A Broken Man

Chapter 50: It's my Fault

A few days passed, Kawaii-Chan was slowly getting over what Dante did, but Zane couldn't stop thinking of Dante. It was his fault, it was all his fault that Dante snapped. It was his fault that the village got attack, it was his fault that everyone fell down hill and it was his fault for so many mistakes he made in the past. Zane rubbed his hands through his hair a bit, shutting his eye as tight as he could and clenched his teeth a bit. So many voices rattled in his head, he was haunted by them and his past self.

Zane's thoughts: " I'm such a F***ing idiot. It's all my fault and it always has been. I'll be nothing but a Screwed-up man that everyone wants dead. I guess it doesn't matter, I probably deserve it, I can't change who I was or what happened in the Past. And it's all because of my stupid jealousy and anger I had for Garroth all those years ago. I should have never followed the Shadow Lord, I should have never start all those things at Phoenix Drop.... I shouldn't even be here, I already cause enough trouble. First Alexis, then the battle with Scaleswind, and now this, having Dante turn his back on his friends and family because everyone was with me."

Zane started to breath a bit heavy and fast, but snapped out of it when Aphmau show up.

Aphmau: " Zane? Are you... Okay?"

Zane looked over at Aphmau, it looked like he could break down crying at any moment.

Zane: " No... I don't think I really was okay."

Aphmau: " Ummm.... Wanna talk about it?"

Zane: " I don't know. Why do you want to? You know what I did in the past, and.... you want to help me?"

Aphmau: " I guess. Besides, you have changed a lot during your time here. So, what's bothering you?"

Zane: ".... *sigh* I think I might give up. I honestly don't even know why I'm still here and why you all decided to accept me, even after everything I've done to you and many others in the past."

Aphmau: "... I don't understand why we did it myself, actually. I wanted you dead so badly, but something changes. It's hard to explain, but it was like the real you came out after Kawaii-Chan and Nekoette spend time with you."

Zane: " ... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry."

Zane rubbed his arm a bit, trying not to shift into his demonic form.

Zane: " I sound have never stayed, you all should have killed me for everything I done..... And because of me... You lost a loyal friend."

Aphmau looked aside, she didn't really know what to say. She was furious and scared at what Dante has become, but Zane really does look like he didn't mean for him to go down the path he went. He didn't do anything but talk to Kawaii-Chan, Nekoette and Dmitri to keep them company while he was doing other things or choose not to spend time with them.

Aphmau: " Jealousy is a powerful thing, it can make us do a bunch of dumb things and cause us to go through with it in our blind rage.... But I guess we can't do anything for Dante anymore. He made his decision, he decided to stay mad instead of talk to someone and to let some of the Shadow Lords Goons to attack."

Zane: "... But he fell down that road because of me, all because his wife, children, a few others and even you seem to enjoy being around me after I was let out of that cell."

Aphmau: " Yeah, but like I said, jealousy makes us do a bunch of dumb things and blinds us to do things that we don't mean to do and we don't realize it till it's too late, you know?"

Zane looked away, remembering making mistakes because of what happened towards his eye and how everyone treated him after his accident, letting the Shadow Lord to get to his head in one of his human disguises and used Zane as a puppet almost his entire life.