Winter Love (Book Two)

18 | Unadulterated Yearning

SAMI'S POV

"Jesse!" the short, burley woman exclaims, her eyes glistening with joy upon landing on Jesse - who had just taken my mind on an unexpected loop after bearing his soul to me; first, his mother's abusive relationship with his stepdad, and now, the passing of his father.

But upon stealing a glance at said boy, seeing the smile that dawns his features at seeing the old woman, an unavoidable thought occurs to me: that even the most pained souls, those that have been handed the unfortunate side of life, could still keep themselves afloat. They can still wear the biggest smiles and no one would know that they've been through so much hell because they choose to approach life with an optimistic eye. Maybe I've misunderstood things...

"It's been so long mi hijo" she adds sweetly, opening her arms, awaiting a hug.

"Rose" Jesse responds, accepting the silent invitation as he engulfs the lady - who I've concluded is Rose, Miguel's wife.

"You've grown so much" she laughs.

"He's a grown man now" Miguel comments, as he also steps into the small trailer, the tiny space becoming even more cramped. "Soon, he'll be getting married and having kids."

Jesse turns to look at me as soon as Miguel says that, a knowing smile pasted on his face, and for just a fraction of a second - the rhythm of my heart beat falters with what I could only describe as my heart skipping a beat, butterflies fluttering around my stomach as heat rises uncontrollably up my face: "Rose" he gestures to me, "this is Sami, my..." he pauses, looking at me with a look I could only describe as uncertainty, "...my friend."

This time around, my face flushes for an entirely different reason: disappointment, as I couldn't muster the strength to keep up the cherry smile. I mean, after being open to so many people about our relationship, despite the uncertainty I still have about my sexuality - it still sucks to be shoved back into the confines of a closet whenever you have encounters with brand new people; and judging from the guilt that flashes in the eyes of the other boy - he could tell just what was going through my mind.

If he loved you, he wouldn't hide you, that voice chirps in, much to the dismay of sanity.

"Well, it's nice meeting you Sami" she says with a smile, not missing the suspicious glint in her eyes: "you're coming with us for lunch" she adds in finality, leaving no room for argument.

I manage to force a smile onto my face so as to not seem rude, regardless of the fact that I want nothing more than to just lock myself away in my bedroom and avoid all human contact for the next day or two, especially with that voice in the back of my head: "It's nice to meet you too, Mrs."

Her gaze lingers on me for a beat too long, and if her eyes weren't that warm shade of brown that felt like the warmest of hugs, I probably would've squirmed shyly - fearing that she may very well be reading my soul with how intense her gaze is; but with a smile, she just shakes her head lightly, declaring that Jesse and I should follow them back to theirs, as they make their way out, taking whatever lively energy was in the space with them, leaving nothing but palpable tension lingering in the air...

"Sami" Jesse calls softly, taking a step closer, "I'm really sorry about that." And even with the lack of elaboration, I didn't need an explanation to be able to tell what he was on about. That's because he doesn't care about you. "I'm just scared Rose and Miguel will react badly because...you know, they're old. I just don't want to create any more situations that may worsen your situation."

An unwarranted flame of anger is lit inside me as soon as those words slip past his lips. Firstly, my mental state should be no reason for anyone to walk on egg shells around me, treat me like a fragile piece of furniture that would break even with the tiniest movement. Secondly, how dare he lie that I'm the reason why he chose not to tell Rose and Miguel about us? Because he knows, much like I know - that he didn't tell them all to protect himself...