Happy Ending (MattxMello)

6. Nightmares

Mello
He's fallen asleep at the computer, again. He works too hard these days. I shake him gently, "Matt, Matt wake up." He lifts his head slowly and rubs his eyes, "Mells?" He yawns and blinks rapidly, trying to wake up a bit. "Come to bed, it's late." He didn't sleep yesterday, so I'm not going to let him brush the suggestion off this time. Plus, I can't sleep without him. He yawns again, "What time is it?" His voice is hoarse and quiet. "Half past two, Matt. You need to sleep." He nods, so I grab his hand and pull him towards our bedroom. He flops down on the bed and I cover him with the blanket, he's got this big, drunk-looking smile on his face (probably a result of the lack of sleep) and whispers, "Thanks Mells, I love you." I freeze out of shock.

Did he really say what I think he just said? I look back at him, now out cold, and wonder if he meant it. I mean, I love him too, of course I do. I have for years. I've never said it though, afraid that he wouldn't say it back, that he wouldn't feel the same. Did he know what he was saying? Will he remember saying it when he wakes up? I shake the thoughts out of my head, knowing that it wasn't worth torturing myself over. I look at him now, he's sleeping with a stupid smile on his face, his red hair messy and all over the place. I can't help the smile on my face, I can't help smiling every time I look at him.

I climb onto the other side of the bed and lie next to him, wrapping my arms around him. He smells like the cigarettes because he's no doubt been smoking non-stop for the past couple of days. I don't mind though, it's the way he smells and to me, he smells like home. The only home I've ever had, the only home I ever will have. His soft breaths are slowly lulling me to sleep as well. I take a deep breath, "I love you too Matty, forever and always."

He's slumped over, covered in blood. What happened here? "Matt! Wake up damn it Matt!" I'm screaming as I run over to him. "Run! Matt! Can you hear me? Run!" I reach out for him but my hands go right through. His car sits behind him, badly dented. What happened? "MATT! MATT, PLEASE! GET UP!" He doesn't move, I'm screaming with everything I have. The hot tears burn my face as they run down my cheeks. Matt lies in the road, leaning against his red Chevrolet Chevelle, dead. I roughly wipe my tears away with my sleeve and slam one of my fists against the door of his car. The sobs shake my entire body, coming in huge, unforgiving waves. Why wasn't I here? Why wasn't I here with him? I could've saved him. I look up at the dark grey sky,"Take me. Take me instead. PLEASE? If you're listening, take me! Please..." My voice cracks on the last word. I want to touch him, to wipe the blood off of his face, to hold him now. One last time. I manage to get something out between loud sobs, "Matt... I love you. I love you... now and forever, I always have. I'm sorry, so sorry Matty. I should've told you sooner, when you were still here." I collapse on the ground next to him, irreparably broken.

I jolt up out of bed, breathing heavily, heart pounding. Matt, where's Matt? He's not next to me. I search the room frantically with my eyes, but he's not here. Tears are running down my cheeks and I'm shaking. Matt runs in then. It wasn't real, just a horrible nightmare. Matt is right here.

Matt
"Mello?" My voice is panicked. He's seated straight up, tears running in continuous salty rivers down his face. I rush over to the bed and pull one of his little, fragile hands to my chest and hold it there. "Mells, what's wrong?" He just shakes his head, causing his long blonde hair to stick to his tear stained cheeks. I pull him into a tight hug, letting his head rest on my chest. He's shaking and breathing rapidly. "It was just a nightmare Mells... Shhhhh, it's okay. It's okay." I rub my hand up and down his back to help calm him down, it works but just barely. I can only imagine what was that horrible for him, that would cause him to react so violently. I've been spared the worst of the nightmares, or so it may seem. I never screamed, never cried. Maybe I'm as numb as I've always thought, I don't suppose I'll ever know. Leaving my thoughts I just sit and comfort him for a while, as I've done so many times before. I don't ask him about it though, he's shaken up enough. I guess I'll find out someday.