You'll Be Alright - Taylor Swift

Part 16

Tree said something that made Taylor sad.

I don't like when Taylor is sad.

I wasn't listening to what they were talking about. I may be little, but I like to think Cory was wrong when he called me dumb. Which means I know when someone is trying to distract me so that they can talk. Taylor was clearly trying to do that right now. Not that I minded; I was having cuddles with Taylor and playing the piano. What more can I ask for?

I was having fun practising with one hand, just like Taylor told me to. The piano felt nice under my fingers, and I liked the way the notes sounded. But then Tree said something, and Taylor got all tense. I don't know what Tree said because I wasn't listening. But now Taylor is hugging me, and I can feel that she's upset. I hadn't even noticed that I had stopped playing and that Taylor had turned me into her chest for cuddles until she started tracing patterns on my back and playing again.

I hold onto Taylor's t-shirt because it feels safe. The fabric is soft, and it smells like Taylor, which is why I picked her shirt this morning. I'm scared that someone is going to take me away from Taylor. I don't want to leave Taylor. I like being with her. She's nice to me, and I feel safe when I'm with her. But if someone takes me away, I won't be safe anymore. I want to stay with Taylor.

Is that what Tree was telling Taylor? That I have to leave? I don't want to go. I want to stay with Taylor. What will happen if I leave? Where will I go? What if whoever takes me is like Cory? I can't leave Taylor. She is who keeps me safe. I only just got safe. I don't want things to go back to how they were. I don't want to leave.

Taylor is playing the piano softly, and I try to pay attention to the music. The familiar melody makes me feel a bit better, but my thoughts are still loud and scary. I don't know what's going to happen, and it makes me feel even smaller than I am. 

I wish Taylor could make everything okay like she always does. I wish we could just stay here in the music room forever and play together. I like playing music with Taylor. She is so good, and sometimes she sings along when she plays her songs, and it's the best thing ever.

I look up at her, and she's talking to someone, but I don't understand the words. She said something to Tree, and I hope it's something that will keep us together. I don't want to go back to being alone and scared. I want to be with Taylor and feel safe. I hope Taylor knows what to do.

Taylor continued to talk to Tree, and I tried to focus on the piano, but the scary thoughts in my head were getting louder. I squeezed Taylor's t-shirt tighter, hoping that would make everything okay. But then, I started to feel like I couldn't breathe. It was like the air was getting heavy, and my chest hurt. I didn't understand what was happening, but it scared me.

"Taylor," I whispered, my voice shaky, but she didn't seem to hear me. The room started spinning, and my heart raced faster and faster. I didn't want to leave Taylor. She was the only person who made me feel safe, and if someone took me away, I didn't know what would happen. I felt a lump forming in my throat, and my eyes stung with tears.

"Taylor..." I tried again, but my voice was barely a whisper. I wanted to tell her that I didn't want to leave, that I wanted to stay with her forever. But the words got stuck in my throat. Panic took over, and I couldn't breathe. I clung to Taylor, feeling the panic rise within me, making everything blur.

Suddenly, Taylor's attention shifted from the conversation with Tree to me. Her eyes widened as she noticed my distress. "Hey, hey, buddy, it's okay," she whispered, her voice soothing. She took my face in her hands and made me look into her eyes.

I tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come out. Taylor wiped away a tear that was rolling down my cheek. "Breathe, little surviour. Take a deep breath with me, okay?" Taylor's voice was calm, and I nodded, trying to follow her lead. She took a deep breath, and I tried to do the same, but it felt hard, like when Cory used to hold me against the wall by my neck.