Defamed: Book Three (bxb) ✔️

Chapter Fifteen: Safe

Asher Adair

The moment I opened my eyes—they drifted down to the warmth curled in front of me. He had a pillow tucked under his head, and his arms secured it in place. His legs were pulled close to his chest, and he curled around like a ball.

I wondered if he felt safe.

He was still dead asleep as the sun shined through the small break in his black-out curtains. His room was still mostly packed into boxes except for a few stray items lying about the space. It made me continue to wonder if he'd finally found a home here with his brothers. I hoped so.

Cameron deserved to feel safe and secure where he was. Although I hated the idea of him no longer being in my apartment, I knew he couldn't stay there forever. Not unless he wanted to. I'd agree in a heartbeat. Maybe that was insane considering the circumstances, but he was once my future.

And I wanted my entire future back.

But was that logical to want considering the situation we were in?

Cameron never cheated on me. He was violated. Assaulted. His happy image of life was shattered, and the boy who lay beside me was a completely different version of who I once knew. But that didn't matter to me. My heart loved his heart, and his heart remained the same.

I reached over and brushed my hand through his disheveled hair. He stirred for a moment before letting out a soft sigh. He always loved his hair played with when he was trying to sleep. It brought him peace. It gave him safety.

Both things he once told me when we dated.

Cameron's eyes popped open and searched until he found me there, then his eyes closed again. He burrowed further into his pillow, and I didn't stop moving my hand through his hair.

The sight both fixed and broke my heart. It felt selfish to miss our relationship and the way it was. I couldn't tell him that. It wasn't about his sunshine but more about just him. It was about these moments. It was about my heart dying slowly with every second I spent next to him—no longer angry.

I understood now. I understood the darkness. I understood that everything I once believed was a lie. It all crumbled into something unimaginably worse. But even during the dark days, I still loved him. I let him ruin me because he was the only person who could. He still had that power, and I would let him do it again. I would do it in a heartbeat for the boy who slept peacefully beside me.

When my hand stopped for a moment, Cameron's eyes flickered open again. He was quite the heavy sleeper unless he was balancing between awake and asleep. The moment I stopped moving my hand through his hair, his eyes opened. It wasn't new information, and it made me want to grab him and just hug him. 

He looked absolutely precious. The wonderment in his eyes as he looked at me made my heart stagger in my chest. He didn't look away in his sleepy haze, and I was afraid to. I wanted to hold onto any moment I got to spend simply looking at him. When there was nothing between us except the fresh morning behind us. When there was only this stilled moment in time. Nothing else existed. The past was far away. The present didn't exist. 

We were two people lying here with our wounds tucked away.

I moved my hand through his hair again, and his eyes fluttered closed for a quick seconds before they opened again. A soft hum left his lips, and I could genuinely smile ever so slightly. He looked so small, so comfortable. 

"What time is it?"

"Just past six."

He frowned. "You need to work soon."