Whiskey and Heartbreak(j.g.)

Chapter 23

I woke up to the sunlight shining in through my window. As I rolled over I noticed the bed was empty. Was last night a dream? It sure felt like it. My body felt like I had been hit by a train. Everything is sore and my head is pounding. I sat up and reached over to my night stand to grab my phone. I had countless texts and missed calls from Cassie and Kian and JC. All of them were freaking out and wondering if I was okay. I texted them all back telling them that everything was fine.

I noticed I had a text from Jack so I opened it.

"Hey Kelsey, hope you're feeling okay. I had to leave early this morning to go to a brunch with Lindsey. I'm coming over tonight so we can talk about what happened last night. Be there around 7."

The thought of him back with Lindsey made my head hurt even worse. Ugh what is my life about right now?

My phone started ringing and I noticed it was Kian calling me.

"Hello?" I croaked out.. my voice was almost completely gone.

"Kelsey what the fuck? What happened last night?"

"It's a long story" I said rolling my eyes not really wanting to go into the details right now over the phone.

"Okay well get dressed. I'm on my way back to LA right now and were going out to lunch when I get there."

"Okay"

"See you at 12"

"Bye"

I got up and went into my bathroom to shower. Looking at myself in the mirror I looked like a hott mess. My eyes were red and swollen from crying and there was mascara pouring down my face.

After I showered it was about 1130am. Probably one of the longest showers I've taken in my life. I brushed my hair and let it air dry and threw on a pair of black shorts and a black crop top with a flannel around my waste and some vans.

Kian finally got to my apartment and we both decided on going to chipotle for lunch.

"So.... what's up?" Kian asked as we both sat down and started eating

"I just had a little bit of a mental breakdown last night that's all" I said trying to avoid telling him.

"You know I'm not letting you get out of this so tell me what happened. You scared the shit out of me Kelsey"

"Basically I saw Jack posting things about him and Lindsey's two month anniversary so I bought a handle of whiskey and basically drank all of it. Jack saw my tweet and came to my apartment and forced water down my throat and sat with me while I threw up all night and then he stayed with me while I cried myself to sleep" I blurted out acting pretty nonchalant about the whole situation considering I almost died from alcohol poisoning.

"Kelsey. You really need to get some help" Kian said hesitantly

"No I really don't. I'm fine."

"We're all just really worried about you that's all" He said probably realizing how pissed I was getting.

"I appreciate it but it's something I need to go through by myself. I'll get through it."

We didn't talk much for the rest of lunch and I went back to my apartment alone and decided to watch some tv before Jack came over. I wasn't looking forward to it. My emotions are all out of whack right now. He told me he loved me.. maybe not directly to me because he thought I was sleeping but still. I don't know what is going to happen tonight but I'm nervous as hell about it.

I was watching pretty little liars on netflix when I got a text. It was from Jack.

"Hey I'm out of the brunch early are you home now?"

I looked at the clock and it was 4pm now.

"Yeah I am" I answered

I got up and went to the bathroom to fix my makeup. I don't know why but I feel the need to impress Jack again. It's like I need his approval to approve of myself. The affect this kid has on me is dangerous.

After fixing my face I went to the kitchen and poured myself a glass of water when I heard a soft knock at my door... here we go.

I opened the door and saw him standing there with his hands in his pockets. He looked up at me and slightly smiled.

"Hi"

"Hi Jack, Come in"

We both stayed quiet as we walked to the living room. He sat down on the couch and I sat down on the couch opposite him. Silence filled the room as neither one of us knew what to say to each other.

"What are we doing?" He broke the silence

"What do you mean?"

"I can't sit here and watch you do this to yourself Kelsey. I know I'm the cause and it breaks my heart to think that I'm the reason for all of this"

I sat there looking down at my fingers in my lap. I didn't know what to say so I said the only thing that came to mind.

"You broke me Jack" I felt a tear roll down my cheek and quickly wiped it away. "And you wanna know what's sick and twisted about it? Is that I still fucking love you. I don't know why or how but I do. You have this control over me that you don't even know about and I'm stuck"

"Listen, I know I fucked up that night. I realize that and I'm sorry. I tried fixing it for 2 weeks after you left. Countless texts and calls and you pushed me away. I thought you were done with me so I gave up"

"I was hurting Jack. You don't just give up on someone you love" I said and mentally hit myself because he wasn't supposed to know that I heard him say it last night.

He looked up at me shocked at first but his mouth curved up into a smirk.

"You weren't sleeping" He said as half as a question and half as a statement like he already knew that.

I shook my head and smiled to myself. we sat there for a few minutes not saying anything to each other.

"So you're still with Lindsey?" I asked pretty bluntly.

He let out a big sigh and leaned back into the couch. "Yeah"

"Do you love her?" I said looking him right in the eyes waiting for the answer. To be honest I don't know if I wanted to hear the answer. I don't know if I can handle it but it's too late now.

"Yes" He answered and tears started building in my eyes and the lump in my throat grew bigger as I tried to hold them back. I looked down and wiped the few tears that managed to escape.

"Kelsey..." He said getting up from the couch and sitting next to me. He put his arm around me and I shrugged it off.

"No, don't. It's fine." I sniffled back. He sat there looking at me with pity and sorrow in his eyes.

"You should go Jack" I said standing up from the couch. He looked up at me with a concerned face and the sorrow in his eyes became even more evident.

"I don't want to leave you alone here" he stood up next to me.

"Well I don't want you here! All you do is break my fucking heart over and over and over" I screamed as tears fell and I pushed him hitting him in his chest with every word. He didn't fight back. Instead he grabbed me and embraced me in the strongest and warmest hug I've ever experienced. He put his fingers through my hair and kissed my forehead as I cried into his chest.

"Shhhh. I'm here with you right now. We'll figure this out I promise"

I lifted my head off of his chest and looked up at him.

"How?"

"I don't know yet but I'm not leaving you tonight so get that through your little head" He smiled at me and I couldn't help but smile back up at him.