FIXING THE BROKEN VOWS

CHAPTER 15

Sitting in the kitchen sink, my thoughts are clouded in a dark abyss with a mug of coffee in my right hand. It still hurts even if the scenario repeats itself. Pain after pain. Betrayal after betrayal. Unending pain.

"Are you okay, babe?" I saw him coming down the stairs with a worried face.

I shook my head and smiled. I should be okay. I just have to get used to the pain.

"I-I'm okay Van, thanks."

I said hesitantly as I jumped off the sink and stood up vigorously, but failed when my vision started to blur. Not wanting to worry Van, I shook my head abruptly and smiled again. I didn't want to worry the guy, especially since he came all the way from Manila and got soaked in the rain because of me.

"You need to rest, Clea. I'll take care of things here, why don't you rest in the room? You really look pale, mi amoré."

He said to me in a panic when he saw me massaging my temples. He quickly came over to me and massaged my head gently. How I wish Miguel would also take care of me the way Anton treated me today, it's like an explosion of emotions, if it was Miguel, my heart would probably explode again and I would be deep underwater, unable to surface. That's the effect the monster has on me.

"What are you talking about Van, I'm really okay, no need to worry about me." I patted his hands and stepped away, giving him an abrupt smile. "I'll take care of your dishes. You should rest, you're the one who came from Manila."

I smiled at him. I'm thankful it was him who rescued me in the woods. I was hoping it would be Miguel, but who am I for him to look for me in the middle of a heavy downpour. I'll be staying in Anton's suite for the night. I can't go back to Miguel's hotel room knowing someone has been there with my husband.

"Are you sure? Should I just do the dishes?" He shook his head at me when he saw me smiling.

How can I still smile? Surely, my broken heart is not a reason for me not to smile again, right? I'm beautiful, women are powerful. We don't need a man to make us whole, we can be who we want to be without guys. Why are there women who ruin other people's lives? Can't they live in peace, without leeching off someone else's marriage!

I took the dishes from him when I saw him approaching the sink. I'm the one who's going to stay here, I shouldn't be feeling guilty. I'm not even sleepy. I will just wonder why he can't love me the way I deserve. Where did I fall short for him to do that? I'm not perfect, I'm far from being one, no one is born perfect but I'm annoyed at myself for not knowing why he can't love me the way I deserve.

"Van, let me do that. You need to rest. You're still soaked from the rain earlier and you came from Manila. Go on…"

I shooed him away but he just shook his head at me again. I had no choice but to pull up a chair at the table and watch him do the dishes. This guy… I've known him since then, he was the first person I met when I came here to the Philippines. He's my very first friend here in the Philippines. Before I met Karen and Miguel, I had him.

"Thank you again for finding me earlier, Van. I thought I would be stuck in the forest until morning," I laugh sluggishly.

I still hold the coffee mug, it's not even halfway finished yet. The rain hasn't stopped, and it's accompanied by strong winds now.

He shook his head. "I'm worried. Are you really sure you won't go back to your hotel room?" He turned his gaze towards me, so I weakly shook my head.

What would I go back for? To confront that leech of a woman? To fight? To cause a scene? I don't want to go back yet, my mind is clouded with thick anger. If I go back there right now, I know I'll be overwhelmed with hatred. I don't even know if that leech of a woman is still there!