A Broken Man

Chapter 20: I'm a Monster

Kawaii-Chan stopped, she kept her back to Zane, but she stays to hear Zane.

Zane: " I know you hate me, Kawaii-Chan, but it's true. I really am sorry."

Kawaii-Chan: " But it won't fix the past, will it?"

Zane: " No. It won't.... But I was messed up back then... And I'm still am..."

Kawaii-Chan looked back at Zane for a moment. Zane then reaches up to his face, he pulled his masked down and moved his hair out of his face, showing Kawaii-Chan his whole face. Kawaii-Chan held a gasp in when she saw his beaten-up face. Zane had small scars on his right side of his face near and one his mouth, and a large scar on his eye socket above it, where the arrow hit him all those years ago. His right eye was gone, and his socket was almost completely closed. He did this so Kawaii-Chan could tell he mean every single word he was about to say because no one had seen Zane Ro'meave's full face in years.

Zane: " I made so many mistakes in my life. I ruin so many lives, and it's all because of this. I was just... So mad at Garroth for something he didn't mean to do... I was mad at father, he refused to train me to be a guard because of it... I felt left behind and abandoned... I was tricked by a twisted man to believed that a even more twisted monster was an actual good guy and should rule the world. I gave up my childhood and life just to live that lie all because my head was all screw up of everything that happened.... I always felt... I always felt that everyone loved Garroth and Vylad more, and forgot about me... I felt like a shadow and not good enough, not good enough for anyone, and I pushed everyone away who tried to comfort me or was close to me. It's my fault... It's Always Been My Fault! It's my fault that so many people lost their love ones, it's all my fault that people have PTSD from all the things I did, it's all my fault... At least you were nice to me when we first met... I mean, I couldn't get you out of my head after I left, when I was in the Irene Dimension and the Nether.... You actually liked me, didn't you?... What is wrong with me... Why am I like this... I'm a monster... I'm nothing but a broken, twisted monster!"

Zane pressed his head on the bars of his cell, tears rolled down his face, he slide down to his knees. He pressed his hands on his face, surprised to see he was crying, almost like he never cried in his entered life.

Zane: " Wh-what am I doing?.... Why I can't I stop?.... It hurts.... It hurts so much...."

Zane continued to cry, it felt so weird for him, but it felt nice at the same time for some reason. Zane pressed his hand on his eye, trying to stop crying, he bit his lip hard, hard enough that blood started to drip down a bit. Kawaii-Chan turned around, when she crouched down and was inches away, Zane saw tears running down her face too. She talked in a normal voice instead of her usual happy tone third-person voice.

Kawaii-Chan: " I missed you too... *sniff* I thought about you all the time, even now.... I never forgot all the times we were together, I tried to after finding who you really were... but I missed you and I didn't want to forget them at the same time..."

Kawaii-Chan reaches out to Zane's face, pulled away a bit, no one had touched his face before, his mother did before he pushed her away all those years ago. But he leans into Kawaii-Chan's hand after a while, her hand was soft and warm. Zane raised his hand and pressed it against Kawaii-Chan's hand. He felt everyone in the village wasn't there anymore, it was just him and Kawaii-Chan, and he felt like his problems were starting to fade away. Tears started to flow down his face, he clenched his teeth a bit, he never cried this much since he was a kid.

Zane: " I... I can't stop... Why can't I stop crying?"

Kawaii-Chan: " Because you kept it in for a long time, and everything is coming out at the same time. But it's okay. It's okay to cry, if you keep it bubbled up inside, it will burse out at any time and it isn't healthy to keep your feelings locked away."