Love Languages (BY: Book 2)

You Didn't Stop Me

Lena's POV

I arrived at work hoping to God not to run into Monte for I can't stand her anymore. I know what we did is mostly my fault, but she had no business telling Jenna about it. I would have even preferred if she had gone to Stef instead of our friend, even though that would have been risky for her. Knowing Stef, she probably wouldn't have believed her and think that Monte was just saying crap about me, and that's when Monte would have been in big trouble for my wife is very protective of me.

Well, I guess now, it's different. Stef won't ever have this blind trust she used to have in me anymore and that will be my punishment...

"Hi Lena." I heard someone say as I lift my head to look at my doorway.

Of course, since I manage to get involve with my boss, I have to see her everyday now, and today is no different.

"Hi." I say a bit dryly since I have no interest speaking with her at all. I know I have to do my job, so I have no choice but to be polite to my boss, but that's all she's going to get from me.

"I saw that you had to take a sick leave. I hope you feel better, Lena." she says as she enters my office and I can't help but want her to stay far away from me for I'm not a mean person, if she talks with me I'm not going to ignore her, besides again, she's my boss, so I want it to be clear that we are not even friend anymore and that I don't want to talk about anything else than work with her, and I have to make that boundary very clear right now.

"Can you come in and close the door please." I say as a smile appear on her face, but one that I was soon going to make disappear.

"I'm glad you still want to talk; I thought you would never want to speak to me again." she says as she comes sit across from me.

"Can I speak freely with you? As if we weren't at work and you weren't my boss?" I ask for I don't want to give her the occasion to fire me, I need my job, Stef and I can't do otherwise.

"Of course, Lena, you know you can talk to me, always." She says in a soft voice.

"Okay, I just wanted it to be very clear, if I talk to you, it's because you're my boss and I have no other choice, but I'm telling you, and I won't repeat myself, we are not friend, we don't do small talk, and we certainly don't spend unnecessary time together. What happened between us didn't mean anything to me and it was the biggest mistake of my life. I don't love you and I never will. I love my wife, I'm in love with my wife and nothing won't even change that. And if I ever hear anything about you talking to one of our friends about me or Jenna, or Stef, I'll be your worst nightmare. Did you get that?" I say very sternly for I've been too soft with her.

If I'm honest I had a feeling she wanted to intrude into my marriage, but I didn't pay much attention to it, I just thought I was imagining things, but now that I can see more clearly, I know that I wasn't that paranoid and that I should have been much more careful.

"Are you saying that your marriage falling apart is my fault? Because if you think that, then I don't know what to say to you. You're the one coming to me every time your so-called wife doesn't pay enough attention to you. You're the one complaining about her and about your life all the time, about losing your baby, and I've been there for you. I listened to you, I comforted you and now you come here as if we weren't two in this situation. I fell in love with you that is true, but you encouraged me Lena, you..."

And the more she was talking, the more I felt guilty, but not toward her, toward Stef...

"I've never encouraged you, that is not true!" I defend raising my voice a little since she's getting on my nerve. What she should have say is 'I understand, I respect your boundary', but no. Of course, she's trying to find a way to get to me again.

"But you didn't stop me." she interjects as my eyes suddenly became in fire.

"And that was my worse mistake. And it will never happen again. Also, FYI, my marriage is not falling apart, and we are done with this conversation. Don't talk to me unless it's about work!" I state as she looked at me almost surprised, for I don't think I have ever raised my voice like that with her or give her such icy glare.

As Monte leaves my office, and slam the door, I'm wondering if my marriage isn't actually falling apart. Is Stef still going to love me exactly the same way as when we first met, will she still have this deep passion for me, will that thing in her eyes, that spark every time she looks at me ever come back?

This conversation with Monte along with those questions just proceeds to kill my mood that already wasn't really great, and today I feel discourage. I feel like my world won't ever be the same no matter how hard I fight to get my life back.

It's ironic when I think about it for, I now crave a life, a happiness that I had, that was right under my nose, but that I was complaining about constantly with Monte. Was it blindness or was it stupidity? Others would call it life, I guess.