simply in love (jenlisa)

14

lisa's pov

I've hurt Jennie a lot of times before.

From the very start of our relationship, I was lacking in a lot of things but Jennie filled that hole for the both of us.

She was always patiently waiting for me and my time, always so forgiving for my every flaw, and never demanded anything more than what's supposed to be a bare minimum.

And even with that, I failed her. I failed to show just how much she meant the world to me, and if I'm being honest, I think it was a little too late when I tried showing her that. It was triggered by my fear of losing her, which eventually happened... because I was stupid and I took her for granted.

Back then, it was really just her for me. Rosé was just a colleague who turned into a friend... but she liked me and I was scared of how Jennie might perceive it. It was hard to be far away from her when I'm practically being shoved to another girl... which isn't my girlfriend.

It was probably fun for other people, teasing me and Rosé around.. but in reality, I was already losing my girlfriend.

And it was my fault, lying just to keep her and making her feel as if she wasn't supposed to feel hurt because of it... until she got tired and fed up, she broke up with me.

Jennie broke up with me and it was my fault. I begged her to stay, told her how in love with her I was... but it was too late. I had lots of chances to show her that, but it was too late for me to act on my love for her that I didn't even get to hear if she ever loved me the way I did.

Even when her actions, her affection, and her pain were very telling... I don't want to assume that she loved me. But I'm willing to work on it, to earn her trust back and make her fall for me, deeper than she ever had for me... and anyone else that came after me.

There's still a sting in my chest whenever I am reminded of her being in love with someone else.

"Too bad I heard it first from other people, huh? Poor you," Jennie sarcastically rolled her eyes at Andrew, that guy from her work that I used to be jealous with.

I didn't mean to overhear their fight but I was worried because Jennie seemed upset hearing from Rosé that Andrew will be gone for months for a tour. That's fucked up. Andrew should've told her first so she wouldn't have to know from someone else, and Rosé, of all people...

I know that's rich coming from me. And it's stupid to be this worried...

It's my first time seeing her again after almost 2 years, but the pain seemed to be as if it was only yesterday. It's insane because she's changed a lot, but I feel as if my feelings for her never changed, not even one bit.

"I'm sorry," he slowly lets go of her wrists to wrap his arms around her waist, "So sorry. Please forgive me. I was just scared because I don't want to be away from you either."

Jennie's anger seemed to dissolve. My jealousy shot up to the roof... I wish we had more moments like those, fighting and making up. I wish I'm still the one holding her.

I quickly turned around. I shouldn't have followed her.

"I love you," I hear him say. I squeezed my eyes shut briefly, my eyes moist.

"Wait..." Jennie pauses, "I'm still angry but I love you too."

I clenched my fists at my sides, angry at myself for following her... angry at myself for hurting her before... angry at myself for being the reason why she's in love with someone else now.