Missing Your Chances (phan)

Chapter 1 {EDITED}

You know how people say you have to do what feels right when you have the chance? They are right, and I learned that a little too late. I hope you will learn from my mistakes and will live in a way so that you will not have any regrets. This is the story of how I missed the best thing of my life.

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I sighed. Dan was late, he said he was going to be back at five, and it was six-thirty! I didn't like being over protective, but an hour and a half was a long time.

'Maybe he's found a girl, and is with her. You have to remember that he has his own life, and that you don't own him, Phil.' Yet again I had to remind myself that I wasn't in control of Dan- no matter how much I loved him. He wouldn't accept it, so I have to leave it alone. Besides, I wouldn't even be able to tell him that I'm bisexual, let alone tell him how much I truly love him.

I looked at my phone. I resisted the urge to call since I didn't want him to get any ideas, but I think that I could just tell him that I was wondering if it was okay if I had dinner without him. I rang his phone; a woman picked it up, "Hello?"

"Oh, uh, hi. Is this Dan's phone?" I asked, the woman not really sounding like she would be with Dan. She sounded so serious and old.

"That is very possible; would you come to the Police Station of 23rd Avenue? I will explain once you're here, just ask for Detective Catherine Jones." My heart rushed and I nodded, and then realized that I was on the phone so she couldn't see me nod.

"Oh, okay. I'll be there in about five minutes." Hanging up, I grabbed my keys and headed for the door as quickly as possible- hoping for the safest solution. He probably lost his phone and they wanted me to pick it up for him. Or he had been robbed, and needed someone to pick him up, but happened to be asleep at the time. Yeah, nothing really bad happened, 'it was all going to be fine' I reassured myself though I knew that wasn't how it worked with the police. They would have called one of the phone's numbers first, and besides, I know Dan has memorized my number, and I've memorized his.

I went outside and saw that there was a thunder-storm. Dan loved those; he would sit outside just to watch them, even if it meant getting soaked. Whenever thunder would strike, he would be found sitting by the window, completely hypnotised by the flashing lights. It was a little weird at first, but I got used to it. We even paused the Doctor Who Christmas Special! I hoped he was okay, so that he could see it, curled up with a cup of cereal with milk and a teaspoon. He really was adorable when he did that, his face lighting up whenever the lightning would strike.

Just another thing I love about him.

I ran to the car and sped off, going as fast as I could without being pulled over. I felt I didn't have a minute to spare. When I got to the station, I went through the door, hurried straight to the front desk and waited for the lady to notice me. She had rectangular glasses and a purple blouse, and seemed to be in her twenties. She looked up and asked in a tone far too happy for a person working in a police station, "What may I help you with, sir?"

"I'm looking for Detective Catherine Jones, she told me over the phone to come." The girl typed wickedly fast whilst looking back at the screen.

When she finished, she looked at me and murmered a bit glumly, "Yes- for Detective Catherine follow me, sir; she said you would be asking after her. We'll be going down to the morgue."

My heart stopped; everything in my world froze. The girl nodded solemly and stood for a moment, waiting for me to get my bearings. I felt numb inside as I followed her, I was just on auto-pilot, both of us were silent as we shuffled into the lift and rode down. I blocked out all thoughts and did what I had to do.

She led me into a cool room, a woman in her early 40s was standing there, next to a dead body that was covered by teal paper. The young receptionist left, leving me alone with the woman, who stuck out her hand and introduced herself. I mirrored her actions, though my voice was just a monotone line of words, unlike hers. I got bits and pieces, but I couldn't really say I was listening. Honestly, the only selection of words I heard was the last three, which sent shivers down my spine. "-identify the body?"

I meekly nodded, though I knew that Dan was under the blue tissue. With all my will, I wished that it would just be a random person I didn't know, and Dan was with a girl, or stuck in traffic. Or even at home in the flat, watching the storm, or playing Guitar Hero. I hoped that he wasn't anywhere near here, but instead a safe place in warmth and comfort.

Detective Catherine lifted the top and folded it over and I saw Dan, a blank expression on his face. There was no gleam in his eyes, no colour in his face, no rise and fall of his chest. But yet, I felt like he was really just sleeping and would wake up and grin. That he was just pulling another one of those horrible pranks on me like he always did.

My eyes widened and I took a step back, feeling a little sick. Then I moved up to him, observing his face. He had several scratches and a large hole on the top of his head. They probably cleaned him up quite a bit, since it would have bled gallons. I grabbed his hand and slid to the ground, the smell of metal overwhelming my senses.

The entire time, Detective Catherine sat by silently, feeling sorry for me. Did I want her pity? No. I wanted to crawl in a hole, cradling Dan in my arms. I wanted to have my best friend-the man I loved, but never got the chance to tell.

Numbly, I flicked my fingers across his eyes, which closed easier than I thought possible. "Goodnight, Dan." I whispered. I regained myself, a single tear falling down my cheek. I wiped it away and stood up, weakly saying to the Detective, "This is Daniel Howell. Also known as 'danisnotonfire' on YouTube. If you need more information, call me. I'll be going now. I hope you have a good day, Detective."

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And there is chapter one! 

Please don't forget to comment your opinions and if you 'enjoyed' (not that I would expect you to take satifaction from a dead Dan) this chapter please don't hesitate to vote!

Thank you for all the support and 2000 reads! It's truly amazing and I love all of you,

-G xx