Dear Diary

Chapter 4

"So, are you going to see him again?"  Erica asked as she was helping Leia unpack boxes in her office.

"I don't know.  I hope so.  And if not, meh.  I'm good for maybe another five years."  Leia was hoping that wouldn't be the case.  She really didn't want to wait another five years before she felt the touch of a man.  She was just so hurt by Jon and the way he left that she just couldn't bring herself to even entertain the idea of being with another.  Hell, when Danny messed things up the last time they had been together, it took her almost a year before she could find herself really trusting a man.  She thought she had been in love with Jon, and she had been.  But Danny, who came before Jon, had always been the true love of her life.  They had been through every traumatic issue a couple could go through, minus maybe two or three things, and they always managed to circle back around to their love for one another.  So when Leia caught him wanting to hook up with another woman, it left scars on her heart and her brain that just never left.  "Oh hell.  I forgot I had this."

"What is it?" Erica asked as she turned around to find Leia handing her a photograph of the two of them, Danny, Sam, Jeni, Dean, and Lynn from their late teen years.  "Oh my God.  How old are we there?"

"I don't know," Leia replied, looking at the back of the photo as she usually marked them with dates, "I didn't mark it.  I have to be at least nineteen or twenty.  Look at me with Danny.  We weren't like that until then."  Leia felt a lump form in her throat as she started at the photograph.  She was trying not to cry.  She and Danny were done.  He was gone.  He wasn't coming back, and it was better that way.  She didn't even know where he was anymore so, moving forward with her life was simple.  At least, that's what she tried to tell herself.  "What ever happened to Dean and Jen anyway?  Did they ever work shit out?"

"Last I knew yeah.  I don't know.  I really haven't talked to any of them in a couple years.  Everyone's life just went in different directions.  I know Sammy and Lynn broke up and only see each other when they have to for the sake of Dylan.  It's probably better that way.  I don't know what happened to Lynn, but shit did she go batshit crazy.  It's good thing Sam has their son."

"Looks like we're the only two that haven't lost our minds."

Erica's eyes widened.  "Seriously?  I think you mean I'm the only one.  After your little adventure last night."

Leia laughed, "Oh please.  Like you have never, and I mean, NEV-ER left the bar with some guy you just met that night.  Don't even try to play innocent with me on this m'dear.  So I went and had a great time.  So what?"

"Yeah, but that's not like you.  You're just not that type."

Erica wasn't wrong.  While yes, Leia enjoyed the company of men, she wasn't the type to just meet a guy and jump into bed with them.  When she did lay down with a man, it had always meant something.  But the night before with Joseph was nothing more than just sex.  Hours of meaningless, hot, steamy, borderline porno sex.  And for whatever reason, Leia was fine with it.  For now anyway.

"Yeah, well, what am I supposed to do?  Meeting someone the old fashioned way doesn't cut it anymore.  And besides, he's a cutie, and he made me feel like I mattered.  Is that so wrong?"

"No, not at all.  I just know that you sometimes read more into things than what is there, and I don't want to see you go into hiding again.  That's all."

Leia was going to rebut Erica's statement when she heard her phone chime.  It was a text message from Joseph.  "It's him."

J:  Hey sexy.  How are you today?

L:  Tired.  Sore as fuck.  :-)  How are you?

J:  Same.  Listen, about last night.  I meant what I said.  I would like to see you again.