SOOO SINCE YALL WANTED TO READ ME TRAUMA DUMP HERE I AMMM!!
so this year i started at a new school as a first year student for architecture.and at my last school i was heavily bullied and it just wasn't the right environment for me so yeah.and coming into this new school i had a mindset of 'i will be myself and if people dont like that then thats their issue' and i did just that and just in like two weeks of school i was in a friend group of like 8 girls and i LOVVVED IT!!!
(i know this is boring so far but trust the process)
and there was this one girl who we will call...snake(cuz she is one) and at the beginning she was very nice!we got close really quick we hung out every day after school and i even opened up
about my family and i told her that i am not the type of person that will open up easily and if you pressure me to open up i will just build up more walls, and that i usually handle everything by myself cuz that's just how it is.
NOW INTO THE DRAMA!
so in our class there is this one guy (brian) and all of us agreed that he is the most attractive guy in our class, but me and snake were talking and i told her that i have like a crush on hin and she was like 'oh
thats so sweet' and yeah all good.three days go by and she texts me;
snake:how are you feeling?
me:i'm gooood!!you?
snake:i'm good too!can i tell you something?
me:yes of course go ahead!
snake:i started talking to brian yesterday and we really hit it off and i'm starting to like him.
me:(i was on pause cuz like huh?so suddenly)oh my god that's so cool!i'm happy for you!
snake:thank you and i just don't want this to ruin our friendship
and yeah that's the first thing she did which i was like a bit hurt but like i just forgot about it and moved on with my life.
now this is like two months into out school year and one of my now best friends (cat) likes this one guy (tom) for these whole two months and like the thing with brian was like fine whatever my feelings weren't that deep but cat liked this guy a lot!!like she really liked this guy obviously because she has liked him for two months already.(forgot to mention that after a week of dating snake dumped brian so now she's single) and one day she texts me;
snake:imagine me and tom are talking!!
me:oh
snake:yeah and he is like so my type
me:doesn't cat like him?
snake:yeah she does but it's not my fault she can't do anything to get with him.
(BITCH EXCUSEEE MEEE???WHAT ARE YOU EVEN SAYING RIGHT NOW)
so yeah that was that 😀
and mind you in the span of 2 MONTHS she had been with 4 guys.yup you read that right 4 GUYS!!!!THIS IS A NEW SCHOOL!!!
and you know what's funny?all those for guys were like kinda connected.
brian and tom are best friends and classmates
guy2(ben) and guy3(nick) are classmates and friends(from a different class)
ben went out on a daye with her everything was alright but he told her he wasn't ready for a relationship yet.
and nick confessed to her she liked the attention she talked to him went out but never dated him she said she would never date him because he's not her type.
AND KEEP NICK IN MIND BECAUSE BITCH WHAT SHE DID AND SAID YESTERDAY REALLY GOT ON MY NERVES.
so yeah cat found out that snake and tom were dating and she was heartbroken obviously and from that day on she still was friends with snake but she like wasn't all nice to her, if she didn't like something she told snake that, and if snake was being a bitch towards her she clapped back.
so yeah i just cantt with her.
so i started liking this other guy (jack) and me and jack had a vibe going on!!we would make eye contact and smile afterwards and like i would catch him staring at me in class and you knoww those cute moments.so this guy i had hopes we would end up together BUT SNAKE HAS TO DO HER THING!!!she started getting really close and touchy with him like leaning against his shoulder and yk just randomly talk to him LEAVE ME ALONE IN CLASS TO GO TALK TO HIM!!!like bitch and then one day she asked jack if he likes me and he said no and from that day on jack would ignore me and it was like so fucking sad because we had a vibe EVEN AS FRIENDSSSS and that shit really fucked me up.
and now where shit got so toxic i just hate myself for sticking around.
she one day sends me 5+ PARAGRAPHS about how i am a horrible person EVEN THO after all of those break ups i was the one who held up her emotions in myself and it led me to get so mentally tired that i just wasn't the same person anymore and i was just bottling up her emotions and listening to her and giving her advice even tho i needed someone to talk to.so yes she send me those paragraphs and i am shocked because i have been nothing but nice and kind to her these months and i was like so taken aback it was crazy..
and then the next day she pretends like everything is alright.SHE IS MENTAY ILL YOU GUYS I AM TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW!!
a week goes by and she tells me that one guy from a different class called me a hoe.she was texting with him.and still was.and still is.IM SORRY BUT IS IT JUST ME OR WHEN A GUY CALLS MY FRIEND A HOE I TELL HIM TO SUCK HIS OWN DICK AND BLOCK HIM LIIIIKE?????
but that's a whole different story because that shit got complicated and the truth turned out twisted.
so obviously i became more distant with her because after all that shit i wasn't going to run to her with my arms wide open.no way in HELL!
and then after a week again she texts me more paragraphs about how i am a bad friend for not putting in enough effort to keep the friendship...now y'all can tell me if i'm wrong for this but.
HOW THE FUCK DOES SHE EXPECT ME TO WANT TO KEEP THE FRIENDSHIP IF EVERY WEEK SHE KEEPS CRUSHING ME MENTALLY ???AND THE THINGS I TOLD YOU ARE THE BIG THINGS SHE JUST IS LIKE BICKERING ABOUT ANYTHING I DO LIKE 'why are you writing so much it's not like you'll be able to read it all' AND SHE ALSO TELLS ME 'no one's a fan of you' LIKE BRUHH DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF????AND THEN YOU EXPECT ME TO WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU????
and after the schools winter ball (yesterday) she asked me how was it because she was one of the people organizing it and i told her it was fun and all and yeah that i told her that i danced with the guy i like(john) but like i told her 'i danced with john' not telling her that i like him because we all know what she does if you tell her you like someone.
and she was like;
snake:well then your evening was good
me: yeah?
snake:what?you're such a fangirl of john
me:i'm not a fangirl he's just a cool guy
snake:okay you like him so what?
me:i don't know if i like him as i said he's just a cool guy
snake:i just don't understand why out of a million people him?
me:what?
snake:why'd you have to like him of all people?i mean come on he's nicks best friend.
so yeah she basically told me that i can't like john because he is friends with nick.
guys i cried for like half an hour and i had to get ready for school so i put my mascara on but then i cried it off and i had to reapply the mascara and it just really hurt me because i really like john like he is so cool and sweet and just amazing overall..idk what should I do?should i forget about him to keep the peace with snake or should i just ignore what she says and continue to like him?because my friend cat she tells me when we're walking in the halls she sees him looking at me..
so yeah i am just so done with everything she does like it seems like she doesn't want me to be happy like constantly crushing me down for what??what the fuck did i do to make her behave like this?!
THE BALL
iwannaalwaysslays asked if i had fun at the ball so WHY NOT TELL YOU THAT???
soo i arrived at the ball and everyone was kinda awkward because it was the start but then we all started yk dancing and all that and it was sooo fun!!
we had a dj and the songs were amazinggg like so much fun!!
and the guy that i like john like he was a bit further all the time and like when we were playing a game we made eye contact multiple times and it was so cuute and i felt butterflies and everythinggg
and more towards the end of the evening some teachers came in and started dancing a bit and like everyone was divided in like three groups because yk friend groups and all that and i just decided fuck it and joined one of the groups because one of my friends was there and out group saw the teachers dancing and we started hyping them up and it was so cuute!!
and like as we were hyping them up john like with every little jump he came closer to me?like he was somewhere in the middle of the group and i was more towards the end and he like got out of the middle and came closer to meee and then yeah we danced together and i just had a lott of fun.
I CANT WALK AND I LOST MY VOICE😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
