Defamed: Book Three (bxb) ✔️

Chapter Five: Unwarranted

Cameron Windsor

Once upon a time, Asher told me not to lie to him. I started out dating him with a small lie, and then I advanced into the biggest lie someone could tell another person. It wasn't on purpose because, at the time, I didn't know it was a lie. I found out the same day it wasn't, and I never corrected the lie.

Maybe I was stopped by the idea that my body was used for something I never consented to. I was in a committed relationship with someone I loved more than anything. Someone I still loved. I was stuck back in the past, where my relationship ended, and I found out that I was assaulted. I never left. I was angry at James for taking away my safe place. My comfort zone. My brothers. My sanity. Everything that once made me who I was--it no longer existed. I constantly mourned the person I once was because I could hardly remember him. I wanted him back. I wanted to be on my first life--but now I felt like I was on my last life, now.

I kept my arms over my eyes, trying to drown out the sound of my sorrows. Asher was working. He always worked. He stayed away from any area I might be occupying. Megan would be over soon to cook dinner for the third day in a row. She was kind to me. We'd formed a bit of a friendship, and for interaction with someone other than my therapist and my brothers, I talked to Megan.

She told me about her family and her kids, and I exchanged stories about my brothers in return. Asher usually took his dinner and disappeared back into his office to work or avoid me. Maybe both. I tried to offer for him to eat with me yesterday, and that was the biggest mistake I could have made. He stared at me like I'd grown three heads and left me sitting there. I deserved it. I knew I did, but how could he still hurt me after so much time?

Neither of us were the people we were in college. We changed.

I heard the shuffling of feet on the floor, and I rolled my eyes behind my arms. Megan wasn't here yet, so I knew it was Asher. "If you need me to vacate the living room, please let me know. I'd be happy to assist you. Whatever I can do to make my stay here more comfortable for you."

Asher didn't answer, and after several seconds, I peeked through my arms to see him staring at me. It was then I realized what I'd done, and grabbed the blanket, and shoved my arms underneath it. "What do you need, Asher?"

His stare on my bare arms was a stark reminder of why I was here.

"I was told to make sure you were alright, so I was doing that."

"By staring at something you have no business looking at?" I snapped at him. "I'll be sure to keep them covered next time. My mistake."

He rolled his eyes, but he was clearly haunted by...something. It couldn't have been my attempt. No. "I never asked you to do that, Cameron. I'm a human being, and I saw them. There is no need to hide them."

I sat up and pressed my back against the arm of the couch, not taking my eyes away from those once comforting hazel ones. "Isn't there?" I asked. "I'm here because my brothers can't trust me to be alone, and I always uphold my promises." I saw the look in eyes shift. I knew what I said, and I knew he was affected by it. "Except to you, right? You asked me not to lie to you again. For all you know, I didn't lie."

"For all I—" He stopped himself. "We're not talking about this."

"Why? Afraid I'm going to off myself because my ex-boyfriend doesn't love me anymore? Get a grip. I know what I did. I have spent eight years paying for the mistake I made."

"And do you believe that mistake can be forgiven?" He angled his head, taking a daring step closer to where I was sitting. "You told me you were happy. You walked out of my dorm with the promise of seeing me in the morning. You kept that promise. But you didn't keep the unspoken promise of not cheating on someone you claimed to love. But you don't cheat on someone you love, Cameron. You just don't. So, don't question my love for you or whether it does or doesn't exist. It was you who didn't love me. And it was you who fucking ruined me. Ruined my view on relationships. Ruined it all. That was you."