| revised version & under editing |
Annaliese Thalia is known for being an active member in the Iglesia Ni Cristo. Growing up from the conservative, yet a big, happy, and a loving family of the Executive Minister; her life revolves around school, ch...
We just came back home a bit late from the Philippine Arena dahil nagkaroon ng dinner party at backstage with Inday Sara, the senatorials, and my family as well.
All of us couldn't move on from the roaring of the crowd that echoed through the whole arena, how everyone responds to my husband's call for UNITY, and there's no negativity spilling in the fun atmosphere kanina... wow.
Lalo na sa last part of his speech:
"Isigaw natin sa buong mundo... AKO AY PILIPINO, TAAS NO! KAHIT KANINO!"
I couldn't help but to clap endlessly after his declaration. As his wife, I couldn't be more proud of him.
It's just gives me chills. A successful rally, to be exact. Pero, it's just the first step. For the real test begins after this - all throughout the 90 days of campaigning across the country.
I immediately changed into my sleepwear right after we arrived. Lalabas na sana ako ng closet ko when I accidentally bumped on the shelf beside me, causing a moving box to fall down from the top.
"Oh jusmiyo!" I gasped, squatted down para ligpitin ko yung mga nakalabas na gamit sabay binalik ko ng maayos sa box. Most of them are just baby stuff na ginagamit ni Anna dati.
Until I stopped doing my thing dahil I saw two stuffed animals that caught my attention.
They're the stuffed animals that my daughter used to sleep with nung baby pa siya, na I bought them when she's still in my tummy. A bunny holding a tulip and a cute lamb.
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It's been years, and they still looked adorable as before.
Pinagpag ko muna to get rid of the dust na kumakabit sa kanila and began to hug them tight. Missing you badly, anak ko.
I got out while carrying these stuffed toys like a child and went to my husband's desk where I can see his journal - the same notebook he used whenever he would write his sentiments to my daughter. Yan yung sinabi niya sa akin last time, after our fight.
"What's that notebook for pala, honey?" I ask.
"Thought I can give something more meaningful to her pag mag-e-eighteen na siya," Bongbong chuckled then breathe out a sigh of longingness, "So she'll remember how her Dada loves her so much. Dahil kung meron na nagmahal sa kanya ng higit pa sa buhay niya, then it would be me." he reasoned.
It warmed my heart, in all honesty. Lalo lang lumiwanag yung isip ko sa mali kong akala that my husband knows how to live without OUR daughter.
I sat down - not minding if I'm invading his personal stuff. I grabbed a pen from his pencil holder as I flipped the notebook open, reading some of the letters he wrote. By this, ramdam ko yung kirot sa puso ko that I almost cried, for Bong also missed Anna terribly.
I kept on flipping the pages until I'm now at the blank pages and began to scribble down...
Annaliese, anak...
❛I know it's too early - o hindi talaga uso ang Valentine's Day sa'yo, I don't mind greeting you one, hahaha.❜
I giggled after I wrote that sentence. It's the time of the year for our INC brothers and sisters to be teased by their friends in different beliefs dahil lang 'rito. But, why kailangan gawin yun, eh you can just let them be, diba?
Hayst. Never mind.
❛This is my first time writing a letter to someone who held closer to my heart - kahit na wala siya 'rito because she's now somewhere in this country, taken care of by another family. And that someone is none other than you, baby ko.❜
❛Did your new mama and dada treated you like how we love you, 'nak? Do they have children who are your new kuyas and ates? How's life there, baby? Sorry if I kept on bombarding you with these questions, but I couldn't stop worrying about you. I hope when we meet again, you'll find in your heart to forgive Mommy and Daddy.❜
I put my pen down and sighed, hugging these stuffed animals tightly because at any moment, iiyak na ako. I miss you so much, anak! 😭
❛Never in all of my days are complete without missing you, anak. God knows how much me and your Daddy misses you, too much. Even your kuyas, wala silang tigil sa kaka-mention about you. The house isn't that bright the moment you slipped through my fingers. But nevertheless, we're still trying to move forward in life - dahil alam ko na ayaw mo na makita na nagmumukmok kami palagi.❜
❛I'm sorry if Mommy and Daddy didn't come back for you. Sorry for not being able to see you grew into a lady you're now. Sorry for missing out your first milestones. Your birthdays, graduations, and many more important events that held in your heart dearly, anak. Mommy is so sorry para sa lahat, anak ko. And whatever you achieved lately - big or small, Mommy and Daddy are so so so proud of you, baby ko.❜
Every word I wrote just brings me back the memories of me and my barely three-month-old baby girl. I bit my lower lip to prevent myself from sobbing louder with my heart thumping harder and faster, and I rapidly wiping my tears with my panyo as I continued jotting down all of my sentiments in this piece of paper.
I smiled once again, as any mother who finally saw their child like they longed for - nung naalala ko muli yung una naming pagkikita - even if it resulted into a little trouble than what I thought.
❛But with what happened before we hit the new year, I couldn't help but to feel a surge of fear, hope and euphoria all over my body. I finally got to see you, anak! After more than 16 years of waiting - even in my ephemeral visions, nakayakap na rin kita, nahalikan, at mahawakan na rin kita! You're so pretty, and indeed a dalaga! We may caused some trouble that almost put you in our alanganin na situation - I don't care! Hugging you is just the best thing that has ever happened to me.❜
❛Look what I found in my closet kanina, anak. It's your Bunny and Lambina - the animals you had na nakasama mo matulog when you're still a baby. Even though they can't talk nor move, I can feel their sadness dahil wala na ang owner na magiging ka-tsismosa nila. You know what I told them kanina? That you and your friends will be together again. You'll be back in Mommy's arms. Babalik at babalik ka na sa amin, baby ko. I don't know how or when, but I can feel that. And I'll keep on holding on to that.❜
❛Hope to cross paths again, my little Marie Louise. Mommy just misses you so so so much! Always remember that I love love love you... to the moon and back.❜
Forever and always, Mommy🧸
P.S, Called you "my little Marie Louise" dahil your name is a spin-off pala of mine! How clever talaga ang Daddy mo! 😭
I sighed, feeling the wight has been lifted off from my shoulders. Indeed, our baby girl is our safe space... our comfort... and OUR HOME.
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As of 5:40pm:may dinagdag ng konti si owtor n'yo, hehehe-
