fate | CL fanfic

five

April 17th:

"Ugh the pink isn't light enough." I grumbled as I continued to spread it out across my canvas, the colour still looking dark, "Susannah can you pass me the white paint?"

"You ran out Miss Ashby." She replied hesitantly.

"Fuck sake," I mumbled looking at my now disastrous art work, "This is not going my way today is it?"

"Oh I don't know!" Susannah tried to say positive

I closed one eye and looked at my painting again, picking up a different sized brush from the pot and deciding to fixate on something else, "Hmm," I paused before putting paint to paper "No I hate it."

"Don't say that it's lovely Miss Ashby."

I groaned "No, there's no saving this now." I picked it up from the stand and put it down, I'd been painting on and off for four hours and it just isn't going my way.

I shook my head and put it facing the other way, since moving to this house my inspiration to paint has been gone and my skills have been off. I'm much better than this usually, "Well I love it Miss Ashby." Susannah smiled.

"Thanks." I replied, of course she'd say that. I'm pretty sure she's paid to say that so I don't do something rash, "I need to do something else, get away from this mess." I referred to the horrible mixture of colours in front of me.

"Great idea!" Susannah agreed as she started to put away my paint pots and the paper, "The sun is out today perhaps a stroll in the garden?" She suggested.

"Mhm... feeling lazy." I shrugged to her, which was odd. I would never say no to a walk in Paris, at home I'm not even remotely lazy. But then again, this isn't home.

I don't miss the marble countertops or the fine linens. It's not a soft chair or a bed. The reason I miss home has nothing to do with whether it's perfectly peaceful or happy. The reason is that there are no strangers there, only a familiarity, one that I take great comfort in.

I walked to the window to look at the weather, the sun was indeed shining and so was Charles. Outside in the garden playing with a dog, I didn't know he even had a dog, it was funny to watch them chasing eachother around I almost caught myself smiling. Almost.

"You know... I might take a book out there and read." I alerted Susannah who was staring deeply at my painting on the floor, "That sounds like a fabulous idea! Hurry on out there!" She almost cheered.

"Okay, okay." I laughed at her as I grabbed a book, pride and prejudice to be specific. On my birthday I was woken up and my dad told me to bring essentials on this 'surprise' trip so obviously I grabbed my books and my art supplies and basically nothing else.

I have hardly any clothes.

Hardly any money that's not now in a joint account with the husband.

Hardly any anything.

I wandered down the many many many flights of stairs which are really starting to take it out of me, if Charles and I were closer I would suggest an elevator, as I reached the French doors at the back of the house they swung open noisily and Charles instantly snapped his head up from the dog to to me.

Since mentioning the situation to Susannah she's been very adamant on being nice to him and now I feel like I have to. My art work isn't appreciating the negativity coursing through my veins and I'm starting to get sick of my self.

This whole situation is giving me art block.

As soon as the dog sees me he comes bounding over, a large stick in his mouth as he runs, the brown fur moving in the wind, "I don't have time for this buddy, I'm trying to read my book." I told the dog as he dropped the stick at my feet.

Charles came running behind the dog, probably nervous of my reaction to him,  "I'm sorry! He's just very excited and I know you're trying to rest."

"Being frustrated isn't going to do anything for you Eva, you can't go home and you know it. You might as well try." Susannahs words were ringing in my ears as I looked to him.

"You know what, why not?" I reply with a smile, placing my book down on one of the outdoor tables to throw the stick.

It was eerily warm considering how late in the day it was, unseen roots reached up to snatch at my ankles as we ran around with the dog chasing him and then each other around, laughter loud and prominent.

We must have run around with the dog for hours before I lost my footing and fell to the ground, the damp smell of the coming storm swelling in my nose as I chuckled "Are you okay?" Charles came over offering me a hand to pull me up from the ground, the dog licking my face.

"I'm great actually." I replied with a smile, I'm actually having a good time in this damn house. And Charles is so lovely, why am I trying to block out his existence so bad?

"Yeah? Me too." He smiled helping me up the dog wagging his tail in happiness as I stroked his head, I learned quickly this wasn't Charles' dog but his best mates Pierre's. Charles offered to watch him this week whilst his pal goes on holiday with his girlfriend who I have asked to meet when they return.

And that's why I decided to ask a question out of my damn mind, "Why don't we have dinner together tonight instead of eating in separate rooms? Would you like to?"

Susannah is going to be so proud of me.

The cogs were turning in his head, "I would love to." He replied instantly, the words had hardly registered in my head before his response.

"Okay well let me grab a shower and stuff, I'm sweaty and gross." I joked but it wasn't a joke, I was exhausted. Running around in circles gets tiring quickly, especially when you haven't moved in weeks.

"I'll see you soon." He smiled softly, his cheeks light and pink from the constant running. I'd never realised how truly smiley he was.