JACK THE RIPPER

34- The idea you had of me, who was she?

I had been in this desolate residence for one week. it feels like barren unforgiving environment that there are only a few people in. no one died last night, I think most of the people around here are just sensing like they are uninteresting, the public will definitely notice the fact that the games are getting less interesting, they are using more technical things such as the birds, the dogs and the acid. Those are the game makers.

I'm slumbering underneath one of the substantial palm trees at the very end of the island or the arena, it almost feels so real that I am here. The realism is uncanny to everything else, the fact that it can feel so real despite the fact we are in a massive dome in the capitol. The cornucopia is in sight, I can see the supplies bobbing up and down in the water.

Hollie snoozes next to me, the milky yellow powder that is sand has already begun intertwining up in her muddled fair-haired mane, the bouquet of the saline sea is beginning to make me feel nauseous. I lay my head on my bag as the two of us tried to catnap as close to the forestry and as far away from the sea, but I still didn't feel secure in the forest.

I mean not even from the other people, but from the amount of times the people who are working in these headquarters of this place are trying to destroy me so urgently. I think their punishing me. for killing the careers of ever so ferociously. But they got what was coming to them. in my personal opinion, good riddance.

There are still quite a lot of people left in the arena, more than I had anticipated, but I think the arena is very outsized. When I get the fuck out of here, always I want to think about is my family. I hope, I just hope the peacekeepers treat them sympathetically when they sooner or later kill them for me being an asshole.

When Hollie stirs after around forty minutes, I had already ventured back into the dank wilderness, collected some of the berries from the bushes, slain a squirrel or two for breakfast and then grabbed the dry crackers and finally filtered the water. breakfast would be served and eaten on the beach.

"What do we do today?" Hollie inquired, we were trekking along the edge of the beach. I held the spear in my hand whilst she had her hunting knives.

I turned around, holding the spear whilst I looked for fish in the ocean, maybe the game makers were feeling generous. "Today we hunt for supplies, maybe try and find a tribute."

"I thought you said no killing?" Hollie raised an eyebrow. I snickered.

"Yeah I did, but that was before these games just drag on until there is nothing left of us." I elucidated, walking along the beach. I think I saw a couple of fish by the cornucopia.

"So where would we even look?"

"Well as far as I'm concerned. We haven't really searched these jungle or forest area...whatever this area is." I criticized. It was aching up there in my brain due to how much landscape was on this arena. You had the highlands, the beach, the ocean and the forestry.

"There's mountains up there and I think the girl from three and the boy from eight are up there." Hollie eluded, that was the problem; I couldn't really kill a child. No matter how brutal things got, I was definitely above killing children for now. Maybe if there was just me, Hollie and someone else left. then I might.

"The pair from eleven are somewhere in the silent woods, I think I saw the girl running from the acid and into the woods." I recollected.

She had hurled herself from the lumbers and ascending herself up to the mountains, if I recalled correctly. The boy had to have been with her, they trained for the whole week together. they relied on one another in training, the girl got a better score yet the boy had more brute force.

That's when I saw her.

The girl, from District 5.

My natural executioner instinct recoiled in, I seized the axe off of my back, compressing it between my handfuls and heaved it directly for her head. she lowered in the nick of time and darted off within a second thought, heading for the forests. Her limbs hurled her into the deep forest and she was gone within seconds.

The guiltiness I felt from that one moment nearly crushed me.

This was who I was now?

This person. I didn't like myself.

I looked in the relfection of the water, noticing my features.

I was not this person.

I remember one time when I was with Lincoln in the forest, it was poisonously inaudible. You couldn't even hear anything but the sound of the leaves champing and twigs shattering. There was a bird perched on top of one of the oak trees. I noticed it instantly; the blue fur, the golden beak. It would make a perfect dinner. birds are actually considerably good meat when your starving to death.

When I volley it directly in the chest, it made a shrilling noise and fell into a clump of bushes. Lincoln grabbed it instantly, his fleshy grin and lit up eyes made me realise that we wouldn't go hungry. But I was killing things for us to survive.

I made that choice then.

I made that choice now.

Did I like that choice? Fuck no. but it was the only choice I had, I didn't like the idea of killing a human, taking another person's life. But it was the only way I was going to survive these games. You never like the kill, but you like what the kill does. You like the fact that you know you're going to survive, but you never like taking that person's life away.

If your sane at the very least, you don't like it.

I don't think the Capitol is sane.

I look up at one of the cameras pointing directly at me in the sky, I can see the camera buzzing as that tiny little red light is showing my face to the millions watching me back at home. their scrawny faces, their beaten down eyes, their bony skin makes me realise who I am.

I'm a megastar to the Capitol. I'm their darling now, I'm the one they are cheering for. The one that they want to win so that the men back at home can use me for my physique, for my sex appeal. So they can have their way with me and take me as some kind of prostitute.

That's how it's going to be when I win these games. I fucking hate that.

But to the boroughs? To the subordinate ones at least; I'm nothing more than a hard-hearted executioner who has taken blameless (ish) lives to survive. But come on? if you're in this arena and you know this, surely you'd do the same?

It's what I keep telling myself. It doesn't make it any easier when I flung the axe at the girl's head. in fact, I think it made it worse.

I snap myself back into reality, I'm standing above the water, kicking it with my shoes. Hollie is right behind me, like some kind of pet. Like a dog, but I like her too much to kill her. she's still limping, y'know. due to the snake venom. But she can walk on her own now which I guess is good.

"We should keep moving." I alert. Hollie treads behind me when we get near the wooded area.

"Okay." Hollie approves unequivocally. "Should we go find the girl from five?"

"Nah, if not me, someone else will kill her off." I wave a hand, Hollie shrugs.

"Alright."