Winter Love (Book Two)

12 | In His Arms II

SAMI'S POV

I couldn't help but break down. It's taken me a lot of effort to have to suppress the natural instinct of jumping whenever I receive a text message or a call from Jesse, or reach out to him first.

That tiny voice in the back of my head had broken my will, ruined my spirit, leaving me bare, completely ripe for the picking for wolves like Jack and Zack, and I paid the heftiest price. But when the boy they've tried to paint as a villain, vilify and bash, ruins another episode of your endless wallowing by showing up at your front door, the jacket they took from me clutched in his hands, I can't help but just allow my body to cling onto his for dear life...

"I'm so sorry" I say, tears spilling from my eyes as I place my head on his chest, his heart beat providing a soothing rhythm of song, calming me down just a tad bit.

"Hey" he starts, releasing me to be able to gaze at my face, "don't be sorry babe." He's just prolonging this prank, don't fall for it again... that cruel voice chirps in again, and my body goes rigid. The challenge lying within the fact that whenever I let my guard down, I'd been hurt. Completely destroyed, and I've been left on my own to pick up the broken pieces, and attach together whatever could be, but the point is - with each and every heartbreak, with each and every disappointment, I lose a part of myself, that allows the voice in my head to hold more power over my life.

But then, there's Jesse, who - according to the voice in my head, should've broken up with me because I'm not his type, should've broken my heart because all of this is just a massive joke, despite his best efforts to prove the doubts otherwise...

"Are you alright?" he asks softly, placing a hand below my chin and raising my head to stare intently at me. Oh, those green eyes. How they've become my drug since the first day I saw Jesse; and how foolish I've been to think I'd survive without ever gazing into them. Getting my daily fix...

"Your silence tells me that you're not" he answers his own question, wrapping a hand around my shoulders, directing me back into the house and shutting the door behind us, "let's sit."

He pulls me onto the couch, his hands falling into mine as I snuggle back into the fleece I was cocooned in before he knocked: "Sami," he starts, "I'll forever hate myself for not connecting the pieces of the puzzle any sooner..." he sighs, "...I'll continue to despise that when you distanced yourself from me, my reaction to that was to be content staying away from you, regardless of what my heart begged me to do. I persisted that you needed the space, but I was just rubbing salt into the wound...probably validating everything they ever said to instil doubt in your head about us," he breathes, looking at our entwined hands, a solemn look on his face.

And I wish I could've had just a bit longer of any opportunity to marvel and gaze into the beauty that is Jesse; or relish in his words of reassurance, but that voice had quipped in, beckoning me not to believe any of this. That it's all just an act. Forcing me to remember that I'd had the very doubts about Zoe, doubts that I went an extra mile to voice with her, but she had guaranteed me, she had promised that my heart would remain protected...but she still hurt me.

So what makes him different?

Why should I believe any of this?

Why?

"Why should I believe you?" I whisper, voicing my thoughts, inadvertently acknowledging the control that this voice has over me.

My question seems to catch Jesse by surprise, his eyes widening slightly as he sits up straight, before breathing: "There's nothing I can do or say to make you believe me, it's all up to you. It's just...I'm your boyfriend, and I wanna be with you."