MCYT Comedy - If there was a MCYT Comedian (Full Shows)

Show 1: ''Childcare''

(SOME OF THESE SHOWS WILL CONTAIN JOKES ABOUT GAY SHIPPING) 
This indicates a short pause for laughter/dramatic effect: *
(you don't have to type ''hahaha'' every time unless you want to, just lmk if you liked it at the end^^)

Hello Wattpad! How are we doing tonight, ladies, gents, and folks who've fallen to Ranboo's gender thievery? 

Yeah, thanks for coming, I'm here to tell you some things that most of you probably already know, but in a blunt way that triggers a response of amusement, which is basically all a decent comedian is. 

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So we're gonna get right into it, and I'm going to start off with stating the obvious, so watching Tommyinnit...is like taking care of a child. We all sort of know this, we've been calling him a child for years, but we don't really discuss how this affects the viewing experience. 

To be more specific, it's like taking care of a child, but you're trapped in a big glass box and can't control anything the child does, so you have to just stay there with one hand covering your mouth and watch as the child gives you multiple heart attacks in the span of fifteen minutes.

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I watched his series of vlogs where he went to New York back when they first came out and the entire time I was aware of the sensation of my anxiety increasing, it was like watching a horror movie made for specifically introverts. 

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A large percentage of Tommy's viewers are female, and this is not because we women find him attractive, at least not most of us, it's because when a biological female sees a young child, our brains are wired to get emotionally attached, and that's why when he does something stupid, we don't just laugh, we also sigh, you know? You can say a lot with a sigh, and in this case we're saying 'Help, but don't help me, help him'.

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I can't bring up Tommy without bringing up Wilbur, they are THE duo, the crimeboys, we love them both 

*pause for applause

Wilbur is a man with the only thing that, for me, makes men tolerable, and that is emotional vulnerability, it's very rare, in a society like this, that you find a man who is not only comfortable with their emotions, but enjoys talking about them, and Wilbur has that, and it never fails to impress me, basic though it is.

That being said, I'm about to expose him, are you all ready for me to say it? You ready? Here it comes, I'll say it....Wilbur stopped doing his try-not-to-laughs because he knows if he tries to do one now, all we have to do is submit a Tommy clip and he's done, he's out of here like the straight members of Ranboo's audience, there's no hope for him to win a you laugh, you lose game now that Tommy's in the picture, he can't.

Come on, I mean it takes so much practice not to at least smile when you see Tommy, I can't do it, I bet you can't do it, even Philza can't do it, and you'd expect Wilbur to be able to? Pff, don't make ME laugh, I'm the comedian here! No, Wilbur sees that child and he's banging on the table that way he does when he's struggling not to laugh. If anyone's gonna do you-laugh, you-lose challenges, I think it should be Ranboo. 


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A try-not-to-laugh stream with Ranboo would just be another Ranbathon, it would go on and on for days, unless you make the right gay s-x joke, in which case it would still go on forever but only because they'd be laughing too hard to end the stream! 

My name's Anonymous_Author163 and you've all been a wonderful crowd, I'm gonna try to stop each show at about 600 words, cannot believe we're ending the first one on this note but that's the MCYT community for ya. Vote on this and lmk if it was good! Join us next Friday night (probably) where I'll be back with some new material! Be patient with me, I'm not used to sticking to a schedule lmao. Goodnight, Wattpad! Love you all!