Love Languages (BY: Book 2)

Wow!

A few weeks later

Stef's POV

Lena is finally able to eat by herself. God damn it that was a long and difficult road, but we finally got there. Little by little, she started to eat more, then I didn't even have to beg for it, and finally I knew she was now okay when I saw her take the initiative to go grab a snack in the middle of the afternoon.

To say that I was relief was an understatement because I was scared for some time when I saw her face every time I would bring food to her, and I never want to see that hopeless face ever again.

However, the more my worries for her melt away, the more my anger comes back. I needed to prioritize her health over my hurt feelings, but now that she's good, and strong again, I can't help but think about what she did to me all the time, and it makes me want to pull away so dawn much. I know I shouldn't because that's not how we are going to fix our issues, but I swear it's hard to keep being nice to her. I know I'm going to explode soon, at the first little thing she would do that would irritate me, I know I'm going to jump her, and I hate it. I don't want that, so I try the best I can not to be around her, but I know that I can't avoid her forever and that at one point we will need to talk.

In another hand, I haven't been feeling too good about myself these past few weeks. I need something to change, I needed something to myself, to feel good, and so I did something that I've always wanted to do, but never dared. I figure that since I always put what other people think first, I should change that now and do something just because I want it, and if someone has something to say then I'm so angry that I would take it out on them... Not the best strategy but hey, that all I've got to give me some courage so I'm going with it.

I jump in my car right after changing out of my uniform at work and I went to a hair salon, asking for a very short haircut. After seeing myself in the mirror, I felt oddly lighter, I felt better and like a weight have been lift from my shoulders.

Also, tonight Lena and I have the birthday of Kelly that we already said yes to months ago, and I know Lena is already over there since she's helping with the preparation while I have to go change at home. Thankfully Jenna won't be there since Kelly is now her ex and that they don't get along so well. Plus, it would have been incredibly awkward because Jenna haven't spoken to us since Idyllwild... she's angry at Lena so she avoids the both of us witch I hate because she's my best friend, but I get it. If I was her, I wouldn't want to see Lena either...

Anyway, I went home to put on a black blouse, and some classy pants along with high heels. I honestly feel good, with my hair short, the makeup, the earrings and all. It feels a bit strange because I'm not used to see myself without long hair, but I can't say that I'm not satisfied with the way I look.

So once ready, I got in the car, and I drove to Kelly's party. It seems like a lot of people already arrived, as I park in front of the house. I know I'm probably going to get some reaction about my hair with such a radical change, but at least I won't have to deal with them one by one. Almost all our friends are here, so at least they will all have time to get used to it, and I will be done with it once and for all.

I get off my car and walk to the front door to ring the doorbell and it's Shane that welcomed me. A few years ago, they came out as non-binary and I can tell they are much happier and more carefree now. It took a little time of adjustment for the change of pronouns, but it wasn't that hard to acquire.

"Hey! Holly shit, you look good as hell, Stef! When did you cut your hair?" they say, very joyful witch honestly eased my nerves a little, for I wasn't really in a mood for a party since Lena and I are not okay.

"Well, actually... today." I say, feeling a bit awkward because compliments are still not my thing.

"Oh wow! Well, it looks very good, it suits you very well. But, come in, come in." they say as they motion me to come and close the door behind us.

"Thanks. You don't look that bad yourself." I say as they smile at me.

"Your wife is helping in the kitchen, I'm sure you want to see her as usual. What do you drink though? I'll bring it to you." they say.

"Oh thanks, but I actually can use an escort to the bar. Plus, I have to say hi to everyone." I say, not looking forward to seeing Lena if I'm honest.

"Okay, follow me then." they say as, on our way, I say hi to everyone, and of course each one of them make a little comment, and I feel so very awkward because I hate being the center of the attention, but they were honestly all very kind, and they all loved my new haircut. From the time I reached the bar, I lost track of Shane. They must have been taken somewhere else.

After getting myself a martini, I figure that I had to go say hi and wish a happy birthday to Kelly and since she is in the kitchen, I can't avoid Lena anymore.

I walk through the house and reach the kitchen with a few people in it. Among them, the most beautiful woman of the party... of course it has to be Lena. She's wearing a large dress that hug her breasts down her waist and then float down around, and with her hair up, just a few curls falling here and there, fuck... she knows that it drives me crazy when her neck is exposed, so accessible... It honestly pissed me off even more when she's so gorgeous like this because I don't want to be attracted by her, but I am, so very much... I'll suck it up though, I'm still too mad for that.

"Hey! Look who's there! Lena, it's your sexy cop! And... oh my God! Wow! You cut your hair!" Kelly exclaims the second she saw me as I walk in to hug her and then she pulls away to take a look at my new face.

"Hey! Well happy birthday!" I say, pulling her back in my arms, trying to disperse the attention, when I caught Lena's eyes very briefly and I wasn't quite sure how to read it, so I broke eye contact very quickly.

We pull away and hand her the little gift that I got her.

"Thank you honey. And girl, don't you look good! Lena, why didn't you tell us to be prepared for that?" Kelly jokes as I smile at Kelly and then make my way to say hello to Chandra and then Claire.

"Well, I didn't know... you... did you cut it this morning?" Lena asks as I can barely look at her for some reason.

"No, I went after work." I say briefly.

"Wait. So, you cut your hair that short, and you didn't ask your wife first?" Claire says as I drive my eyes to her.

"Ask her? Last time I check it was still MY hair." I say, trying the best I can to not sound angry, but it was honestly very easy to piss me off these days so...

"Yeah, but... I mean, what if she doesn't like it?" Claire continues for some reason as I was very close to scream, but I remind myself that it's Kelly's birthday, and so I have to stay calm.

"Well, she doesn't have to like it." I say, as Claire looks at me stunned. She hasn't been around for too long, but she sure as hell has an opinion about every one's life. Usually, I can pull up with it just fine, and play along, but like I said, I'm really easy to piss off these days.

"Wow, you..." she tries to say again before Lena cut her off.

"Well, there's no need to get all worked up, because I love it, a lot. You look beautiful, babe." She says as she put her hand on the small of my back, and I feel my all-body shivering and tensing at the same time.

"Thanks." I say shortly as I quickly got away from her, by going to get a little appetizer from the kitchen counter as the others get back to their conversation, but of course she gets close to me again as I can smell her sweet perfume and it's driving me nuts.

"You look so sexy like that... can I touch to feel your hair?" Lena asks into my ear as she's right behind me, her body very slightly brushing mine.

"Lena, not now, okay? Leave me alone." I say a bit harshly, once again getting away from her. It hurts to be like this with her. To feel this spark between us, but at the same time the want to be far away from her so she wouldn't hurt me again.

And with that I exit the kitchen to go at the bar again, for I need alcohol to get me through this party...