It Was Nothing

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Lena's POV

What did I do? What the hell did I do?
I regret. I regret it so much. I shouldn't have never done such thing to my wife. No matter how disconnected we are, I had no business receiving comfort from another woman, from my boss...

FLASHBACK

We've been asking for a grant from the Kilfer Fondation and Monte and I had been very invested in this for some time. We've bond over making this school better together. Even though she's the boss, she tries to make me feel as her equal and work with me as partners. Anyways, she came in my office to tell me about the foundation's response, and here we are in my office, on my couch with the door close and champagne...

She had made herself comfortable, took off her shoes and poured champagne into our mugs to make sure no one notice that we are drinking while at work.

We were happy to have get the grant and then there was a little silence and Monte noticed my demeanor changed. So as usual she asked me what was going on... So I told her.

Ana... the twins' mother. She's pregnant, she lives with us because Stef brought her home without consulting me first and now, I have to watch her pregnant self, ready to abandon another one of her babies, not long after I've lost mine. I have to watch her bonding with my children that she abandoned as well and that I raise and on top of everything, she wants us to adopt her unborn child when I'm still not over the loss of Frankie, and I'm just supposed to be fine with that...

"Nothing's fine right now." I said to Monte as I'm struggling to keep my emotion under control.

I'm clearly not okay and she's the only one that notices, Stef doesn't even see it...

It feels like Monte's the only one I can talk to right now, she seems to be the only one who cares about what I feel lately and I so badly need attention, so I just open up to her, talk about my feelings with her, about how worried I am about everything, even my marriage... and she just listen you know, and then she comforts me...

"Oh, it's okay." she says softly, coming closer to hug me warmly and as always, I welcome the attention because it's about all I get these days and I hug her too, my arms around her back as we stayed like this for a few seconds before we pulled away slowly, before she cupped my cheek so gently into her soft hand.

"I'm sorry." I sighed, embarrassed to burden her with all my problems, but still, feeling grateful that at least I have someone to talk to.

"Don't be." She said softly, looking into my eyes with so much compassion and then... the air just changed, and she looked at my lips, then into my eyes while her face is getting closer to mine and I'm unable to move and she just... she just kissed me so gently and I... I kissed her back... I grab her face and I kissed her back, deepening the kissing until our tongues found each other to slide together sensually and the air is getting hot for Stef and I haven't kissed like this since a long time as she slide her hand in my hair to pull me closer and her arm in my back as I gasp a little, still kissing her until she moaned in my mouth and my senses finally came back...

"No, I can't. I can't, I love my wife. I'm sorry." I said, quickly pulling away and standing up as she looked at me puzzled.

"Lena... I thought we..." she started, but I stopped her right away because I can't think about anything else but Stef right now, about my family, and how I absolutely can't destroy it.

"No. No, there's no 'we'. I'm married. I'm married and I plan to keep it that way, now if you'll excuse me, Mariana's show is about to start." I said before exiting my office as fast as I could for, I couldn't stay in a room with her. Now I feel sick in my stomach, and I know that what I feel right now is guilt...

FLASH BACK END

I can't tell Stef what happened. It was nothing, it didn't mean anything and telling her will just makes things worse between us. She's already so stressed out; I don't want to add anything to her plate.

After the show at school, Mariana and Jesus were supposed to get home with Ana, but they never reached the house. They got into a car accident. Thankfully it wasn't too bad, except for Jesus's foot, but that got fixed.

However, since that event Stef is going crazy over the fact that she struggles to find the person who were driving the car that hurt our children. She's literally obsessed with this. And I try my best to be supportive even though I would like if she would just let it go a little bit... not giving up, but just step back a little. But that's just not her, she's passionate and protective and our children are her all life, as they are mine and she can't help but push herself even though she now struggles to find sleep...

I learned about her sleep problems when she came by the school one night when we were having a party. She came and looked miserable, and she literally cried into my arms right on the spot. I knew my proud and strong woman wouldn't break in front of anyone just like that, and I knew she needed me more than ever.

I was actually supposed to go on a trip with Monte that same week, and thank God I didn't have to go, because now I'm immensely uncomfortable around her because of what we've done. She keeps saying that it's fine, that it was nothing, and yes it was nothing, but why do I feel so bad about it then? Why am I so awkward every time Stef mentions my work or Monte, or anything related to her?

The worst part of this was when Stef went out with Jenna one night and dump into Monte in a gay bar... Jenna being herself and searching for some woman since the divorce with Kelly, just jump Monte and forced Stef to introduce them, and it was an absolute nightmare when we had to have dinner with them at our house as Monte is talking to me with her eyes, right in front of Stef and I was feeling so uncomfortable when she said that she had a crush on a woman and look right at me in a sneaky way.

I felt so guilty and also angry because Monte wasn't even supposed to be gay, I wanted her to be straight because that way the kiss really meant nothing at all, but now... she's with Jenna, Stef's best friend, which mean that we will spend time together outside of school and I absolutely don't want that because it's torturing me. I don't want to be around her because that remind me that I kind of betrayed Stef, at least that's how Stef would see it because I know the woman. She's all about loyalty and I gave her such a hard time about my fear of being cheating on again and she has been so reassuring and honestly perfect on that point. I also gave her such a hard time about keeping stuff from me, I made sure that she knew how pissed it made me and I know she feels guilty about that sometimes, but now... I'm the one keeping this from her. It was nothing, it didn't mean anything but, I don't want her to know because that will hurt her, along with the fact that it happened months ago, and I didn't say anything...


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Hey guys! I'm back, and I hope you will like this new story. Let me know what you think! Enjoy :)

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