fate | CL fanfic

twenty six

"Your sure this is a good idea? Just going home?" I asked out of nowhere, we were sat on the jet that would eventually take us back to Monaco. Back to where everything happened.

"Look I don't know what's best right now, okay?" He snapped at me, his head in his hands as he sat in his chair, seatbelt over his lap. The last twenty four hours or so have been an absolute fucking nightmare.

Nowhere was safe, threats were one thing, but Susannah. That was something else. Minutes after the person over the phone hung up the house number called Charles, announcing that they'd found Susannah.

They found her hanging from the bedpost in my room, a note on her cardigan "It was her time."

"Charles I can't- I just this is too much." I muttered, he didn't get me off of the beach for hours, I sat there and sobbed in the middle of the sand despite the fact someone was probably watching if they knew we'd gotten married in the chapel.

"I know it is Eva."

I sat on the seat by myself, watching houses as we flew above them, we weren't that far from the airport and I could just about make out people as we weren't high enough yet. Dogs wagging their little tails happy to be outside. I listened to music to distract myself.

All of a sudden, my heart beats faster. The air gets thicker. Why do I feel like this again? Nothing is happening?

My hands get sweaty and I grind my teeth whilst pinching the inside of my hand to distract myself with some sort of pain, I recited lyrics in my head whilst someone steals control of my hands as they shake.

I don't feel anything as the air gets even thicker, I can no longer breathe. I didn't know I could choke on a feeling as I began to cough, holding at my throat again, "Hey, hey take some water." A stewardess passed it to me as she assumed I was having a coughing fit.

Which I guess I was.

Charles was so deep in his thoughts as he looked over at me, "Eva, Eva it's okay. We're okay." He reminded me, trying to put a small smile on his face.

"Susannah isn't okay." I remarked as I sipped on water, my throat feeling the sensation of coldness, "I'm not okay, and you're lying to yourself if you think we're okay."

"We are, physically we are here and we are living right? Nobody is stalking us, nobody is watching us, nobody-

"You don't know that!," I yelled "And even if we are okay I don't fucking feel it. I haven't felt okay in a long long time Charles, I get paranoid. I feel sick even thinking about-

"Shhh shhh." He cut me off.

"No no Charles! And I don't understand why you would send us back to where all the chaos is happening- my fucking bedroom Charles- my room," I wobbled my words "She was killed in your house in my room... I don't want to be there!"

"Where else are we going to go Eva? I mean really think about it for two minutes," he yelled "You were miserable with Kika and Pierre, you don't want to go home and they've found us in Greece. We can't run away forever."

I was shocked at his demeanour, "We shouldn't have to run away! This isn't normal, this situation isn't normal!"

"No matter where we go someone's going to find us- we showed we were scared running away," he admitted "Going back they won't try anything."

"You'rere lying to yourself and it's pathetic."

"What do you fucking want me to say Eva?"

I sighed looking at him, "I don't want this lifestyle anymore, I don't want to be running away all the time. I don't want to feel this way forever."

"I don't want this for you either but-

"No! Don't even say this is part of the job! My childhood wasn't like this and I doubt yours was either so-

"Oh please Eva, you didn't know anything about your dads business until a few months ago, all of your childhood holidays were probably 'running away' disguised, I mean your maman-

"Don't bring that situation into this Charles."

"Evang-

"Please Charles," I begged "Please can you just retire, you can end all of this shit. Quit your job and we live somewhere nice, Italy maybe and we can keep our money and be happy... no more negotiations, no more threats."

He gaped his mouth, "These threats are all about you, not the business, not about me Eva. So don't tell me what to do with my life, before you got here nothing like this happened."

"You just told me what's happening is normal!," I yelled "Yet it's never fucking happened to you!"

"What do you want to hear? No this is really uncommon and I'm really fucking worried-

"Just quit Charles please, just quit."

"I can't Eva, I can't give it up. My papa worked so hard-

"Pass it to Lorenzo! He's so fucking jealous he might as well have a go at it." I snarled, my arms crossed over my chest. I'd never been so angry. I was like an animated character, smoke would soon come from my ears.

"I wouldn't do that to the business or to them, I've learnt what I'm doing- they'd fuck everything up in hours." Charles had never spoken so harshly about his brothers, specifically Arthur. He loved that boy to death.

"Charles-

"I don't want to talk about this Eva- I'm not quitting the business and we're going home," he finalises "Whether that's what you want or not, I'm sorry."

"Doubt you even care what I want." I replied and he didn't even bring himself to reply, the whole thing made me feel uneasy. Someone was always watching us, or maybe just me. Susannah isn't here anymore and even worse she was killed in my room. The room we'd painted in, the room she did my hair in, the room I confessed my feelings about Charles in, the room we became friends.

She was like my fairy godmother.