Missing Your Chances (phan)

Chapter 5 {EDITED}

I sighed, stretching out on what used to be Dan's bed. I'd made at least one video every day, filming and editing all in one because I had nothing else to do.

What could I do?

I really didn't feel like going on twitter because I didn't want to see what people thought about Dan's death, or how we had both loved each other but didn't tell anyone. Cooking and such weren't options, because I wasn't really very hungry anymore, and I didn't want to clean the house, because then it would feel like I would be washing away the Dan In it.

Ever since Dan died, (three days ago) I had been working on the project to make Dan remembered. I had an idea, thanks to the YouTuber CheetahPie, also known as Kayla. She was the beta of the team and we had a lot of good YouTubers by our side.

We had Alex, Charlie, PJ, Chris, Carrie and loads others. Everyone was so nice in the memory of Dan, everyone was helping me more than I ever thought they would, and I almost never got any hate about my sexuality. Everything was going a lot better than I thought it would, but there was one thing.

I missed Dan.

I still had four days until I could watch the next video, and I was nervous. In the back of my mind I knew that he would tell me about his secret crush, but I hoped that there would something more-something that would fill in the blanks, though I couldn't explain what it would be.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by Kayla messaging me through Facebook, which I was pretty happy about. She was pretty much the only person I really talked to anymore, and I loved how she was always really nice about whether certain things would be okay to post or if I thought they would be offensive. Honestly, she's the only reason I wasn't overworking myself in this project, because I felt I could trust her with part of it. After all, she was the one that had the come up with the idea. I opened the tab to see what she wrote.

"I found some more people to add to the team. Also, I was wondering if you are still up for the live chat today and still want me to come over. -K"

I had forgotten about the live chat, so thank god that she reminded me.

"Yeah, I almost forgot. Thanks for reading my mind and telling me that. I should go buy some food, because my fridge is feeling sad. -P"

"Hahaha, no problem. If it weren't for the fact that I had it on a sticky note by the door, I would have forgotten, too. See you at three. -K"

"See you. -P"

I flicked my fringe out of my eyes and sat up, closing the tabs on my computer. I really needed more food in my house for when she came over, so I needed to go to the store. I should probably make something for dinner because it was going to be a long live chat, and I didn't want to make Kayla go hungry. I grabbed one of Dan's old hoodies and a pair of his old sneakers. I had begun to use his things, though I still used my own clothes, mostly.

I got my keys and drove to the store, grabbing some healthy and junk food. Kayla was a vegetarian so I got salad, some fruits, and lots of sweets. I also got some cake mix, incase Kayla and I got bored. It was weird how close we had gotten over the course of three days, but she was really nice and almost understood what I was going through. She knew I didn't want to talk about it and didn't push me to do anything I didn't want to do, just letting me recover at my own pace.

After paying and bringing the three bags to my car, I got a phone call. 

It was from the police station.