Missing Your Chances (phan)

Chapter 4 {EDITED}

     I posted the video, putting a link to Dan's other video in the end credits, the said credits being the only editing I did. I named it "IMPORTANT: Our Revolution,".

I decided to watch Dan's video from YouTube instead of from his computer because then I didn't feel like an intruder of their business, if I watched it from YouTube I would be just another Danosaur seeing one of my favourite YouTubers dead, not my best friend.

I got the video queued up. My hands were shaking due to the nerves so I went into the kitchen to get some tea to calm me down. I checked the clock and saw that it was five twenty-seven. I wasn't tired in the slightest and I was well on my way to an amazing breakthrough where I could feel like I hadn't failed Dan. I decided to make coffee instead of tea and collected together some crisps and Maltesers, wanting energy for the long night ahead.

I didn't want to crash my systems as I was in the middle of this project, though I know I couldn't work on it all night. I feared sitting still for too long without having something to do. I would rather fall apart in front of his computer rather than sit with only my own mind, because I don't know what it would start to think about. I hate having that irrational fear, but I couldn't help it. I wasn't as as strong as Dan, nor will I ever be but I couldn't help it so I had to deal with it.

When I got back to Dan's room I sat down and got situated, starting the video.

"Hello, Danosaurs. Today I have some horrible news- if you are watching this I have died. It would not have been expected or anything like that because if I expected to die I would have made a different video. I want you guys to have a last video because I think you deserve it. I don't want to just disappear!" This sentence made me think of my project rather proudly. "So, I've made this as a goodbye!"

Dan put his hands up like he was happy, but then became very serious. "Now, listen guys, I may be acting all happy and fun in this video, but in real life right now, people will be mourning my death. I don't want you guys offering advice or anything like that, because they will be able to deal with this on their own. You can say you feel sorry for them and the such, but after around a week or so after this video is posted, I don't want any more of you posting anything that mentions me, unless that person says it is okay, okay? Some people like to deal with losses differently than others, and you have to respect that." Dan gave the camera a pointed look like he was talking to a four-year-old, and I let out a small giggle. It was amazing how he could still make me laugh.

"Now that I have passed on, the cult that you were in has dispersed. Don't worry, though! You can always join Phil or something, and I'm sure they will treat you nicely. Though, they probably aren't as crazy as you people, I think you can manage. However, you will always, always be a Danosaur at heart... or, on your keyboard, or something." Dan waved this off like he didn't really care about the difference, and like he wasn't talking about when he was dead, unlike the video that he made for me. However, I did notice something about him that I noticed only because I have known him for years. He was nervous. He was going to tell us all something and he was afraid of how people would react. I was fairly curious about what I could possibly be.

"And now I will tell you one last thing. I don't really know if I should, but... YOLO! Hahaha, I'm just kidding!" I didn't want to wait to find out what he was going say.

"Here I go..." Dan paused for a moment, and I was at the edge of my seat, having no idea what he could possible say. "I like a friend, but he doesn't like me back. When I first met him, I had a crush on him, and over time it grew until I could honestly say that I love him. That man is Phil Lester, but I don't have enough courage to tell him. But, I would rather suffer in silence and still be his friend rather than not have him as a friend and have him know. Call me what you want; I'm dead, so it doesn't matter, but if I were alive and Phil and I started going out, I wouldn't give a damn what you called me. Insult Phil, on the other hand, and your ass will be dead before you know it!" Dan smiled fake-cheerfully; pausing like it was a picture, and then did a jump-cut so he was farther away from the camera.

"With that note I will leave you, and I want you to know this is seriously my last video, and this is my last goodbye. Bye!" Dan suddenly had cat-whiskers and did a hand-heart, freezing the picture until he faded into black and white, and then faded out completely.

I stared at the screen, looking at the person I love, who actually loved me back. I never got to tell him, and he never got to tell me, and neither of us would. I didn't even know what to think. I was shocked.

You know how people say you have to take the chance and do what feels right when you have the chance? They are right, and I learned that a little too late. I hope you will learn from my mistakes, and will live in a way so that you will not have any regrets. That was the story of how I missed the best thing of my life.