Start Over

9

Beyoncé | Los Angeles

"Angie you must want to fight. Ain't nobody ducking you, I've just been busy trying to get this performance together. You know I'm a perfectionist" I mugged my cousin. She crossed her arms, "obviously you are ducking us because you dipped out on us on her birthday and on her anniversary and used that same excuse!" She told me.

I bit my lip to refrain from lashing out on her. Not because she was wrong but, because she was right.

As promised, here I am at Mama's house. Everyone was here and by everyone I mean me, Kelly, Solange, Angie, Julez, Titan, Blue, Michelle, Latoya, Lativia, Richard, and Tim. I knew everyone was going to be on my head about how I acted and I was expecting Solange to slap me once I walked through the door but surprisingly, she didn't.

"Cut it out Angie. She's here now that's all that matters. And cut her some slack, how would you feel if you were in her shoes? It's not like she can grieve to the public. It hurts much more to do it in private so leave her be" Mama scolded her. "Thank you Mama" I gave her a grateful smile. "Yeah whatever" she said with a chuckle. I knew she didn't really mean no harm with her words, just expressing her feelings on my actions.

"It's crazy how Mookie and Julez are only a year apart. They would have been partners in crime tearing this place down" Solo chuckled. I chuckled, "yeah, I bet. They were already at it when they were younger. Just imagine now" I told her with a sad smile. "Did they find any leads this year?" Latoya asked me. I shook my head, "no, they don't even know if she's in L.A. they think her kidnappers moved her to another state which makes her case ten times harder" I told them.

No matter how long it's been, I still feel my heart breaking into one thousand tiny pieces every time I talk about her. Every time I look at Blue's baby pictures, I see Akira's whole face. Every time I think of the last era in Destiny's Child, I just think of her.

And Y/n.

Sighing, I stood up from the couch. "I'm gonna get some air" I told them. Mama chose to come with me and I let her. Even if I told her no she would have smacked me and came out anyway. We both walked out onto the porch and Mama turned me to face her.

"Have you been getting enough sleep?" She asked me. I looked past her, avoiding her eyes. No matter how old I get, I could never lie to her straight to her face. That's like asking for a death wish to a black country mother. "Bey?" She asked me sternly and I sighed, "I mean not as much as I would like but enough to keep me going for the day" I told her. She smacked her lips, "that doesn't work for me Beyoncé, you could sleep for only thirty minutes and still have enough energy for an entire two hour concert. You need to rest bey" she told me.

I was about to say something when I heard an engine rev up. I turned my head to see an all black Maybach parked in front of the house. The windows weren't that tinted so I could see a figure sitting there.

"You expecting someone Mama?" I asked her. She nodded and I watched the person get out and walk around the car. They were too far from the house to see who it was but Mama smiled and walked around me and carefully walked down the steps to greet the person. As they got closer, my eyebrows grew close together.

I know that ain't...

"The hell?" I said to myself. I watched the two walk up the steps.

"Y/n?" I asked in slight disbelief. "Hey Bey" she told me, shuffling her hands into her pants pockets. Mama seen our awkwardness and decided to break it. "Stop acting like y'all just met, hug one another damn!" She exclaimed. Y/n chuckled and walked forward, slightly opening her arms. I took the hint and stepped into her embrace and hugged her tight.

Damn, I haven't had her hugs in years and it still gave me that same tingling feeling that she always gave me.

"How have you been?" I asked her softly when we pulled away. Only then I realized Mama had went back inside. She did this shit on purpose. "I've been good, what about you?" She asked me. I shrugged, "I've been okay" I told her. "Yeah, I'm-I'm sorry I didn't call you y'know. I should have on her birthday and a few days ago but..." she trailed off but I shook my head, "it's okay, I should've done the same" I told her, looking down.

Andddd we're back to the awkwardness.

"I heard you're doing Coachella next week" she told me with a small smile. I nodded, "yeah" I told her. "I'm proud of you. The first black woman to do it" she told me and I smiled, "thank you" I told her. "No problem. Imma come out and support you" she told me and I looked at her surprised, "really?" I asked her. She nodded, "yeah, of course" she told me. I nodded. Before I could say anything, Kelly out and her loud ass pushed me to the side and hugged Y/n.

"Sister in law" Kelly said to her. I rolled my eyes and Y/n chuckled, hugging her back. "Wassup forehead" she told Kelly who pushed her away. Y/n laughed before moving to open the house door, holding it open for Kelly and I, gesturing for us to go inside. We both thanked her and we all walked into the family room the whole room got quiet when they saw Y/n.

Y/n fixed her hat before standing slightly behind me. Her ass was tall as fuck, she had a big ass growth spurt in fourteen years.

"Hey y'all" she greeted them. "Is that my sister in law?" Solange said getting up. "Sup Solo" she said to my little sister who got up and hugged her before punching her in her chest. Y/n didn't flinch though, almost like she was expecting it. "I knew that was coming" she said causing everyone to laugh. I moved to the couch as they continued to talk, "I should have punched you in the face, why'd it take you fourteen years to come show your face?" She asked Y/n who shrugged, "it wasn't intentional, I got a new job and stuff happened" she said looking guilty.

I knew that was a lie. She couldn't face us since she felt guilty. Much like I did but I didn't press her or say anything about it.

"Leave her alone" I told Solange. She rolled her eyes and sat on the other couch as Y/n sat next to me. I stayed quiet as Y/n caught up with everyone. I didn't feel like talking so I just listened.

It surprised me how Y/n wasn't angry with me when we first talked. I swear I thought she hated my guts for the way I treated her all those years ago that's why I was afraid to reach out and talk to her. There is so much I want to tell her but I know none of that will change what I did.

The noise of children's feet brought me out of my thoughts. Titan ran straight for Y/n causing me raise my eyebrows and hold Blue in my arms when she hopped on my lap.

"Sup little man" she said to Titan who dapped her up. "Sup" the three year old told Y/n. I watched Julez eye Y/n. "Julez, this is Y/n. She's close to us and she knew you when you were a baby. You were like three the last time you saw her though" Kelly told her. He gave her a head nod which Y/n returned. "She also knew your cousin" Solange told him causing him to raise his eyebrows, "you knew Akira?" He asked Y/n causing Blue to turn her head at the mention of her sister's name.

Y/n nodded, "yeah, something like that" she told him. Blue shuffled in my lap, "you knew my big sister?" Blue asked her causing Y/n to turn her head and her eyes went wide. I knew she had that reaction since Blue had similar features of Akira. Y/n looked at me with questioning eyes and I nodded, "yeah, she's my daughter" she told Blue.

I bit my lip just as Julez let out an 'oh crap'

God, could this day get anymore emotional?

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Hi lovelies 🫶🏾.
Just a heads up, everything is gonna start moving fast lmaooo.
I am gonna double update today bc I feel like it, not bc y'all deserve it so be grateful 😤.
Enjoy n comment n all that 🤸🏾‍♀️