Happy Ending (MattxMello)

13. Perfect World

Matt
In a perfect world Mihael would be happy. In a perfect world he wouldn't have gone through everything that he has. In that perfect world we would be together the way I had always imagined we would be, but this... This is so far from a perfect world that it's like I'm looking at some twisted work of fiction that shouldn't be there. In this world, this morbidly twisted world...Mello woke up and remembered all of the bad things that had happened to him, remembering the torture of having to live life. He opened his eyes and wanted to just go back to sleep and never wake up again, never have to deal with what has happened. In this world, Mello woke up and rolled back over, not wanting to deal with the pain facing the world would bring him, always fighting tears, always about to break. He roamed around, like a ghost, with no purpose and no will to live; he continued in this heart breaking state for a terrible two months.

Mello is lying on the couch, staring at the ceiling. "Mells? Have you eaten today?" I ask, knowing that he hasn't. He looks at me for a second, shakes his head and then goes back to staring at the ceiling. "Come on Mells, you didn't eat yesterday either and you're starting to look like a corpse." He doesn't even look at me this time. "When was the last time you... Uh... Took a shower?" Again, my question is met with silence from the skinny, blond haired boy. "Mello, say something. Seriously, when was the last time you changed your clothes? When was the last time you went outside?" He ignores me, anger built up inside of me and without thinking twice I exploded "Mihael! Answer me dammit!" This elicits a reaction. He props himself up on an elbow and stares at me with hollow, sleepless eyes. "Why don't you take a hint and shut the fuck up?" And with that he plops back down and continues staring at the same spot, I had had enough . "You know what? I am sick and tired of your bullshit, Mihael! You haven't done anything for two fucking months and I can't take it anymore! Stop it, Goddammit! Stop feeling so fucking sorry for yourself and think about someone else for once! How do you think I feel? Do you think this is easy for me? Well, it's not!" I cover my mouth with my hand, suddenly realizing what I've done and regret sinks deep into my heart. He sits straight up and looks at me like I've shot him. "Mells... I'm so sorry. I... I didn't mean any of that, I'm just stressed and... I'm so sorry Mells."

Mello
"No, you meant every word." He did, he meant all of it. The worst thing is though, that he's right. I've been selfish and stupid. I didn't even think for one second that this could be just as painful for him. For Matt. I'm still staring at him, rather surprised that he had snapped so suddenly. He's usually so calm, so strong, so... Matt. I look around me and see for the first time what I've been doing. Matt's video games lay in a perfect pile by the TV, untouched. The two ashtrays on the coffee table are filled with half-smoked cigarettes and it looks like Matt hasn't slept in days. There are dishes everywhere filled with food that he's made for me which I hadn't bothered to eat and chocolate bar wrappers covering every surface. He's still mumbling apologies when I look at him again. "Stop. Just... Stop. I'm the one who should be sorry. I'm a mess and I've dragged you down with me. You don't deserve this." He runs his hand through his bright red hair and walks over to me without another word. He pulls me to him and squeezes me, I smile and squeeze back and he lets go too soon. He looks me right in the eyes and picks me up bridal style. "W-What are you doing?"

Matt
He seems confused but he isn't struggling. I've taken him to the bathroom. I put him down and start to strip him of his clothes. His face turns bright red as I take them off and I smile a little to myself, he's so cute when he blushes like that. Once all of his clothes are in a pile on the floor, I pick him up again and place him in the water I had run earlier for a bath. As I begin to wash him, his blush fades a little but doesn't disappear completely. I start to carefully wipe the scar on the left side of his face with a washcloth, but he places his hand on mine to stop me. He looks me right in the eyes and whispers, "Thank you."