Whiskey and Heartbreak(j.g.)

Chapter 19

I sat up straight in my bed experiencing an overwhelming mixture of emotions. Anger, sadness, happiness. He stood there staring at me in the darkness of my room, the only light being the one from the hallway flooding in.

"What do you want?" I scoffed laying back down on my bed keeping my new cold hearted persona.

"Get up" He said in a stern and almost angry voice switching on the light. Cassie stood in the doorway witnessing everything that was happening.

"Why should I?"

"Do you see what your doing to yourself?! Get your shit together and get up" He said looking straight at me not breaking eye contact once. I swear he was looking straight through me.

"What I'm doing to MYSELF?!" I raised my voice as I stood up coming inches from the guy I once admired. "No.... YOU did this to me. This was YOUR fault!" I said pushing him in the chest making him step back. As these words crossed my mouth the hardness left his eyes and sympathy and hurt replaced it. He stood there trying to find the words to respond.

"Just get out." I said shaking my head and sitting back down on my bed. He didn't move. "Are you deaf? Get the fuck out!" I said pointing to the door.

He slowly turned around and grabbed the door behind him. Right before he was about to close it I heard a soft "I'm so sorry" escape from his lips in almost a whisper. Those words immediately brought back so many memories of the good times we had when I actually thought he cared about me. The most amazing four days I've had in the longest time but they also brought back the image of him making out with the blonde. That image that has been replaying itself in my mind for the past month. The image that only goes away when I drown myself in alcohol. The image that broke me.

I shut my light of and crawled into bed pulling the covers over my body as a tear rolled down my cheek.

The next morning I got up and showered. I decided to be a human today and try and get back into contact with some of the friends I made. After all I'm going to be living here now so I might as well not completely isolate myself. Plus the guys throw parties almost every night and I haven't gotten drunk in like three days.

I threw on a cropped sweatshirt and a pair of white shorts with white vans. I let my hair fall naturally and put on some light makeup.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Kian's number.

"Hello?!"

"Hey loser." I answered in kind of a sarcastic way.

"Kelsey. How are you? Why haven't you called or texted me? I tried getting in touch with you so many times"

"I know I'm sorry I just needed some time for myself." I said not really wanting to hurt his feelings.

"I understand. Are you all moved into your apartment?" He asked sounding exactly like the happy and kind hearted Kian I remember.

"Yeah! Everything's all set here so I'm officially an LA girl now"

"Awesome. Listen what are you doing tonight? We're all going to the club if you wanna come"

"Yeah that sounds like a plan to me. Pregame at your place?"

"You know the drill" He answered with a small laugh.

"Okay I'll see you tonight then!" I hung up the phone and was actually kind of excited to see everyone.. that is everyone except Jack which I'm sure will be there too.

I rolled my eyes at the thought of seeing him there.

The day consisted of me and Cassie finishing unpacking all of our things with little conversation between us.

"So we're going to the club tonight if you wanna come" I said to her as I hung up a picture frame on the wall.

I knew I was about to get a super long lecture about my party habits and how I'm worrying her.

"Okay who is we?"

"Like us and Kian and the guys and everyone idk. Kian just said they were going" I answered

"Okay yeah that will be fun. So you talked to Kian?"

"Yeah we're cool he understands I needed my space"

"That's good."

"I'm gunna go start getting ready we should leave in about 2 hours to go to the pregame at Kian's house" I said basically running into my room and closing the door not giving Cassie a chance to lecture me.

I picked out a hott pink dress that was extremely short and form fitting and quite honestly pretty slutty but whatever. I straightened my hair and did a dark smokey eye for my makeup.

By the time I was done getting ready Cassie had already called an uber and was waiting for me in the kitchen.

"You look great!" she said smiling at me.

"Thanks so do you."

"Listen Kelsey, I just wanna have fun tonight so I don't wanna argue with you about drinking or that kind of stuff so just have fun but be careful" she warned

I smiled at her kind of thankfully for her short warning.

"Okay I will I promise" I said. Maybe she was right and I know she was only doing these things because she cares about me. Maybe being back in LA will be a good thing for me and being around Kian and them will help to get me out of this funk.

I have a good feeling it will.

We finally arrived at Kian's house and he opened the door giving me a huge hug!

"I missed you so much!" He squeezed me so hard I could barely breathe.

"I missed you too!" I laughed.

"Guys Kelsey's here!" he yelled inside the house and I was instantly surrounded by all the guys giving me hugs and telling me how much they missed me.

"Wow you look fucking hott" Sammy smirked at me as he gave me a hug.

"Thanks you don't look so bad yourself Wilkinson" I winked back at him. We both laughed and he grabbed my hand leading me into the kitchen to get me a drink. He poured me a beer and handed it to me only to have me chug it back and hand him the empty cup to refill.

"Woah take it easy there champ" he smirked but them his face dropped as his gaze met something behind me. I took the refilled cup and turned around to see what he was looking at. It was Jack walking in the door but not by himself. He had his arm around the girl I was all too familiar with. I had replayed images of her so many times in my head. It was the blonde.

I stood there for a minute trying to catch my breath and act calm.

Jack's eyes scanned the room and finally our gazes met. He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck walking over towards us with her.

"Hey bro" he said to Sammy doing their little handshake.

"Wassup" Sammy said awkwardly knowing how weird this situation was.

"Kelsey?" he said acknowledging my existence. I looked up from my cup and glared at him.

"This is Lindsey....my girlfriend" he said pointing to the broad that had ruined everything for me. His what? Did he just said girlfriend. The word shot through me like a bullet taking all the air from my lungs.

I stood there looking at him alternating my gaze from him to her then back to him.

"I gotta go find Cassie" I said walking away.

As I left them in the kitchen I could've sworn I felt my heart break again. I felt tears building up but I swallowed them down and decided that I was going to have some fun tonight and by have some fun I mean get laid.