girl next door ☆ c. sturniolo

0.3 sipping on a cherry coke

8 pm was approaching fast, and Addie couldn't stop pacing. She was slowly losing her mind, thinking of every possible outcome of the night. She picked up a can of cherry coke, taking a sip. Her dad couldn't find her preferred cherry pepsi, so cherry coke it is.

Addie's anxiety was getting to her, running through every possible outcome. What if they find everything out and still resent her? What if they never forgive her? What if they forgive her, how is she supposed to forgive herself? She doesn't know if they're good people anymore, because she was certain she wasn't a good person. Not anymore.

Addie was interrupted with her self decrypting thoughts by her mom shouting her name. She immediately checks the time, surprised to see it was 8:02. Addie sucked in a deep breath, double checking that her inhaler was in her sweatpants pocket. Addie trudged down the stairs, the anxiety sneaking its way into her chest, making it seem heavier than it was moments ago.

'It's so good to see all of you again!" Her mother cheered, pulling them each into a bone crushing hug. "You're all so much better than the friends Addie had a few months ago..." Her mom trailed off, making Addie's eyes widen.

"Mom, please." She sighed, wrapping her arms around herself, seeking comfort. She didn't need her mom airing her dirty laundry before she had the chance to explain herself.

"I'm sorry honey but it's true." Her mom replied, turning to look at her daughter, noticing the bloodshot eyes and the anxious state her daughter was currently in. "Are you? Um.."

Addie scoffed, feeling the anger at her mothers assumption, shooting up her arms and making her warmer. "No, I'm not high." She grumbles before looking to who she used to call her best friends. "Is the basement okay?" They nodded silently, feeling uncomfortable.

Addie led the way, as if they didn't know where it was at. Addie's basement was their usual hangout place growing up. Her parents weren't always home in the afternoon, so it was the best place to go and be as loud as they wanted without risking disturbing anyone else.

The triplets and Alahna sat in their usual spots on the couch and loveseat they always kept down there, while Addie usually sat in between Chris and Nick, she opted to stand. She began pacing, her mind not being able to let go of what her mother had just said.

"So..." Matt trailed off, breaking the awkward silence and cutting off Addie's pacing.

"Right," Addie sighed, running a hand through her hair trying to ground herself. "I'm kinda all over the place so if you guys could ask questions, that would be great." She plopped herself down in her fathers recliner after she turned it to face them.

"Did you miss us?" Alahana asked quietly, playing with her fingers. Nick noticed and quickly interlaced his fingers with hers, stopping the nervous tick.

"Yes," Addie immediately answered, frowning. "I have missed all of you since the second I left. But when I decided I wanted to reach out, too much had changed. I had changed, and I was terrified none of you would recognize who I had become." Addie spoke, standing still so she could look them all in the eyes as she spoke. They deserved this, they deserved the truth, no matter how much it hurt.

"What made you change?" Chris asked, curiously tilting his head as she passed off the trait as kids.

"So this is the thing, I don't want any sympathy, I don't want you to feel bad for me. I don't deserve it, it's something I have to earn." Addie started firmly, making the group cautiously nod their heads. "After I moved, I started a new school. The middle school classes were combined with the highschool, so I was exposed to many things earlier than I should've been, if at all." She sighed shakily, refusing to meet anyone's eyes. Telling this story as many times as she had, she thought it would get easier. It never will get easier.