Whiskey and Heartbreak(j.g.)

Chapter 28

These past few weeks have been tough. Mostly because I feel so alone. I have no one left. I've pushed everyone that has ever cared about me away. My reliance on alcohol has came back into effect along with drugs. The only people I ever hang out with are the people in my band. They're all guys and they're all into smoking weed and taking molly and acid. I've tried them out just to try and feel something. It hasn't worked. 

I'm coming up on my last show of the tour tomorrow night. 

My fans are still as amazing as ever I just have lost my passion for music again. After this show tomorrow I'm moving to NYC with by band mates two days after. 

As much as I loved touring, it got too exhausting for me. With my mental issues and addiction issues worrying about being perfect all the time for my fans has just become too much. I am aware of my addictions. I just don't have the strength to go through treatment at this point. 

"Yo Kels we're about to spark up this blunt... you in?" Dillon, my lead guitarist asked me snapping me out of my thoughts.

I nodded my head and sat down in the circle. 

As I inhaled the smoke I started to feel the high kicking in after a few hits. We all sat there in the room covered in tapestries the guys brought to every hotel with us and were taken over by our thoughts. The five of us were high as shit and no one had the energy to talk. There really wasn't anything to talk about anyways. 

I hated living like this. I hated relying on things like drugs and alcohol to feel alive. But I couldn't stop it. The only other thing that made me feel alive was Jack and I haven't talked to him in almost a year. 

Everyone's moving on with their lives, Cassie, Jenn, Kian and the guys and I'm here "living the dream" on tour but I'm just so unhappy. 

Our little chill zone was interrupted by my manager bursting through the door.

"What the fuck is this?!" Rob yelled at us not really earning a reaction due to the fact that we were so high we could barely think. 

Dillon and Greg started giggling to themselves in the corner making me start also. 

"Kelsey come with me... NOW" He yelled.

I gave a mocking glare to my band mates "Sir yes SIR!" I yelled saluting him and laughing to myself. 

He brought me into the hallway of the hotel we were staying at. The light hit my eyes making me squint even more. 

"Why are you doing this? Don't you care about your career?" He asked looking me in straight in my bloodshot and swollen eyes. 

"Oh relax dude it's just weed" I giggled to myself. 

He grabbed my shoulders and shook me a little.

"You need to get some help. I've called a rehab center that would be happy to take you" he said.

I tried opened my eyes more to look at him but I physically couldn't open them any further. 

"Nah I'm all fucking set with that." I slurred out. I was so high I didn't even feel like forming words. 

"You're lucky tomorrow is your last show or I would cancel the rest of the tour." He said as he walked away.

I was so pissed off at the fact that he had now ruined my peaceful high that I just decided to go to bed. 

The next morning... or afternoon I should say I woke up at 2pm. The show started at 6 so I decided to take a shower, get dressed and get some food with the guys. I threw on a Nirvana crop top with some high waisted shorts and some vans. I left my hair naturally wavy and threw some sunglasses on as I walked down to the lobby meeting the guys. We drove to Chipotle to get some lunch after smoking a blunt on the way there. 

High chipotle is so much better than sober chipotle. 

"Dude this is so good" Dillon said with his mouth full.

"Ew chew with your mouth-" I stopped in the middle of my sentence as I stared out the window in shock.

"Uhhh Hello? Earth to Kelsey? You okay?" he asked laughing and waving his hand in my face.

"Y-yeah I just thought I saw-... Never mind" I said and continued eating my food. I must be hallucinating from this weed. 

We went back to the hotel to get ready for the show. I put on my corset and black fishnet stockings and my stylist did my hair and makeup as the guys and I passed around a bottle of rum to swig out of. Yeah I have my own stylist now... shits getting real.

I was pretty fucked up before going onto the stage to start performing but that's how every show was lately. I just get shitfaced and high as shit and it calms all my nerves and lets me just put it all out there. 

I started performing my set for all my screaming fans and I wish I could enjoy this feeling as much as I used to. I'm just so fucked up. After my first 4 songs I grabbed a drink of water and took out my guitar for one of my slow songs. 

"Alright guys I'm gunna slow this down a little bit." I tried my best not to slur in front of my fans. 

I started strumming and singing my heartbroken ballad when I looked up at the crowd and my eyes met a familiar face. But no. It couldn't be. I must be hallucinating again. I continued singing after a brief pause from shock and tried to focus my vision on the figure in the crowd. The alcohol and weed and lights were making it almost impossible to see. But I could've sworn it was...

I finished the last strum on the guitar still staring into the crowd at that person. All of a sudden the figure turned around and started walking out of the venue. No. Stop. I thought to myself but couldn't actually say into the mic. I don't even know if it's really him. My band mates stared at me in confusion as I stood in silence in front of the mic. 

"I'm sorry guys I'll be right back I promise!" I finally managed to get out into the microphone. I ran backstage and pushed through all of the people trying to stop me and ask me questions. I ran out of the back door exit throwing a hoodie on over my head trying to hide myself. I jogged around the front of the building just in time to see the dark figure turn down a street about two blocks up. I sprinted up the street and turned down the same street and it turned out to be just an empty alley. The only things there were a few dumpsters and a stray cat. 

I breathed heavily and started to try and bring myself back to reality. I knew it wasn't real. I knew it was just an hallucination. These drugs got me fucked up. I can't believe this. 

I reluctantly turned around to head back to the show when I was suddenly face to face with an extremely tall man dressed in all black with a hoodie pulled up over his head just like mine. I wasn't hallucinating... it was him. The guy I've been yearning for for this entire year. I must be dreaming he can't really be standing here in front of me after all this time. 

"You followed me." He said in a low but gentle voice. 

I stood there in shock not knowing what to do or say. I was frozen. It was Jack. It was really fucking him right now. After all this time he's standing right here. Our eyes were locked on each others almost as if we were having a conversation without words. 

"So you're saying I still have a chance?" He asked me and I couldn't help the small smile that escaped my lips in that dark alley of LA. 

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THE END!

Holy shit i can't believe my first fanfic is finished. I actually love this book so much and am pretty proud of myself for it. I love the ending too because it gives you guys a chance to use your imagination on what you think happened. I don't think I will be doing a sequel to this book but I am working on my new Sammy wilk fanfic called friends with benefits so make sure you go check that out! Im also thinking of starting a new Jack G. fanfic too. But thank you sooo much for all the love on this book. I appreciate all your votes and comments <3