The way her voice sounds so much like yours is insane" he expressed, handing me his phone as an angelic voice played on the studio's speakers. The mystery girl was singing Broken Hearted Girl and it was sung with so much raw emotion that nearly brought tears to my eyes.

Who was this girl and why does she sound so...broken?

"Who is she?" I asked him when the video ended. He shrugged, "I don't know. Nobody does. She makes sure every part of her is hidden beside her voice but god I wished we could see her" he told me. Honestly, I was intrigued. This girl...I don't even know her age but she sounded so hurt. You don't need to see her to know that since her voice clearly showed it. I felt this overwhelming feeling of—something. Something I can't explain honestly.

When lunch break was over, we went right back at it. I was trying to not go too hard on my team but I get a little crazy when it comes to my performances.

When we finished, it was nearing eight pm. I dismissed everyone and told them I would see them on Monday, letting everyone rest for the weekend. I took a sleeping Blue into my arms and walked out of the building of course with Julius following closely behind, darting his eyes left and right. When Blue and I were safely inside of the car, it was smoothing sailing and comfortable silence from until we got to my house.

When we got there, I got out and took Blue, thanking Julius and my driver on the way out. When I got into the house, I threw my heals off at the front and put Blue on the couch, taking her jacket off before taking my own and putting them into the hallway closet. I lifted Blue back into my arms and walked the long ass walk up to her room.

I moved quickly to run the bath water for Blue and getting her pajamas out. When the water was fine, I stripped Blue of her clothes and got her into the bath. At this point, she was half awake but she was still coherent enough to lift her head when I told her to so I could scrub her neck. When I finished, I drained the tub and wrapped her into a fluffy towel. I dried her off and put lotion all over her before helping her put her clothes on. When she was dressed, I instructed her to go brush her teeth while I threw her dirty clothes into the hamper.

She came back into the room and got into bed. I laid next to her softly and she laid her head on my chest.

"Mommy?" She asked with a yawn. "Yes baba?" I responded. "Did my big sister look like me?" She asked. I bit my lip, "I don't know baba. She looked like her mama as a baby. She might look a little like you as she's older" I told her, brushing my hand on her back. "How old would she be now?" She asked. "16, her birthday was a few weeks ago" I told her, refraining from crying. Blue yawned and smushed her head into my shoulder, "I wish I could see her. It would be fun to have a big sister to play with" she told me, slowly drifting to sleep. I sighed and wiped my fallen tear, pulling her close to me.

"So do I baby Blue, so do I"

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Hi lovelies 🫶🏾.
The way I've come up with a new tactic of writing on chapter and putting out another has made me more efficient. Like, I have up to page 14 written rn n I wanna drop them all but I like keeping y'all waiting 💀.
Enjoy n comment n all that 🤸🏾‍♀️.