Dear Diary

Chapter 38

Fair warning:  This chapter is a little, oh, racy!  HAHA!

Dear Diary,

It was so wonderful having everyone here.  I enjoy playing hostess to my friends. And that little man Dylan.  He's so stinkin' cute.  He's for sure the spitting image of Sam.  I hope he grows into the same man that his father is.  I thought I had hurt Sam last night when I brought out that picture of all of us from years ago.  But as he was leaving, he said it actually helped him to see it, that it reminded him why he and Lynn had been together in the first place.  And that now, he knows it's okay to be with Erica.  I have to admit, she's changing too, and for the better.  She was paying so much attention to Dylan, it made me happy.  Erica can just be so shallow and self-centered when she wants to be, that when she told me she was fucking Sam, well, I'm not going to lie, I got a bit protective of Sam.  And Dylan.  I'm glad she's proving me wrong.

As everyone was leaving, Jeni made a comment about the photo and asked if I would get her a copy of it.  She's one of my best friends, of course I will.  She said that she couldn't believe how far her and Dean had come from being "goofy teenagers in love, to being married, almost losing that, and now adults in love."  She even started to shed a couple tears before stating, "And from the sounds of it, you and Danny are going to be the next ones to understand what I'm saying."

We let our friends out, and Danny closed and locked the front door after catching some shit from Dean for not coming clean with me sooner, and that he will never be able to stand in his "mother's kitchen the same way again.  Thanks a lot you son of a bitch," to which both men laughed, and then Dean told him that if I really am giving him a final chance, he better just up and run with it and not fuck it up ten ways from Sunday.  Danny told him he had no intention of losing me ever again.  He then asked me if I needed help bringing in anything from the patio, and then realized I was locking the back door and said never mind.  He walked over to me and asked how my ankle was holding up, and I let him know it was still a bit painful, but the meds and the exercises I had to do were helping.  He told me he was glad that I was doing better, and that hopefully the following Saturday when he took me back to the doctor, would be a good visit.  He even promised to correct the doctor about him being my boyfriend as opposed to my husband.  I told him don't worry about it, and he wanted to know what changed my mind.  

"You did," I told him.

"Oh I did?"

"I can't believe you never told me until tonight that you fell for me when you first kissed me."

He lightly giggled and then told me that tonight just seemed to be the perfect time to admit to it.  Not that he wouldn't have in the past had he not fucked up.  But he said the opportunity was more than in front of him, and for once, he was done being a chickenshit about it.  "And besides, what better way to have you accept that, than in front of everyone where if you get mad, I look like the good guy."

"Why you!" I said being completely playful as I smacked his arm, and he pulled back laughing.  Then it started.  I looked into those hazel eyes of his that just had the ability to capture me to the point of forgetting my own name at times.  He moved closer to me so that the space between us was non-existent.  His hands instantly on my hips, my arms instantly looping around his neck, "I've missed you so much Danny," I confessed to him.

"I know darlin'.  I know.  But you don't have to miss me anymore.  I'm here.  And I'm not going anywhere until it's my time to leave this Earth.  No more being a scared kid.  No more looking for something else because I'm scared.  No more negative shit period.  And I mean this Leia, we will take the amount of time we need to make sure it's our version of perfect.  I know you.  I know how you look ahead and fear things.  I. Know. You.  I'm here.  You move us to where you want us to be, when you are ready.  But you don't have to miss me anymore."  He pressed his lips to mine, and my God, you would have thought it was the Fourth of July with the fireworks that were going off between us.  Yes, I had taken him back already.  But this really was so different.  He had grown so much.  And I know when this man is lying or at least trying to.  There was zero lie in his eyes, voice, facial expressions, just no lie anywhere.  For the first time since we were kids, I honestly felt safe with him.  He broke the kiss and we were both wondering why it stopped.  "Bed time, right babe?"