Being in the helping profession a tool to grab is knowing when to put forth the efforts to be understood. Gauge the room - are the occupants open to listening? If not, there is more than a proverbial barrier to opening that door. Let's say there is resounding space to converse. Are they willing to remove their current held views in order to see it from anothers eyes?
To decenter oneself is a skill. Perhaps this is not the most useful for advancing in life, to create a space of comfort and safety. However depending on the lens and the grace one holds this tool allows for growth of human connection. Communicating about joy, grief, fear, or loss allows space for something bigger: the human experience.
Comparing and contrasting, like some mental battle of chicken on the monkey bars, does not create connection but revulsion. Before there is a pause to question where the attack is coming from there are just as many a source it has as targets. Decenter from the topic and shift to curiosity. Pause to remember that pain is a universal experience. To understand the source of the pain does not further prove its existance. Just as well to not understand the source of another's pain does not change the pain you witness from their trembles, the fall of their tears, and the fear in their eyes.
Both parties would do well to remember this.
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PoésieA collection of poetry across ages, moments, and confusion. Tw - read at own desire
