A Valley of Shattered Hearts

Chapter 8

Chapter song - Middle Of The Night (Violin) by Joel Sunny

I whisper, my breath catching up to me. I was really hoping it was all a dream. It's been a week now and a long one at best, I don't think I've even said one word to anyone yet.

It was like I was living in a dystopian reality, I knew where I was, yet the world seemed a little blurry. Everytime I walked, talked, ate, even breathed, I felt that it was not me. I thought it might be something else in control of my body and I'm just there to watch. My stomach churned, I thought my body was twisting upside down. Everyone stared at me when I walked into the room, they looked at me like I wasn't one of them. Like I wasn't a human. It didn't take long until I showed my rude side in an attempt to get out of this dump, but I knew I was useless. I had no purpose. I couldn't do anything.

I quickly became outraged and soon was rambling on about the lies I've been told. President Grey found it amusing, of course- my luck.

I didn't understand this. For what? Is she laughing at my pain? That I can't figure out what happened to Ruby Jones? The whole conversation became very chaotic very fast. Everything that could go wrong did and I don't feel bad for going along with any of it. I swear, it didn't sound that bad in my headspace.
Many shifted their glance, their eyes as dark as the soot from the fireplace, staring deep into my soul. I studied them, I watched them like a mouse. I don't know if it was out of fear, but it certainly wasn't out of kindness. She said her people offered information, something that I didn't have yet, but much needed. I didn't say anything, neither did Evans.

I know many people in the room judged me. They started making up rumors and spreading them like children in primary school. Many included about my life and how I'm living it and how I still was very ill. I thought it was ridiculous, I didn't know adults still made fun of people. I guess I always assumed you leave some things behind when you become older. I don't think this situation could be blown out of proportion more than it already is.

It made me furious. It was enough to keep me up at night. I think- maybe even Ruby would agree with me. I wonder if she saw it too- saw how stupid this world has become.

"What now?" I ask.

Earning a grunt followed by a cackling laugh.

"Now?" One of the townspeople asked.

"Now it is for the Capitol to decide," another townsperson said.

I think and think some more. The Capitol can't decide my fate.

"I just wish this never happened," I mumble, groaning silently to myself.

She sighs, "if you don't cooperate- well- then we can't move forward."

I don't say anything. The town didn't either. We just sit there, listening to the silence that lives among us.

"How's your best friend?" One of the townspeople asked, cocking his head, mocking me.

"Better than you'll ever be," I say, mocking him back.
Everyone was sad. The whole room was sad and tired of it. I could see so many dark circles under so many eyes that I couldn't count. It wasn't just me this time.

I imagine Ruby asking, "remember when we used to live?"

I would laugh and then say, "hardly."

I think it's funny how true it is. It was winter again, my least favorite time of the year. Despite what the songs say, nothing could get me to cheer with holiday spirit. I really was trapped inside of a hole. I think it's starting to kill me inside. I couldn't do anything here. At least I could do something before. I wasn't even allowed to get food. What were they expecting me to do? Let me starve?