Song For Dolores

Chapter seventeen

I sit alone at home some days. My sister left to go back to college and brought her boy friend with her. My parents are always working and don't get home until midnight then when the Sun rises they leave. I don't know how they can just barely have sleep. The only person taking care of me is Ella and Isabell. At times my mom would leave a cold chicken noodle soup out for me. At times I feel dead inside and could care less about anything. With my right leg being covered by this cast there isn't anything I could possibly do except read, which I don't mind, but I just want to run away and go outside. Feeling the grass between my toes and each step I take would be an adventure, but no I stay here on this bed in my room. Oh the taste of being free and wild! I place the book I was reading down and try to get up from my bed to get a snack like an apple or something. I feel like my arms are weak, well basically all my body. I miss James, he hasn't called me nor came by my house. I give up trying to get up and just stare at the ceiling with my cheeks still aching in pain.
'It must hurt my darling!'
I nod and agree with the voice I hear as I drift off to sleep. My eyes slowly closing and getting heavier each second. The sound of the door closing startles me from me drifting off to sleep. I can almost hear my heart beat from my chest. I put my back against the headboard of my bed and try to lean in closer to the door to see who it was. "Who is it?" I yell loudly so the mysterious person can hear me clearly. Although seconds after I yell my throat starts hurting a lot. "David and I!" What the hell are they doing in here! Okay, I get it that my dad owns a business so he barely has time to come by the house, but did he really have to send David and Kate! Why couldn't he send someone else like Aubrey. She works for my dad and she used to babysit me when I was younger.
I hear the footsteps coming closer and closer. I lower my body down and cover my face with my blanket, maybe they won't see me. The soft blanket against my cheeks brings, but is it worth the pain? I close my eyes and hope they don't I really really don't. I open my eyes and I am staring at the ceiling instead of the intense blue blanket. I look to my right and it's my desk then to my left which was nothing but a window. Where did they go and who would remove the blanket from my face? I get up a little and put my legs on the edge of my bed. I hear nothing, no footsteps. Just the beating of my heart and my breathe going in and out my nose. Maybe I'm just tired. Tired of people, tired of living, tired of trying to be what people want me to be. Just tired. I swing my feet above the ground and think. I grab the crutches beside my bed and slowly start to move towards the door. I want to close it, but I want to see David. I lean against the door and see no one in the hallway. I stand up once against with my crouches and walk straight a little more with my weak arms. I hear laughter from a distance. My whole body doesn't move. Where is that noise coming from? I walk towards the guest room and that's where I see a silhouette, a big blob of someone or two people. I hear it once again, the giggle of a woman. I lean in closer, but lose my balance and fall to the ground. Face first then my broken leg. "Ahh!" I scream when the pain strikes me. No noise anymore. "Oh my god, just wait there A I will bring and ice pack and your pills." Kate runs downstairs while David lifts me onto his arms. With my right right on David's chest and my other on his back I feel relaxed. "Are you okay?" He asks, but for some reason I just want to cry and cry. I dig my face into his neck and feel like I'm on a cloud on his arms. Everything starts fading into the pitch darkness I see. The only thing I hear is David's voice last say, "Promise everything will be fine." Again I take in the beauty of silence after what he said.

I wake up in my bed, wrapped around my blanket. Pills spilled on the floor and a bag of warm water around my cheek. I feel sweat on my forehead and just pain again on my cheek. I just want my days with my cast to be over and gone I hate being on this thing and this never ending pain. When can I go back to school? When can I be around people my age? When will this suffering end?
My mom enters my room and comes towards me. "Oh my darling, you are sweating!" She says while she unwraps the blanket around me. "I just got off the phone with your Doctor and you have a check up real soon!"
"Okay? What's the big deal?" She smiles and replied, "You might get your cast off!" My mood from being bewildered to happy. I no longer have to walk with those crutches. I try and keep the smile on my face throughout the day and throughout these weeks passing by me like the wind.

Today the day I actually get this thing off. When I came back to school I tried so hard to concentrate on everything since I missed a bunch of stuff, also I tried to ignore the stares I get passing the hallways. I try to get closer to my friends, but slowly they seem to drift apart. I just miss James.

The Doctors office was a bit full but I waited patiently while I read 'A Farewell To Arms'. "Alexa McNair?" The nurse calls for me. My mom helps me up to walk towards the door.
They put me in a room where the bed was and two chairs.

It felt like years since last time I used my right leg to walk on. I am just glad that I get to have that thing off. Once I arrived home I laid on the grass and enjoyed the beautiful grass that nature has to offer.

As I was walking to my history class I see James talking to probably the prettiest girl I have ever seen. Why is she in high school when she can be a model? Of course James would talk to her she is gorgeous. I watch as he strokes his hand on her arm. I try to hear what he says but the only thing I hear from him is, "Be there ten, you're just sexy as fuck" she giggles and walks away leavings James alone. He turns around and unlocks his locker. I look at the time and have about a minute so I must talk to him as soon as I can. I run over to him.
"James!" I hug him, but I don't feel his hand around me. I back up from him a little bit and grip on the straps of my back pack. "James? What happened to you? What happened to us?" He closes his locker hard and looks down on me. "Nothing happened and there was never an us, so move I need to get to class." The bell rings and I hear him curse under his breath. I'm late and he is too and it's all because of me. "Look you bitch you made me be late to class, so get the fuck out my way!" His words hurt me. I thought he cared about me and I for him. "No I won't until you tell me why you are acting this way."
He pushes me and walks away. I look at him walk away from me and this relationship we had. He turns around and makes eye contact with me. He stops walking and just stares right at me. "Do me a favor, Fuck off my life!" He walks towards a class and opens the door. I hear the yelling of the teacher from a far. What is wrong with him? Yelling at me like that and telling me those hurtful words. I look at his locker and remembered it was the numbers '13,13,4' of course how can I almost forget.
I open his locker and with all the angry and sadness I had inside of me I grabbed his books and through them on the floor along with all his paper work and his notebook. I ripped prices of things that I can't even remember. I watch the mess I made by his hallway. What have I done? 'You did the right choice now run away' I listen to the voice in my head and instead of running I look at what I did, how did I even do this, what type of anger did I have inside me to cause this? I hear clicking of a heel, must be a teacher. 'Run!' I hear the loud whisper and run away. I can't be here anymore.